Basking

Okay . . . I admit it.  For years I have envied my dogs’ ability to discover the gift of a moment.  To be present in an opportunity.  I have envied, but more importantly admired their ability and willingness to carpe diem—“seize the moment”.

This epiphany came unexpectedly as I was sitting in my recliner.  Quinn, our mini-Dachshund, was cuddled in my lap snoozing away . . . enjoying the warmth of my lap and the sun shining through the picture window.  She was basking in the warmth of it all.  Basking . . . to lie exposed to warmth and light for relaxation and pleasure.  She looked so comfortable, so peaceful, so oblivious to the outside world . . . some sort of blissful nirvana.  She looked asleep.  In that moment of recognition, I realized that I was jealous.  Jealous of my canine’s ability to bask.

 

Of course, the envy was ridiculous on my part.  Ever since retiring it has been difficult to let loose a lifetime habit based on a schedule of labor.  A month into retirement I find it difficult to relax, let loose, and just be in the moment.  I no longer have a schedule dictating my waking moments.  I no longer must be anywhere.  I am no longer responsible for people or projects.  I am not obligated.  I realize that but it is hard to let go of hard-wired habits.  Freedom was there.  I can do whatever I want within the boundaries set by my spouse.  So, pretty much, I was free.  Free to even bask if I want.

 

The epiphany didn’t end with a realization of my envy . . . no, it ended with an ironic awareness that lying back in my recliner, sun coming through the window warmly, caressing my body . . . I was basking!  In fact, I have been basking for a week or two now.  Lying back, pup in lap, relishing the sun’s warmth.  For a couple of weeks now the sun’s light has been shining through and perfectly striking my chair bathing it in soothing warmth.  And I have been basking.

 

Basking . . . it is wonderful!  Lying there in the sunshine, soaking in the warmth, and relaxed.  I’d roll over on my back, but I’m already there.  I’d pull my shirt up to expose my belly, but there would be those who oppose . . . in particular, my wife . . . that’s going too far.  It would be nice though if someone would rub my belly like I rub my dogs’.  Ain’t going to happen.  So, I bask. What I have noticed from observing my dogs is that a good bask results in a state of sleep.

 

Sleeping . . . the ultimate state of basking.  It is true.  The art of basking provides moments of blissful sleep when done right.  I saw it with my dogs and experienced it for myself.  Can’t complain about it because it is wonderful to catch a few Zs in the warmth of sunshine.  The pups know it and I now know it.

 

Unfortunately, the bliss of basking is short-lived—at least for me.  Apparently in a recliner I am both a restless and noisy napper.  I guess I’m not as relaxed as I think I am.  My legs twitch and wiggle.  I snore.  I always have whenever I am sleeping on my back.  It really doesn’t bother me.  Quinn, our mini-Dachshund, on the other hand, finds this annoying.  She lifts her head, stares at me with a look that says, “What the hell!”  Kind of messes up her basking.  Mine, too.  Now I am self-conscious.  Embarrassed.  For me, the basking is done . . . pups come first.

 

But I’ll take it.  Though short in duration it is worth the self-conscious embarrassment brought on by a ten-pound wiener dog.  Basking is wonderful and I should have been practicing it my whole life.  Everyone should bask.  Everyone should lay, exposed to the warmth and light of the sun.  It is relaxing.  It is pleasurable.  Comforting.  Peaceful.  Calming.  A wonderful respite from the craziness of the world we live in.

 

In the future, as we transition through the seasons, do not be alarmed if I move my basking around from the recliner in the living room to the rocker on the deck to the laying in the backyard grass . . . tummy exposed. Waiting.  Waiting for someone to come and rub my tummy.  Nirvana at its best.  It works for my pups . . . so why not me?      

 

Deranged! Delusional! You Tell Me

Crap!  I had hoped to get through the winter without getting sick, and outside of my recent surgery I thought I was doing great.  Then some stranger pointed out that I was suffering from T.D.S.  It sounded serious.  Kind of icky.  The person sounded certain that I had T.D.S. and was “probably an unbearable person.” Sounds bad, doesn’t it?  Something no one would ever want to come down with . . . but this individual was certain I had T.D.S. 

Once I got over the shock of learning I was inflicted with T.D.S., I decided I should probably know what the heck T.D.S. is in the first place.

 

T.D.S.—uh oh!  Gotta a problem.  There’s two!  Which one afflicts me?

