Welcome to Big Old Goofy World . . . a place where I can share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams about this rock that we live on and call home.
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Laugh or Cry--The Weekly News

The news is always good for a few laughs on a slow day.  Today is a slow day.  This week's news does not disappoint . . .


Who says that coffee is addictive?  In Amsterdam the Dutch government is planning to privatize coffee shops for Dutch citizens only.  It seems that the government wants to save the "good stuff" for only the locals.  The "good stuff" isn't a double mocha chocolate latte with two shots--it is marijuana--pot--the wacky tobaccy!  The Dutch allow the legal selling of marijuana over the counter in coffee shops.  Can anyone say, "Killing two birds with one stone"?  I don't think that Folgers ever dreamed of this sort of coffee buzz.

Apparently this legalized practice has become popular among the tourists.  The Dutch Justice Ministry has stated that this interest has created a "nuisance and criminality associated with coffee shops and drug trafficking."  Opponents to this policy change have declared it "tourism suicide."  Opponents envision a growing black market if the law is kept as tourists--and locals--hit the streets for their coffee and pot.  "Coffee pot" sort of takes on new meaning--gotta have that morning pick me up!


The grumbling is intensifying over light bulbs here in the United States.  As of January 2012, the traditional 100-watt incandescent light bulb will be contraband.  According to the Wall Street Journal people are not happy about the switch--the new bulbs are more expensive, give skin a corpse-like pallor, and contain a trace amount of the toxic element mercury.  The real issue is freedom--not conservation or ecology--but the freedom to choose.  Most Americans prefer traditional light bulbs, which has created a rash of "civil disobedience" as folk stockpile the incandescent light bulbs.  The paper argues that if the new fluorescent are so superior, "why does the government have to force people to buy them?"

Also, we can quit blaming President Obama for this change in light bulb policy.  The guy actually has nothing to do with it--he's in the dark on this one.  The policy was signed into law in 2007 by President George W. Bush.  This is just another fine mess in Bush's legacy--we always knew he sat in the dark!


It seems the bright lights of the city are not as attractive and alluring as they used to be.  The New York Times reports that despite all the talk about people moving back to the big cities the reality is much different.  According to the Times more than 91 percent of population growth in U.S. metropolitan areas between 2000 and 2010 occurred in suburbs rather than in city cores.  Today more than 60 percent of Americans live in the suburbs.  That might explain the traffic congestion I experience on my commute from Joliet to the big city--suburban sprawl that creates a crawl!



A study by ScienceDaily.com proves once and for all that the color red is a "power" color.  The report claims that the color red makes us stronger and faster--at least momentarily.  The study conducted on students from elementary school through college showed that there was an improvement in muscular performance.  Also, humans are hardwired to pick up on red "as a danger cue," states the study's author Andrew Elliot--thus there is a mental toll.  Previous studies have shown that athletes facing a red-clad team tend to lose.  Now I know why my beloved University of Nebraska Cornhusker football team--affectionately known as "Big Red"--has been so successful and dominate.  All these years I thought it was because of the athletic superiority, hard physical training, excellent coaching, awesome training facilities, and teamwork . . . now I know that it wasn't any of that stuff . . . it is because people are scared of red!  Go Big Red!


On the political scene Americans speak out about politicians' morals--or lack of!  In a poll conducted by the Pew Research Center for the Washington Post, 57 percent of Americans say politicians get caught in sex scandals because they are under greater scrutiny than everyone else.  Another 19 percent say it's because politicians have "lower moral standards than ordinary Americans."  I kind of lean towards the 19 percent--we're talking politics here where morals seem to be the fine print that no one reads.  The other is just an excuse.



Lastly, the closet dilemma is solved!  Esty.com reports that in 1930 the average woman owned nine outfits.  Today, thanks primarily to the lower price of garments made abroad in low wage nations, women purchase more than 60 pieces of new clothing a year.  This is why the wife owns 75 percent of all the available closet space in the house--not just the bedroom!  I used to think that it was a figment of my imagination--this discrepancy in space--that my side of the closet was smaller and more cramped,but now I know it is true.  The wife tells me that possession is 9/10ths of the law!

Until next week's news I plan on sitting around in my bright red long-johns, next to my fluorescent light bulb, sipping my coffee pot, as I contemplate whether or not politicians even matter, moving to the suburbs, or just taking a nap.  Until next week--laugh.  Laugh because life is to short to waste on the news!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Ya Gotta Laugh--This Week's News


It was reported that a Chinese teenager sold his own kidney to buy and iPad.  The 17-year old, identified only as Little Zheng, says that he was paid around $3,000 for his kidney with all surgical expenses thrown in for free.  The teen then used the money to fulfill his dream of owning the popular Apple tablet computer as well as a laptop.  I always thought of Chinese youth as being smart and astute, but I am wondering about Little Zheng . . . the kid got taken to the cleaners on this one!  According to Havocscope Black Market (http://www.havocscope.com/black-market-prices/organs-kidneys/), an online database of black market activities, the average price for a kidney (world-wide) is $150,000 with the seller averaging $5,000.  In the United States the average price for a black market kidney is $30,000--in China it is $87,000 to purchase a kidney on the black market.  According to this website the average price a seller in China gets is $15,000.  So why in the world did this kid settle for a mere $3,000?  Sometimes youth do impulsive things to get what they want.  Haven't we all said, "I'd give my left kidney for that", when we really wanted something we couldn't afford?  The kid needs to stay awake in his economics class--he could have bought a lot of iPads for what others were willing to pay for a kidney.


