This is a Mercedes-Benz car . . .
. . . this is a tank . . .
. . . much like the one the that Mayor Arturas Zuokas of Vilnius, Lithuania, used to to crush the Mercedes-Benz car that was illegally parked in a bike lane. Crushed it like a grape! Talk about an expensive parking violation! The mayor, an avid bike rider, warned that he would "repeat the performance" should motorist continue to disrespect bike lanes. Now, I don't care too much for the bike lanes, but I can only imagine myself in a tank cruising down the interstate on the way to the big city for work--there have been more than a few mobile idiots and fools I wouldn't mind teaching a little respect to! A tank sure beats sign language any day!
Cristiano Ronaldo plays soccer for Real Madrid . . .
. . . Kaka does too . . .
. . . and they are both paid millions of dollars to do so--I'm talking big time millions around the 230 million dollar level. Recently the owner of the Real Madrid team desperately needed a loan from the bank. For collateral the owner offered the two players. No word yet as to whether or not the bank approved the loan, but it makes one wonder . . . I wonder if the bank would give me a couple of thousand for any of my kids? It is just a thought!
Apparently the truth is really out! Besides beating Starbucks at the coffee game a person can get more than just coffee and donuts at the local Dunkin' Donuts establishment. In Rockaway, New Jersey--gotta love New Jersey--a Dunkin' Donuts worker was recently arrested for selling more than just coffee and donuts--she was selling sex on the side.According to the Parsippany, New Jersey, Daily Record, Dunkin' Donuts employee Melissa Redmond, age 29, was selling a little more than was on the menu. Detective Kyle Schwatzmann told the paper that she was "a nighttime employee, supposedly a very good one." During the six-week operation--aptly named "Extra Sugar"--police watched as Redmond propositioned customers via the establishment's drive-through window before joining her in the parking lot. Redmond was eventually apprehended when she approached an undercover police offer with a list of discounted sexual services. Ms. Redmond might have been an exceptional employee, but come on! This was a coffee and donut establishment--there had to be an abundance of law enforcement officers there at all times of the day and night. You know how they like their coffee and donuts!
This is a gun . . .
. . . and this is wound in the arm caused by a gun shot . . .
. . . oh the things we do for love! A heartbroken Milwaukee man persuaded a friend to shoor him, in the hope that his ex-girlfriend would take him back out of sympathy. Jordan Cardells, age 20, was shot once in the arm by Michael Wezyk, age 24, a court heard late last month, but Cardella's ex was not moved enough by the news even to visit him in the hospital. Prosecutor Christopher Rawsthorne stated, "This has to be the most phenomenally stupid case that I have seem." Wezyk, the shooter, was sentenced to two years' probation. Cardella walked free with a broken heart, an expensive medical bill, and a sore arm for the rest of his life. Talk about dumb and dumber--maybe his ex wasn't so stupid to walk away in the first place!
After . . . and before . . .
. . . according to the London Daily Mirror the average British tourist gains eight pounds during a two-week trip to the United States, thanks to big portions and all-you-can-eat buffets. I thought they might be hanging out at the local Dunkin' Donut store a little too much!
apparently inflation and the recession have caught up with the Tooth Fairy. According to The Denver Post the Tooth Fairy is even cutting costs in these tough economic times. The average sum left under a child's pillow in exchange for a lost baby tooth has dropped to $2.60 this year, from $3.00 last year! Talk about inflation--I always thought I was hauling it in when I found a quarter under the pillow!
And last, but not the least, is gas. Dan Froomkin on HuffingtonPost.com says that it is good to be an oil company. The Big FIve announced "a whopping $36 billion (yep, billion) in profits in the second quarter of 2011," with ExxonMobil alone posting $10.7 billion in profits, a 41 percent increase over last year. Shell's profits doubled from last year, to $8.7 billion, and Chevron and BP were also up. Only ConocoPhillips posted slightly earnings, after it sold its stake in Russia's Lukoil. Which has led to new signs being posted at most of the major gas retailers:
I guess we have to appreciate their honesty!
That's this week's news! It is difficult to decide . . . do we laugh or do we cry? I think I will go fire up the old gas guzzler and head down to the local Dunkin' Donuts--all that extra sugar should do wonders for my teeth. If I'm lucky maybe the Tooth Fairy will leave me a small fortune . . . if not, do you know anyone who is interested in a few adult children for a cheap loan?
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