Civil War?

 Prior to the actual election one side of the political divide spoke of the possibility of civil war in our nation depending upon the outcome.  This was not a one-time, shoot off at the mouth occurrence.  This threat has been floating around for several years hinting at the divisiveness across the country.  Thankfully that scenario did not play out as the perpetrators of this threat won out in the election.  Civil war was averted, though those on the losing side still aren’t sure how to respond to their defeat . . . they are still attempting to figure out what went wrong.  I am certain that they will not rise up in violence . . . they just want to know what went wrong.

There has been a lot written and said about this election and its outcome.  There are lots of theories and opinions about the outcome but name an election where this is not the standard case.  As Americans we have to place the blame on someone or some group.  That just feeds into the real problem and doesn’t even come close to solving the crisis at hand.  That is what it is . . . a crisis.

 

This crisis is destroying us as a nation . . . as a community.  Ironically this demise was predicted.  Nearly 200 years ago a young Frenchman, Alexis de Tocqueville, visited America and traveled throughout for a year interviewing its citizens.  He wanted to figure out what made this nation so unique and special.  The book he wrote was Democracy in America.  Basically, he discovered that individualism was the foundation upon which the nation was born and made and makes America great.  He also believed that this characteristic would also be the demise of America . . . its downfall.  Americans see themselves as “a special creation, set apart from other humans” according to Tocqueville.  This would be the death of America.

 

Fast-forward to 1985 . . . a sociological study is published by a team of sociologists led by Robert N. Bellah titled Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life.  Underlying this study is whether or not Tocqueville’s prophecy was accurate.  What they discovered as they conducted their own interviews across the country was that Tocqueville was right.  That which made America great at the start was now destroying it.  Individualism was squashing the nation . . . the community.

 

This brings us to today.

 

Harvard ethics professor Christopher Robichaud nails it on the head in an article he wrote about the election.  He states that the problem with the election results does not lie upon any single individual, group, or process.  That’s just the good ol’ American way of placing the blame to make ourselves feel better.  Someone once said that the favorite pastime in American is denial.  Robichaud bluntly puts the crisis squarely upon everyone.  It is the culture, and we are all a part of our nation’s culture.  It is a culture that focuses upon the individual over the community . . . at all costs.  “American, culturally, has completely abandoned a politics of decency and respect and has instead a politics of resentment, revenge, false nostalgia, and bullying,” writes Robichaud.  Individualism rules the day.  My way or the highway.  It is our culture just as Tocqueville predicted nearly 200 years ago.  It is the American culture.

 

Sadly, if we are going to survive as a nation . . . as a community . . . there needs to be a war.  Not a civil war, but “civility war”.  Civility is the way that people treat one another . . .acknowledgement, respect, politeness, courtesy.  The Golden Rule—treat one another as you would want to be treated.  If we are going to be a great nation, then we need to embrace civility.  Without it . . . well, look around . . . we get what we have right now.  A real crisis.  More profanely yet accurately stated, a shit show.  It must stop if we are going to survive as a nation and community.

 

As much as I want to rant and rave about having lost in my electoral preferences, I realize that it is not going to change a thing.  In the end it just compounds the crisis.  Enough is enough.  It is quite apparent that as a nation we don’t all agree.  We want what we think is best for ourselves.  Because of this we have embraced an “us and them” mentality in which our opposition is less than human, demonic, evil and worthy of debasement . . . even the threat of death.  We witnessed this from all sides in this election.  No one is innocent.  We embraced it as a nation.  We have to quit pretending to be “nice” to secure our way.  This is individualism at its most stinky level.  Two hundred years in the making and it must stop.

 

We need to demand from our leaders and ourselves—civility—the Golden Rule.  We must declare war on incivility and meanness.  It won’t be easy because we have had over 200 years of slowly allowing this practice of debasement to control our lives.  It won’t change or happen overnight . . . it will take generations resolved on changing to make it happen.  But we must begin.  Begin right now, where we are . . . in our relationship within families, communities, states, and nation.  Even in the world.  We must embrace the Golden Rule and learn to treat others as we would want to be treated—with love and respect.  We must embrace the good for all over the good for the individualism.  We must be community and hang on tight to that common unity.  We must roll up our sleeves and start the work of claiming our nation back.  It is going to take time, but we can begin where we are . . . eventually the scale will be tipped toward this better way.

 

The time has come to demand that enough is enough.  It is the only way any of us—all of us—winning or losing side—are going to survive.  I truly believe it.  You might think I’m full of malarkey . . . that I am way off base . . . a dreamer.  But you know what, I am not the only one.  I know that there are others who believe as I do.  As John Lennon so aptly wrote:

 

You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one

I hope someday you’ll join u

And the world will live as one

(Imagine, John Lennon, 1971)

 

That is my prayer.

Wondering

Wondering is mental wandering.  I like to wonder . . . I like to ponder . . . And, I have been known to wander.  It is always an adventure that leads to who knows where.  Usually nowhere important.  As I get older wondering and wandering is how I get most of my exercise—mentally and physically.

Some of my recent wondering:

 

--How come no one puts raisins in brownies?  My family made faces and laughed when I suggested this.  Raisinets—chocolate covered raisins—are the third-largest selling candy in the United States history.  It makes sense . . . chocolate brownies . . . raisins.  The best of both worlds.  All I get is laughter . . . yet, I wonder.

 

--How come they put turn signals on motor vehicles since no one seems to use them?

 

--Why do church signs proclaim, “all are welcomed” and Sunday mornings are the most segregated time in during the week?

 

--Does the hair I lose through balding migrate to other parts of my body?  Parts where I don’t want it . . . like my ears, nose, and back.  Or is this just hair that is late bloomers?

 

--According to research, picking one’s nose is the number one activity for people while driving.  How come they never report the number of accidents caused by nose-picking but for everything else?  I imagine that looking at one’s cell phone while driving has bumped nose-picking as the number one activity while driving.  Imagine the number of accidents that would happen if people did both while driving.  Just wondering.

 

--Why do I always find a better deal on a product right after I purchase it?

 

--How come companies that sell potting soil don’t charge extra for all those pesky little flying gnats that spring to life once the bag is open?  Is it a perk?

 

--Why is it that the dogs always have to lay on my side of the bed . . . lay on my pillow?  How come they never lay on the wife’s side or pillow?

 

--How come women can wear pants with the legs that come to their ankles and they are told that they are “cute” and “fashionable”, but if men wear pants like that they are laughed at and made fun of . . . asked, “Where’s the flood?”

 

--Why is it when my grandchildren “toot” it is cute, but if Papa “toots” it is a major offense that clears the room?

 

--Whenever the grandkids visit, Nana’s treasure chest of Barbies is the “go to” toy.  But I have often wondered why—if Barbie is so popular—that we must keep buying her friends?

 

--How come we never ask our doctors where they ranked in their graduating class?  Remember half of them were in the bottom half.

 

--If I get a new car for my spouse, would it be a fair trade?

 

I have discovered that most people don’t appreciate it when I let my mind wander.  I think they see it as a sign of senility.  About the only ones who appreciate it are my grandchildren, but they also enjoy my “dad jokes”. They enjoy my random brain farts . . . most because they think farts are funny.  Whatever . . . it’s great exercise for my mind.  Some elders do crossword puzzles to stay sharp, I wonder.

 

We all do.

 

Some of us just aren’t afraid to admit it.  I wonder as I wander . . . but I always make it home.  I always leave the light on.  Of course, that doesn’t always mean that there is anyone at home.  That is a risk one takes when wondering.