Wilting

Compared to a lot of other states this summer, I shouldn’t complain . . . but it is so hot this summer!  The majority of the days since the start of June have been in the 90s and several jumping over the century mark.  It has been a unnaturally warm—no, make that hot—summer here in Montana.  I can’t speak for the rest of Montana, but frankly I am tired of it.  Tired of all the hot!

I imagine that those of you reading this are wondering the answer to that question of “how hot is it?”  It is so hot that the birds have started to wear potholders to pull worms out of the ground.  It is so hot that farmers have started feeding crushed ice to the chicken to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.  It is so hot that I have started to determine where I park my car by the amount of shade I can find as opposed to distance—nearly walked a mile to work this morning.  It is so hot you burn your hand opening the car door and have learned to drive with two fingers.  It is so hot that cows are giving evaporated milk.  It is so hot that I have taken to standing half-naked in front of an opened refrigerator . . . well, I did, until the local Sears salesperson told me I couldn’t do that in the store any more.  One person told me that it was so hot that he saw a squirrel fanning his nuts!  It is HOT!

This heat also has a tendency to make other things hot.  A local weather station in College Station, Pennsylvania did a little research to see how the heat affected other things.  This is what they discovered when the temperature hovered around 100 degrees:   

• Blacktop rises to a temperature of 149 degrees.

• Sidewalks rise to a temperature of 143 degrees.

• Sand is a cool 130 degrees.  Now I understand my aversion to walking around barefooted in the summer—who wants blistered feet?

• Want to punish your kids?  Send them down a slide during the summer!  The temperature of a slide rises to 132 degrees.  Talk about warm buns.

• A light colored car warms up to 136 degrees, while a dark colored car is at 168 degrees.  Either way I suspect that it is much warmer inside the actual vehicles.  The wife has helped cool down the house this summer by doing all her baking in the VW Jetta that happens to be a dark blue.  We are getting about six loaves of bread to a gallon of gas!

Yessiree . . . it is hot this summer.  Hotter than most Montanans are used to.  It is so hot that I actually have been hearing people here wishing it was winter in Montana.  The nine months of winter in Montana are the months we endure to enjoy the three months of summer.  That is when you know that folks are getting tired of all this heat and we haven’t even gotten into August yet.  August—the hottest time of the year in Montana!  We all await with great anticipation to see what August brings.  In the meantime we have taken to running through sprinklers, kicking the kids out of the wading pools, and buying out the local grocery store’s supply of ice.  We are making the best of it during an unusually hot, hot summer.  We are surviving, but complaining.

But, as my momma used to say, “This, too, will pass.”  The cold will arrive.  The snow will fly.  We will bundle up and wonder when, oh when, will the summer return?  We Montanans have short memories . . . or our minds got fried in this heat!  If this summer is going to pass I hope it at least creates a breeze . . . anything to stifle this heat!