Seems that the black market for organs isn't the only place where the big bucks are getting bigger.  Last year airlines hauled in $21.5 billion from charges for add-on fees such as checked baggage, food, and buying a little more leg room.  According to CBSMoneyWatch.com that is a 38 percent jump in revenue from such fees in a year.  Whatever happened to "flying the friendly skies"?  I understand that they will be adding pay toilets to the planes by the end of the summer.  This will probably be the next evolution of the snack on flights:


We Americans have finally caught up with the French and passed them.  The Chicago Tribune reports that last year, for the first time ever, Americans annual consumption of wine surpassed that of France.  I'll raise a glass to that!  But, hold on, don't go popping the corks yet!  That is in quantity--the French still beat us Americans in per capita.  When it comes to wine consumption the French still drink us Americans under the table.  The population of the United States is almost five times as large as France's and we used it to our advantage.  Now if they wanted to talk beer, well, Montana by itself could give France a good run for its money!


On the health scene . . .


They say that commuting can be bad for your health.  Commuting can cause back problems, stress, obesity, and mind-numbing from having to listen to Lady Gaga over and over again on the radio.  Now you can add divorce to the list!  A study in Sweden says that couples are 40 percent more likely to split up if one partner has a daily commute of longer than 45 minutes each way.  Thank goodness I only have about a 35 to 40 minute commute into the big city!  I think that my marriage is going to make it!  Now if I could only find some way to prevent the mind-numbing that comes with the radio life would be good.


I always knew work would eventually kill me.  There is a new report that states that work is making us American workers obese.  According to the report the American obesity epidemic may have less to do with what we eat than with what we do all day.  Work is less active than it used to be 50 years ago.  Today only one in five workers puts in physically demanding hours, as opposed to one in two in 1960.  This means we are burning an average of  up to 140 calories less per day.  The bottom line is we are less active in what we do for work.  Boy, that was great news for me . . . I thought that I would have to give up my two donuts a day habit!  Besides, they make pants that stretch!

And, finally, this last information just proves that it is never too early to get started . . . Matt and Ellie Greene of Whitehouse, Texas, made a Facebook profile for their daughter--Marriah--even though she has yet to be born.  Marriah already has 268 friends!  I have been on Facebook for two years now and I am only up to 70 friends!  If I didn't laugh, I'd have to cry.  I think I'll go have a donut!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

In the News

Time for a little news from around the world . . . 



Well, I missed the wedding--I was asleep, but it is difficult to miss the news that Prince William and the Duchess Catherine seem to make.  I guess they recently returned from their ten-day honeymoon in the Seychelles islands--wherever that is--in which they rented a private island for a mere $70,000 a day.  The total cost for their honeymoon was nearly three-quarters of a million dollars according to the London Daily Mail.  I wonder what one gets for $70,000 a day in accommodations?  I mean I know what I get when I pay $120 for a room at the Holiday Inn--free cable television, internet service, a bottle of water, a microwave, small refrigerator, an alarm clock that blinks all night long, and several choices of pillows (hard or soft).  That is quite a deal for $120 a night, but imagine what a person could get for $70,000!  I bet they didn't get free wake-up calls or a continental breakfast and a free copy of USA Today.  I bet that they didn't even notice that they spent almost more money on their ten-day honeymoon than thirty average British citizens earn in a year!  I guess that is why they are calling it a "fairytale" wedding and marriage.

But some good did come out of the royal wedding as there is now a movement to beautify Britain--one butt at a time. According to London's Daily Star there has been a sixty percent boom in requests for "bottom-enhancement" procedure from women who are seeking a rear end like the Duchesses sister, Pippa Middleton.    According to a Dr. Lesley Khan of London Kate's sister has bumped the Jennifer Lopez look out the door as British women are seeking the perfect posterior.  Dr.Khan states: ". . .now everyone asks for a bottom like Pippa's--curvy but not too peachy."  Here, here to the beautification of England!!

 The "perfect" ending?

Meanwhile, up north in Canada, a couple has decided to keep their newborn child's gender a secret.  Their reason for this is that they want to make the world a "more progressive place."  It seems that David and Stocker and Kathy Witterick believe that their child--Storm--should be able to decide his or her own gender based on something else besides the equipment he or she was issued.  They have told the press that when the four-month old Storm is ready to reveal his or her gender it will be based on what the child decides and not what a physical feature determines.  They want people to Storm for who Storm is and not based on some "obnoxious" notion of the child's genitalia.  Stocker said, "If you want to get to know someone you don't ask what's between their legs."  In the meantime no one knows . . . it will probably be a couple of years before Storm says.

Who really cares?  The kid is a cutie!

In Texas the legislature reverse a long-standing ban on "noodling".  No, "noodling" is not making noodles for the local church's annual chicken and noodles dinner.  "Noodling" is the practice of catching catfish by hand--usually by allowing the catfish to swallow the hand.  The legislature decided that it is a God-given right for any person who wants to risk his or her digits to catch a catfish to go for it.  State Senator Bob Deuell stated, "I personally don't noodle, but I would defend to the death your right to do so."  Wouldn't it just be cheaper to go to Long John Silvers or Red Lobster and order the fish off the menu?  That is the way I fish and I still have all my fingers!



Then there was the news about the guy in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, who ate his 25,000th McDonald's Big Mac.  Don Gorske proclaimed, "I plan on eating Big Macs until I die." A Big Mac has 576 calories, 32.5 grams of fat, 103mg of cholesterol, 742mg of sodium, and 38.7 grams of carbohydrates--a well balanced meal and this guy eats two every day for lunch. I'd say he is getting close realizing his dream!

What a big old goofy world we live in!  This stuff can't be made up!  Suddenly I feel the urge for a Big Mac after I have my rear end re-proportioned while staying at the local Holiday Inn.