The Other Side of the Fence

I am kind of proud of myself.  For once I am that person on the other side of the fence that the neighbors envy . . . well, at least some.  After several weeks of drought-like weather, with temperatures averaging in the mid-90s, my yard is still a pretty green. 

I am amazed at how nice the lawn looks in this hot, hot weather compared to some of my neighbors.  Usually it is my yard that looks like something that would be highlighted in Trailer Park Weekly.  I can thank myself—and the extremely high water bill—for this crowning achievement of keeping the grass green this far into the summer.  Typically, by now, I would be cursing the sun and heat for wilting my lawn into straw . . . but not this year!  All that money I saved up for vacation . . . ah, who needs a vacation . . . it’s in the green of my grass.  The wife ain’t happy, but the dogs appreciate not having to squat in straw.

The neighbors to the left and right of our house have taken the approach of letting the grass fend for itself this summer.  Their yards have taken a beating with the only thing thriving being those heat resistant weeds that grow despite the lack of water.  The problem with this is that most of the neighbors—like me—do not have native grasses growing in their yards.  Nope, we all have that wonderful bluegrass growing in our yards.  Bluegrass is a lousy hot weather grass that only responds to constant watering to look good.   This heat burns it up, dries it out, and it eventually becomes dirt—patches of dirt.  It is no fun mowing dirt.  Because it is no fun mowing dirt the neighbors have let it go for the summer to the weeds and dust.  Though they have not said it, I know that they envy my green lawn.

The neighbors to the front and back of the house have lush green grass, but they have water wells to water their lawns.  They do not have to rely upon the town’s water for the greenness of their yards.  I will admit that I envy their yards, while at the same time know that they have an unfair advantage—they’ve got free water.  I am not sure that either of them would go to the great lengths that I have to keep the grass green.  They also have air conditioning and I envy them more for that than having green lawns.  Darn rich people!  Rubbing my nose in their wealth, comfort, and green grass!

At the same time, I have to admit, I really don’t think that the neighbors should envy my yard.  Yeah, this summer the grass is actually greener on my side of the fence, but under closer inspection I think that they would be surprised by what makes up that green ambience—lots of invasive (translate that into weeds) plants!  As I have always stated, if it weren’t for weeds I would have no yard at all!

The truth is that my yard is composed of a variety of plants—not all grass, but a variety of plants.  Not many dandelions this year, but lots of other plants that have found out that the grass is getting water.  These invasive plants want to be a part of the party and have steadily migrated into the yard.  If I were a good keeper of the lawn, I would pluck those boogers out as I went about the business of mowing.  If I did that I would probably lose approximately 75 percent of my yard.  With that in mind I have adopted a new philosophy—if it is green let it be!  Besides—from a distance the yard looks nice—enviable nice!

For the time being I am going to enjoy finally being the one whose grass is greener on the other side of the fence.  This doesn’t happen too often in my life that folks envy me for something.  Usually I am the one on the other side of the fence envying everyone else.  But not this year!  This year I am the one everyone envies . . . I am the one with the green yard!  I even thought about making up one of those “yard of the week” signs and sticking it in the front yard, but our town doesn’t get into that sort of competition as most the yards look my neighbors’ yards.  Yep, I don’t plan to lose this feeling . . . I don’t plan on losing . . . even if I have to go and buy a case of green spray paint to keep the yard green.  I heard that that is what they do in the National Football League and NCAA—they spray paint their fields to give the illusion that they have lush, green fields in the middle of December.  If it is good enough for the big boys, it is good enough for me.  In the meantime, I will continue to bask in the glow of being envied.  Only six to eight more weeks of watering . . . that should just about eliminate next summer’s vacation too.  Thank goodness we have a guest room as I have a feeling that when the wife figures this out that is where I will be sleeping as I bask in my glory!