With the typical Montana winter on awol we Montanans have experienced an unusually warm start to spring. The temperatures lately have been ten to twenty degrees above normal for this time of year. We have been having temperatures in the sixties and even seventies in the past week. This is our normal May and June sort of weather. We Montanans are not used to having summer this early in the year--usually it is mid-July to August before we kick on the air conditioners in our homes and vehicles. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we have had the onslaught of warm weather lately . . . and, for the most part, I appreciate it. Blame it on global warming . . . blame it one a crazy jet stream pattern this year . . . or blame it on the president (Seems he gets blamed for everything anyways!--whatever the cause it has been warmer than usual.
One of the things I appreciate about the climate of Montana is that it allows for a "layering" effect of clothing about nine months of the year--especially in the winter. With layering the questions becomes: Is it fat or is it the layering? No one knows! That is what is nice about winter and the layering of clothing. In the winter I like to wear sweaters, fleece, and sweat shirts to keep me warm and to hide the expanding equator of my waist. With sweaters, fleece, and sweat shirts people have to guess--is it John or is it his clothing? Trust me, I'm never going to tell. I'm never going to tell because the truth is it is more me than the clothing.
The nice thing about layering clothing to keep warm is that it can be removed layer by layer whenever one is too warm. The bad thing about layering clothing is that as the layers disappear the truth appears. The warm weather has been pushing the issue lately. The warm weather has been demanding a switch over to the lighter and thinner clothing of spring and summer. This is not something I am looking forward to as it will expose me for what I have become--the Pillsbury Doughboy! Yeah, I know, that is a scary picture!
This issue brings me to my annual lament--EXERCISE! Just the thought of exercising makes my body hurt and cry out in pain. The idea of adding another hour to my day to put myself through the rigors of exercise has me shutting down in the recliner in front of the television with a bag of chips and a ice cold micro-brew discerning whether or not it is worth the effort. If fashion designers would make spring and summer clothing that could be layered and still provide the necessary cooling for the warmth--shoot, I'd invest millions in that clothing line and keep my figure under wraps all year round! But, they do not. Exercise and dieting come to mind as the only reasonable solution to the problem.
Ouch! Exercise does not sound reasonable. It sounds costly, time consuming, and painful. I think this is something I need to sit back and contemplate a little more . . . besides I still have a six-pack in the refrigerator. Maybe it will snow yet!
Adding to the dilemma is the fact that the warmer weather makes people want to start wearing shorts. It is blinding what we Montanans have to put up with as people begin to wear shorts after a long, cold winter of being covered up. Instead of the threat of snow blindness we have skin blindness. I know I will be among those who are guilty of this offense. My legs are whiter than white after a long, cold winter. It is a scary picture isn't it? Hey, if this weather keeps up the shorts will be out soon and the world will wish that there were laws against such cruel and unusual sight. Yeah, there should be laws against that or at least mandatory sunglasses until mid-June or July when the tans actually begin to happen.
And so it is that I have the "I Can't Believe It's Spring/Summer Blues". I'm sitting in my recliner, sipping my beer and munching my chips humming those warm weather blues. I know what I need to do . . . but the blues sound so good. I guess I will just have to accept it and go with the flow--there is just more of me to love than there was before. Oh winter, where art thou? I miss you!
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