Argh! Never-ending Snow!

Day 100 . . .

. . . the snow continues to fall.  The wife swears that we have had snowy weather since Christmas.  I just swear.  The truth is that we have been on a winter tear for at least two weeks.  There have been sub-zero temperatures, snow . . . lots of snow . . . easily over two feet of snow since this weather jag has hit.  The snow just keeps piling up . . . and up . . . and up.  It feels like it has been snowing forever.

 

When it all began it was pretty.  It was pastoral.  A regular Currier and Ives painting.  Awe inspiring.  Now it is just . . . “Aw, shit!  More snow!”  Eventually we all must admit that “snow” is a four-letter word that takes its place among the most profane utterances when winter comes.  No longer is the snow pretty, pastoral, or even a beautiful Currier and Ives painting . . . it is a regretful sigh of defeat.  The snow is winning.

 

Though the snow has created its wintry chaos, we Montanans shouldn’t complain.  Snow has been needed . . . well, maybe not the snow but the moisture.  Montana needed the moisture as we had been moisture depleted for quite some time.  Parts of the state have been in drought.  The state has had some difficult fire seasons for a couple of years.  The snow and snowpack will go a long way in remedying that.  Our snowpack will be tremendous . . . way above normal at this rate.  The ski resorts are basking in snow drunkenness.  Montana needs it . . . we just didn’t need it all at once.  I guess Mother Nature got tired of all the whining and complaining.  You know what they say, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

 

As an introvert the snow hasn’t upset my world too much.  In fact, it basically reinforced the solitude that we introvert value so much.  It is quiet.  There are no people intruding.  It is perfect.  Though I revel in this idyllic paradise I know that this is not the case for my extravert family and friends.  What started as a peaceful interlude with the first snowflakes falling has become a living hell for extraverts.  The snow is killing them.

 

The snow is taking its toll on the extraverts.  They are becoming stir-crazy.  It is driving them nuts.  They are getting surly . . . grumpy . . . snippy.  They need people.  They need action and activity.  They need human contact.  They need engagement.  They need noise.  This is killing them.  Their routine has been disrupted.  The misery is real.  I know.  My wife is an extravert, and she is wallowing in despair.

 

My wife is not one for profane and descriptive outbursts.  This morning with great disdain in her voice she proclaimed, “Shit!  This is crap!”  The snow just kept falling.  She is a cheerful, bubbly optimist but the veneer cracked.  As far as she is concerned, enough is enough!  Mother Nature needs to tale a valium and get over it . . . crack another bottle of wine.  Needless to say, I’m taking precautions . . . at least until the snow abates and she can escape this frozen cell to freedom.  One person’s paradise is another person’s hell.  Trust me, I know.

 

As idyllic as it might be for me, I will admit that it ain’t perfect.  Nope . . . far from it.  With snow comes shoveling.  This year, lots of shoveling.  Most of the time I enjoy shoveling snow.  I appreciate the routine . . . it is almost a form of meditation . . . scoop, throw, scoop, throw.  I like seeing the end product of clean walks and driveway . . . a job well-done. That was ten inches of snow ago.  Now it is a PITA (Google it.)  The routine has changed . . . scoop, groan, swear, throw.  Repeat . . . over and over.  I have nowhere to put the snow.  The snow piles have gotten so massive and tall that I can’t throw the snow over.  Who knew that four-foot piles could be insurmountable!  The shoveling has sent shivers of profane grumpiness throughout my introverted paradise.

 

Our dogs have taken different approaches to the winter havoc.  Birdie—our Border Collie/Corgi mix—embraces the winter deluge.  She loves snow.  She relishes the cold and sits on the deck surveying her winter wonderland as temperatures dip below zero.  This is her domain . . . her world.  Our nine-pound miniature Dachshund hates it.  With snow well-over her head each trip out is an adventure in survival for Quinn.  Most excursions end mere yards from the deck with her hastily taking care of business.  Where Birdie has a double coat of hair for such weather, the mighty Quinn is practically hairless.

 

 Because the snow in the yard has reached epic portions of depth—two to three feet deep, I scoop out a maze around the yard with port areas for doggie business.  The problem is that the paths are constantly filling up with more snow.  When Quinn runs the maze, you can’t even see her because the snow is so deep.  Such is the curse of having short dogs.