 

Trump Derangement Syndrome.  “This is a term describing an alleged, extreme, and irrational emotional or cognitive reaction to Donald Trump’s actions, policies, or public presence often characterized by intense hostility, paranoia, or instability to distinguish policy differences from personality.”  It is primarily used as a put down or insult to describe severe opposition to Trump.  It is not a medical condition but those who throw the term around like to imply a mental illness . . . yet it is not a legitimate mental illness that can be found in the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s (A.P.A.) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM5).

 

Trump Delusional Syndrome.  “In this disorder the victim has lost the ability to perceive the factual information related to Donald Trump, instead believing the lies and distortions presented by Trump and his supporters about his behavior.”  Again, it is not a medical condition.  Those who like to throw it around like to imply that it is a mental illness though it, too, is not listed in the DSM5.

 

Deranged or delusional?  I am certain, from the individual’s statement that the diagnosis leans towards the “deranged” side of the syndrome.  Let me explain.

 

It all started when I responded to a clergy friend’s post on Facebook.  This friend re-posted Tyson Durfey’s original post about an evening that he had the opportunity to spend a couple of hours with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem and her husband after a Trump rally.  They spoke about faith, family, and some politics which left him impressed to the point that he thanked God for her leadership.  In his opinion she was a person of faith . . . a lover of God . . . and that she put family first.  According to Durfey she is the sort of leader America needs.

 

Durfey admits that he is just an “old cowboy” . . . and he is.  He is also a world champion cowboy having made his living competing in rodeos in the U.S. and Canada.  Now he is retired from the rodeo circuit and a successful entrepreneur.  Look him up on Facebook.  Like most of us he obviously has opinions.

 

Because my friend is a ministerial colleague I questioned Durfey’s Facebook post and endorsement of Kristi Noem based on “faith and family”.  My question was about how we (clergy) endorse and support a person who has come out to the public and admitted that she is married and dating another married man.  Isn’t that cheating?  Doesn’t this (adultery) go against God and God’s will?  How is this good family values?  I wrote: “I think Durfey needs to clean his glasses off and take a close look at what he admires.  What do you think?”  Mind you, I was posting this to my clergy friend to in an attempt to understand.

 

Hoping to hear from my friend and have a conversation, the response to my statement came from another person . . . a stranger . . . A.W.  His post stated that my inquiry was a load of B.S., that I have T.D.S., and are probably an “unbearable person”.  Because of this I determined that he thinks my syndrome leans into the “deranged” realm.

 

I appreciate A.W.’s response even though my inquiry was addressed directly to my friend—no one else.  Of course, because of my syndrome, I couldn’t resist responding to A.W.’s post.  I responded: “Adultery is unacceptable in the Christian faith . . . that is B.S.?”  Still waiting for a snappy response.  He might want to check out his T.D.S.—on the delusional side.

 

That, my friends, is how I came about my condition . . . my illness . . . my supposed mental illness.  Yes, mental illness.  A bill was introduced in Congress by Republican House Representative Warren Davidson (R-OH) seeking the National Institutes of Health to study T.D.S. (derangement side only).  Look it up.  In the Minnesota legislature five Republican state representatives introduced a bill to have T.D.S. (again, only on the deranged side) defined as a form of mental illness.  I thought I was just pissed off . . . pissed off with tRump . . . pissed off with his handling of our nation . . . pissed off with his cruelty . . . pissed off with his revenge tour.  Pissed off.  Angry . . . but mentally ill . . . I don’t think so!  Whatever the case, what I have has a name, I have T.D.S.

I will live.  It is not a life-threatening curse unless some other person with T.D.S. (the delusional kind) goes off the deep end and takes me out of my misery.  There is no known cure except for losing one’s mind and jumping over to the delusional side. That would be deemed a glorious day . . . a miraculous day . . . by my MAGA associates.  Yet, there are some long-shot solutions to the syndrome:

·        With the president’s self-proclaimed “excellent health” he could suddenly die.

·        The Senate and House could flip in the mid-term elections and they impeach the president.

·        And there are some more gruesome scenarios of which I would not endorse despite how pissed off I am.

 

No matter what, I have T.D.S.  I am deranged.  Of course, those who have diagnosed me with the syndrome are probably suffering from the delusional form.  They might want to check the mirror.  Almost feels as if the whole nation is afflicted with some form of T.D.S. right now.  We are all suffering.  This individual is killing our nation, our Constitution, and us as citizens of what was once a great nation.  Because of it we are all suffering from some form of this syndrome. 

