I Just Can’t

 

Apparently, Americans are speaking less.  According to two researchers we are talking approximately 28% less than we did fifteen years ago.  We are using less words . . . 330 fewer words are spoken per day, roughly 120,000 less words spoken per year.  The researchers state, “It’s a substantial loss.”  This lack of speaking is a concern especially because the trend seems to be continuing annually. 

It seems that this lack of intercourse between folks is a determent to psychological and social well-being.  Talking contributes to our well-being and sense of belonging.  It eases anxiety.  Helps us to trust others.  Bottom that speaking or talking is a benefit and that this dwindling of intercourse is destroying society.  Logically the means of bucking this trend is to talk more to one another.  So, I am assuming we should all talk more.

 

I can’t . . . I just can’t.  There is no way I can talk more.  I just can’t.

 

It is not difficult to see how this decline in conversation has evolved over the years.  Technology has played a major role.  Smart phones with all their innovative means of connecting people have seen major movement towards texting and messaging apps especially among the young.  Texting seems the way to go for a lot of people.  There’s no real interaction.  I see this with my children.  They would rather text or message than have a real conversation.

 

Also, smart phones are a major distraction.  The average American spends four to five hours a day looking at their phone.  This is about 70 full days per year.  I’m fairly certain that little of that time is spend talking to other people.  Here is how it breaks down:

•      Gen Z averages 6.5 hours a day. 
•      Millennials roughly 4.5 hours a day.
•      Baby Boomers average 3 to 4 hours a day.
•     Teens, at least 20%, average 5 to 8 hours a day.

All are well over the recommended screen time of under two hours per day.  Research shows that people check their phones 58 times a day.  It is hard to converse when one’s nose and attention is focused on a cell phone screen.

Thanks to the Covid pandemic, there is the issue of social isolation.  Americans increasingly spend more time alone and are not as socially engaged.  This follows the trend of more people working remotely.  If you aren’t around people, you are not going to say much.  Technology has contributed by doing lots of tasks once done in person now done online.  Paying bills can be set up online. Retailers struggle as more shopping is done online.  Everything can be done online—who needs people?  That, which has made life more efficient has resulted in less verbal action.  Shoot!  With artificial intelligence (AI) there is no need for people at all. Your best friend can be AI.

 

This all adds up to less human-to-human interaction.  An average person has gone from 16,600 words per day to a measly 12,000 words per day.

 

Honestly, I do not see a problem.  Of course, I am an introvert.  I can do with fewer people and less verbal interaction.  I appreciate the peace and quiet.  Besides, people talk too much.  It was pointed out to me long ago that we should listen twice as much as we speak.  That is why God created humans with two ears and one mouth.  Where the researchers see a problem, I see a blessing.  For that reason, it is frustrating to be urged to take up the mantle and talk more.  I can’t do it.  It’s not in me.  I’m not built for it.

 

Now don’t get me wrong . . . I talk.  When I worked full-time, I spoke as necessitated and required by my employer.  I did my part though I doubt it was anywhere close to 12,000 to 16,600 words a day.  Same as the duties I performed for over 40 years as a pastor.  I spoke when the need came up or it was a part of the duties of ministry.  I can tell you that these verbal bouts wore me out by the end of the day.  By the time I got home in the evening I wanted peace and quiet. Which was okay.  In our marriage the wife is the verbal one.  She is an extrovert and never missed a conversation.  I estimate that she speaks 75% of the time we are together.  I just shake my head a lot.  Because I have two ears, I listen.  It works for us.

 

Socially I talk I greet people with “hello”, but never with “how you doing?”  “How you doing” opens a flood gate for an all-out dissertation.  I don’t have time for that.  I will speak when others speak to me.  That’s respect.  Because of that I tend not to be social.  I have been known to get “talkative” after a couple of beers.  Alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes people chatty.  I’m not inclined to be chatty, and I always regret it the next day when I am.  For the most part to be talkative you need people.  I prefer my own company.  At least I know how the conversation is going to go.  My sister gave me a sweatshirt years ago that said, “Ewww . . . people!”  It is one of my favorite sweatshirts, but it rarely gets worn outside of the house.  People don’t always appreciate humor or sarcasm.  I know, truth hurts.

 

When researchers discover and complain that people don’t talk enough . . . that people are talking to each other less . . . I don’t see the problem.  As far as I am concerned, it is a nice problem to have.  It is quieter.  An introvert’s dream.  When those researchers suggest that people need to talk more . . . well, I get anxious.  Talk more?  That’s a big request.  I’d love to help, but I can’t.  That’s a big ask.  It would mean I would have to get out of my comfort zone.  I would have to actually be around people . . . that I would have to converse . . . to speak.  An introvert’s worse nightmare.  I will let others do the talking.  I am certain that there are plenty of folks out there who can pick up the mantle and speak up a storm.  It is an election year with plenty of talking to go around.  I am sure that these people can do it and make America great once again as “talkers”.  It just won’t be me . . . I just can’t.

 

(Blog based on article by Markham Heid, What We’re Losing by Talking Less, Time magazine, May 25, 2026.)