 

Yup . . . it feels like it has been forever snowing . . . 100 days.  This too shall pass . . . about June.  Weather forecasters are calling for warmer weather by the end of the week with temperatures in the 30s and 40s.  With all the snow cover it will be more like the 20s and 30s—shorts weather in Montana.  In the meantime, I will tread softly in my introverted paradise, keep space between me and the extraverts, practice my swearing for the inevitable shoveling, and be thankful that we humans have the great capacity to forget.  Come mid-summer we will be complaining that it is too hot and it sure would be nice to have a little snow right about now.

 

Even Introverts Gotta Play

My introversion kicked in today at work . . . I had had enough.  It was time to drop out.  I have been working non-stop for the past four weeks at both of my jobs . . . every single day for the past month . . . and, unfortunately, I still have another two weeks to go before I might get a whole day in which I am not doing one of my two jobs.  Both my jobs involve interacting and being present to PEOPLE.  People drain introverts . . . and, around 11:00AM this morning, I had had enough.  My body started to shut down.  My mind was becoming muddled and muddied.  I was tired . . . worn out . . . at the end of my rope.  So, I took the afternoon off . . . a small reprieve before finishing this marathon of extraversion that started a month ago and will end in another two weeks.

I realize that most of you who are extraverts won’t understand this, but that is one of the major differences between extraverts and introverts.  Extraverts are energized by people . . . introverts are drained.  It is not that we introverts dislike people, it is that we just prefer and need our alone time.  That is where we introverts get our energy . . . that is where we find our groove . . . that is where we find what we really love doing.  It is just the way we are wired.  Unfortunately, it has been a long, long time since I have had my “alone” time.

I was reminded of this in an article that appeared in the “lifestyle” section of MSN.com talking about 22 Fun Activities for Introverts.  I’m kind of a sucker when it comes to articles about introversion . . . especially when it is something that might be helpful; so, I read the article.  True to its title the article (by an introvert I am assuming) listed 22 activities that introverts would probably enjoy.  Of the 22 activities, I am solidly embedded into six of them: photography; writing; solitary outdoor activities (hiking, bird watching, etc.); reading; traveling alone; and, when I was more physically active—running.  These are six things that I enjoy doing alone . . . doing by myself.  Of the 22 suggested activities, I am involved in approximately 25 percent of them.  The others I had a little more difficulty with.

Now, keep in mind, these are activities to be done alone . . . by one’s self.  The 16 activities I do not do:

• ·      --Listening to podcasts.  I have listened to podcasts, but I have not made it a regular part of my “alone” . . . probably because I feel as if they are a lot like a telephone call or a one-sided conversation.  I have a good friend in Michigan who loves podcasts and is a BIG introvert.

• ·        Get artsy . . . draw, paint, and so forth.  The wife got all the artistic skills in the family . . . I mainly draw conclusions and paint myself into corners.  Not much “artsy” in my bones or DNA.

• ·        Learn to play a musical instrument . . . if it is not the “play” button to my Zune, it ain’t going to happen.  I have attempted to learn musical instruments in the past, but I have no sense of rhythm and a person has to have rhythm to play an instrument.  I admire those who can play instruments.

• ·        Cook or bake . . . I can do both . . . fairly well; but, cooking and baking is not something I find relaxing or entertaining . . . it is something I do out of necessity and survival.  If something happened to the wife, I will continue to exist on something more than cereal.

• ·        Create a YouTube channel . . . actually I have one.  I created it when I needed a place to place a few Carol King videos I recorded in Missoula in order to put them on my Facebook page.  This one intrigues me, and I have often contemplated actually doing this or podcasts . . . but, that is what we introverts do . . . we contemplate these things for a long, long time before jumping in with two feet.

• ·        Puzzles . . . do puzzles the writer suggested.  I am lousy at puzzles.  I remember the day I was really proud of myself when I finally completed a puzzle in about six months.  I was beside myself with pride at my accomplishment.  When the wife asked me what I was so happy about, I explained that I had finished the puzzle in less than six months . . . the box said three to six years.  She let me down softly.

• ·        Take an online class.  Not the way that I like to learn.

• ·        Learn to knit . . . as long as there are stores where I can buy my clothes, I will never ever learn to knit . . . I’d probably poke my eye out with one of those needles.

• ·        Play games . . . primarily video games.  Nope.  Not happening.  Not happening because I believe that if humans created the game, then humans should be able to kick the game's butt.  I got tired of getting my butt kicked.  The only game I play—by myself—is solitaire on the computer when I get really, really bored.  I have play it 1,365 times . . . I have won four percent of the time . . . this is why I do not play games.  I am a poor loser when I am playing by myself.

• ·        Garden . . . ha!  This has always been a “family” activity that becomes a “John” activity . . . I do the weeding, I do the cleaning . . . I do it all.  It is not pleasing . . . it is work.

