In the News

Time for a little news from around the world . . . 

Well, I missed the wedding--I was asleep, but it is difficult to miss the news that Prince William and the Duchess Catherine seem to make.  I guess they recently returned from their ten-day honeymoon in the Seychelles islands--wherever that is--in which they rented a private island for a mere $70,000 a day.  The total cost for their honeymoon was nearly three-quarters of a million dollars according to the London Daily Mail.  I wonder what one gets for $70,000 a day in accommodations?  I mean I know what I get when I pay $120 for a room at the Holiday Inn--free cable television, internet service, a bottle of water, a microwave, small refrigerator, an alarm clock that blinks all night long, and several choices of pillows (hard or soft).  That is quite a deal for $120 a night, but imagine what a person could get for $70,000!  I bet they didn't get free wake-up calls or a continental breakfast and a free copy of USA Today.  I bet that they didn't even notice that they spent almost more money on their ten-day honeymoon than thirty average British citizens earn in a year!  I guess that is why they are calling it a "fairytale" wedding and marriage.

But some good did come out of the royal wedding as there is now a movement to beautify Britain--one butt at a time. According to London's Daily Star there has been a sixty percent boom in requests for "bottom-enhancement" procedure from women who are seeking a rear end like the Duchesses sister, Pippa Middleton.    According to a Dr. Lesley Khan of London Kate's sister has bumped the Jennifer Lopez look out the door as British women are seeking the perfect posterior.  Dr.Khan states: ". . .now everyone asks for a bottom like Pippa's--curvy but not too peachy."  Here, here to the beautification of England!!

 The "perfect" ending?

Meanwhile, up north in Canada, a couple has decided to keep their newborn child's gender a secret.  Their reason for this is that they want to make the world a "more progressive place."  It seems that David and Stocker and Kathy Witterick believe that their child--Storm--should be able to decide his or her own gender based on something else besides the equipment he or she was issued.  They have told the press that when the four-month old Storm is ready to reveal his or her gender it will be based on what the child decides and not what a physical feature determines.  They want people to Storm for who Storm is and not based on some "obnoxious" notion of the child's genitalia.  Stocker said, "If you want to get to know someone you don't ask what's between their legs."  In the meantime no one knows . . . it will probably be a couple of years before Storm says.

Who really cares?  The kid is a cutie!

In Texas the legislature reverse a long-standing ban on "noodling".  No, "noodling" is not making noodles for the local church's annual chicken and noodles dinner.  "Noodling" is the practice of catching catfish by hand--usually by allowing the catfish to swallow the hand.  The legislature decided that it is a God-given right for any person who wants to risk his or her digits to catch a catfish to go for it.  State Senator Bob Deuell stated, "I personally don't noodle, but I would defend to the death your right to do so."  Wouldn't it just be cheaper to go to Long John Silvers or Red Lobster and order the fish off the menu?  That is the way I fish and I still have all my fingers!

Then there was the news about the guy in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, who ate his 25,000th McDonald's Big Mac.  Don Gorske proclaimed, "I plan on eating Big Macs until I die." A Big Mac has 576 calories, 32.5 grams of fat, 103mg of cholesterol, 742mg of sodium, and 38.7 grams of carbohydrates--a well balanced meal and this guy eats two every day for lunch. I'd say he is getting close realizing his dream!

What a big old goofy world we live in!  This stuff can't be made up!  Suddenly I feel the urge for a Big Mac after I have my rear end re-proportioned while staying at the local Holiday Inn.