At first the diagnosis scared me, but not anymore.  If people want to describe my anger as a syndrome . . . then fine.  Bottom line is that I am pissed.  Pissed that the president is a despicable, immoral, vengeful, cruel human being who only seeks power and control for himself and his cronies.  Pissed that he has gutted our government, destroyed years of equality and justice, destroyed sacred institutions and values, and fed us a line that this is a “bigger and better” America than we have ever had before.  Pissed that inflation is quickly rising, affordability is a joke, and that our national debt is skyrocketing, nothing is affordable or livable.  Pissed that he has brought back every “ism” . . . white nationalism, racism . . . if it isn’t in his image we are to hate it.  I’m pissed and if you want to call it T.D.S.—fine, just make sure you classify it as the “derangement” version”.  I can justify that.  I could never justify T.D.S.—the “delusional” version—because of the overwhelming evidence that is available showing how far gone this president has gone.  That would be unacceptable and immoral.  I am not delusional, I am pissed . . . I mean, deranged!  This is a big part of why we are where we are today . . . Trump Derangement/Delusional Syndrome.

So . . . I have T.D.S.  Now I have a label and a name for being pissed off at tRump.  Who would have thought?  Be careful it is starting to become contagious.

 

Snow Envy

Around here people don’t talk too much about it . . . especially this year.  But it is there lurking in the background just biding its time to make a grand entrance into the conversation.  In a typical year it wouldn’t even be an issue.  The problem is that this hasn’t been a “typical” year.  Far from it and because of that everyone has been tiptoeing around saying it . . . we’ve got a bad case of “snow envy”. 

Two-thirds of the way through January and we have had an irregular winter—warmer than usual temperatures and a lack of snow.  No one has hardly had to shovel this year as there has been no snow to shovel.  It has been downright balmy and pleasant to the point that plants and trees are confused . . . plants that should be dormant are sprouting and growing and some trees are even budding . . . they think its springtime.  I haven’t even put away my shorts from the summer because I am still working on that tan.  If this keeps up I’ll need to mow my grass before the start of February.

 

And no one is saying anything . . . well, almost no one.  Farmers and ranchers are always moaning and groaning about the weather.  Can’t please that group of people when it comes to the weather.  It is either “too much” or “not enough”.  They are never satisfied.  If they got the “perfect” weather, I hope that everyone is prepared for the Second Coming because it is going to be a miraculous event.  This year even the farmers and ranchers have a major case of “snow envy”.

 

Since the political leaders in charge deny it, we can’t blame it on climate change.  But something is up creating this situation.  The weather has shifted and gone east.  The weather being experienced in the east as a historic catastrophe is our typical Montana weather.  All that snow and cold those Easterners are experiencing is our normal.  In our balmy environment we sit back in envy witnessing perfectly good winter weather pound the east knowing that they have little to no appreciation of the gift they are receiving.  What was once ours is now theirs. It is making us jealous and filled with “snow envy”.

The normal expectation around here is that there is snow and lots of it by now.  Instead, we have the false spring.  No snow.  No ice.  No shoveling.  No complaining (at least not out loud). Here in Montana snow is important to our environmental health and our image.  The mountain snowpack dictates our snowmelt which flows into our rivers and streams to keep everything green . . . and fireproofed. Without it we have problems, especially with wildfires.  At the rate we are going it is beginning to look like we are going to have a long fire season.  Lots of fire and smoke.

 

Normally I wouldn’t have “snow envy”.  I am not a “snow worshipper”.  I appreciate the snow.  I understand its importance and role in the bigger picture of things, especially in Montana.  Snow is important.  A necessary evil.  Remember, snow is a four-letter word.  That being said, I want people to understand that like everyone else I get tired of snow.  Tired of shoveling it.  Tired of scraping it off my car.  Tired of piling it up.  After one or two good snows, like everyone else, I have had enough.  Like everyone else at that point I too curse the snow. Outside of one good shoveling so far this year I haven’t had the opportunity to pull out my lament of snow profane snow cursing.

 

I miss the snow.

 

I am envious of those who live east of Montana who have been receiving what was rightfully ours.  Send it back.  We have plenty of room for it.  We can accommodate it.  Appreciate it.  Handle it.  We are used to it.  We miss our snow.

 

There . . . I have said it out loud.  Someone had to say it . . . someone had to get the ball rolling.  Saying it out loud should get us some snow (knock on the wooden snow shovel handle).  May the words I have spoken magically float to the heavens imploring Mother Nature to get back to business as usual . . . dump the snow on us!  Now that it has been spoken . . . acknowledged, may it come to be.  We are ready to pay the price.  “Snow envy” does not look good on us.  Let it snow!!!