• ·        Watch movies . . . I used to do this, but just haven’t been motivated to do it even though I probably have over 2,000 movies sitting in the closet from those years I spent the weekends away from the family with no cable TV.  Now, if I start to watch a movie, I catch myself sleeping before it even gets to the middle.  Has nothing to do with being an introvert . . . I am getting old.

• ·        Meditate . . . nope, not me.

• ·        Get handy and fix things . . . hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . again, not me.  I am better at breaking things than fixing them.

• ·        Volunteer with animals . . . I love animals, but I already have enough pets in my life . . . I’ll give my loving whenever I’m around dogs and cats, but I don’t want to spend my spare time taking care of other people’s pets.  I pick up enough poop in my own yard.

• ·        Learn a new language . . . shoot, I need to learn the one I speak.

• ·        Build models . . . seems a little ridiculous to spend time putting together a plastic model, sit it on a shelf and let it collect dust . . . then I have to dust . . . sounds like work.  Now, if it is to build models like Christy Turlington, Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, Gisele Bundchen, or Heidi Klum . . . well, they can hang out on my shelves any time they want.  That is the type of modeling I admire . . . but, if two are involved is it really “alone” time?

I might get into the areas of podcasts and YouTube . . . not to listen and watch . . . but to put out there for others to listen and watch.  I guess I have to think about whether or not I have something to say or video worth other people’s time.  Plus, I do not find much rejuvenation in many of those activities . . . lots of work and frustration.  Now, the six things that I do . . . well, those are a whole other ball game.

Lately, photography is my number one choice.  I love taking pictures . . . lots of pictures.  You have to take lots of pictures to get a good picture.  I always tell folks that you have to take hundreds of pictures to get one good picture.  I take my camera most of the places I go when I am not working.  I believe in attempting to tell a story with pictures.  Right now my primary picture taking involves birds and my grandchildren.  I use Facebook as the place to share my photos . . . I also post my bird pictures at http://revjmk.tumblr.com/. 

Writing . . . well, you are reading my writing.  I also write a weekly column and newsletter for the congregation I serve . . . http://us2.campaign-archive1.com/?u=70af6bc8e224ee30770a5ebd5&id=713e91220e&e.  I also write a weekly sermon . . . http://homileticdump.blogspot.com/2015/11/take-away-stones-john-1132-45.html. And, I blog.  I think the writer got that one right.

I like to do outdoor activities.  I enjoy going on hikes . . . even with others even though I lag behind or get way out in front . . . but, I enjoy these by myself.  The problem is that the wife does not like me hiking by myself.  I enjoy critter creeping and taking trips by myself.  I just like these by myself.

Reading . . . I have always loved to read.  As a kid I was one of those who read under the covers with a flashlight.  Still love to read . . . read every night before I go to bed.  Reading leads to better writing.  There are tons of books lying around the house . . . I appreciate books.

I guess I appreciate articles written by those who think that they are helping out introverts.  The author of the MSN.com article assumed that he or she is helping us introverts out, but I think it is a little overwhelming the number of suggestions.  I will admit that I have dabbled in a few of them, but at my age I think I have found those areas that bring me the most satisfaction and energize me the most.  It really doesn’t matter because most introverts will figure it out on their own . . . after all, it is a personal, individual thing.  Again, something that extraverts don’t understand.

Which brings me back to the fact that I am even writing about this . . . as an introvert I needed to get off by myself, spend a little time alone, and play.  Play with words.  Play with ideas.  All by myself.  Even alone, we introverts know how to entertain ourselves.  We are not bored.  We are not lonely.  We are not shy.  We are not weird (though others might think we are).  No, we are just introverts.  Even introverts need time to play . . . even if it is playing by themselves.

Trust me . . . you will like us better if you just let us play by ourselves.  Everyone will be happy.  It is amazing how much better I feel . . . I really needed this time.

Old Dog, New Tricks?

Okay, apparently I am not too old to learn something new.  I guess I don’t know everything even though I have reached the age that wisdom becomes the prevalent mode from which people my age operate from . . . another myth down the drain!  But the fact is, I learned something new today.

What did I learn, you ask?

I learned about a new category of personality.  Like most people I was trained to believe that when it comes to personality . . . in particular the parts of the personality involving introversion and extroversion . . . that people were one or another.  You were either an introvert or an extrovert . . . plain and simple.  Then this morning I read a blog about a third category . . . ambiverts.  Huh? You say.  Me, too . . . I had never heard the word before and suddenly I was reading all about ambiverts.  My understanding of personality was suddenly blown out of the water . . . my world of “black and white”, introvert/extrovert was shattered as I read about these freaks of nature . . . these, these . . . ambiverts!

What exactly is an ambivert?  According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary an ambivert is “a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert.”  Interpretation . . . a freak of nature!

My understanding of personality . . . in particular taking personality assessments like the Myers Briggs or the Keirsey Bates is that an individual’s scores are based on a continuum from zero to ten going to the left and right of the zero.  Usually the introversion score is on the left side of the zero, the extroversion score is on the right.  A person is given a score for each . . . the higher score on the continuum is the preference of the individual.  So, for example if my score is a seven on the introversion side and a three on the extroversion side, more often than not I am going to prefer introversion over extroversion in particular situations.  But, what it is really saying is that I have a both traits within me.  Typically one is stronger than the other.  These assessments are scored that way so that people know what their preference is.  The bottom line is that all of us have both introversion and extroversion within us.  We just prefer one over the other.

Suddenly, upon learning this new knowledge, I felt like a fake . . . a sham.  I began to question whether or not I truly was an introvert or I was just faking it all of these years.  Fifty-six years down the drain!  It was something I needed to think about . . . something I needed to go off to a lonely place and contemplate for a while.  Do some more research.  Do some more brooding.  I guess I could have gone off and talked to someone about it, but that just didn’t feel right . . . so, I went off . . . by myself . . . and thought about it.  I did not want to be ambivalent about the whole thing.

One of the things that I stumbled across while brooding over this crisis of personality was a brief test that would determine (once and for all) whether or not I was an introvert, extrovert, or this new species called ambivert.  It was a short test of 18 statements of which a person is supposed to pick between five choices.  At the end of the test, you click a button, and your personality trait is given to you.  With such power to determine who I was staring me in the face . . . I did it.  I took the test.  The results?  I scored ambivert.  If you would like to take the test for yourself  go to this LINK.   I warn you now, be careful because you might not like the results . . . personally I think that the test is rigged.  I think everyone is going to score ambivert.

I actually believe that we are all ambiverts.  Remember that I stated that these assessments are set up on a continuum.  Upon the completion of the Myers Briggs or Keirsey Bates everyone is going to have a score that shows their preferences for introversion or extraversion.  We have both in us . . . we are introverts and extraverts . . . it is just the way that we are made up.  We have both, but we prefer one over the other.  Using the original definition, we are all ambiverts.  It is just a matter of which one we prefer.

Now, those who push for this third category of personality trait involving introversion and extraversion would probably argue until they are blue in the face about what I think.  And, they probably have good ground to stand on as this idea of being ambivert is not new . . . it has been around since 1927.  In what I have read about ambiverts, I just might be an ambivert . . . but, I still prefer introversion over everything else.  Besides I have over 56 years invested in introversion and I am not quite ready to give it up.  Yet, at the same time, this might help explain to those who are the closest to me why thing disagree with me when I say that I am an introvert.  According to what I read, ambiverts thrive in both worlds.  That just wears me out thinking about it.

So, I am going to stick to my understanding of personality traits—especially when it comes to introversion and extraversion.  I am going to continue to believe that I am a combination of both introversion and extraversion with one being a stronger preference than the other.  I am going to continue to believe that I have the ability to walk around and survive in the world of the extravert . . . especially when it comes to the professions I have chosen in my life.  I can be an extravert when I HAVE to be an extravert, but my preference is still towards the inner world of introversion.  It is so much quieter there romping around the rock garden between my ears.  If someone wants to point there finger at me and tell me I am an ambivert . . . so be it.  But I hope they can handle the finger I point back at them.

Just because some Internet test tells me I am an ambivert doesn’t make it true.  No.  I probably will need to take the test a couple of hundreds of times before I jump in with both feet.  I will probably have to contemplate this is the inner world I have created before I fully believe it.  In the meantime I am going to embrace my introverted side.  It has served me well over the years . . . kept me sane . . . and made me able to wander out into the world of extraverts and survive.  I am not denying that ambiverts actually exist . . . but, at the same time, to some degree, we are all ambiverts.

Yep, this old dog learned something new today.  Who would have thunk!  But, I am not yet ready to give full credence to this idea of ambiverts.  In the meantime I will continue to peruse the world around me from the safety of my introverted kingdom and consider these invasions into my understanding and world.  I really hate it when someone or something screws up my understanding of the world.  Just when I think that I have it all figured out . . . damn!  That sounds like an ambivert’s statement!  Damn!  I’m going to have to think about this for a while.