One in 4,294,967,296 of winning . . .
I kind of like my odds at winning this year’s March Madness basketball
brackets. The payout . . . a cool one
billion dollars. Yeah, you read that
correctly . . . one billion dollars.
Billionaire Warren Buffet and Quicken Loans are offering a billion
dollars to anyone who can pick a perfect bracket . . . that means picking the
winners of all 63 games in this year’s NCAA men’s college basketball
tournament. They will pay any person who
picks a perfect bracket one billion dollars . . . either in 40 annual
installments of $25 million or a lump sum payment of $500 million . . . I will
take my winnings in the annual installment plan. That is how much I like my odds of winning .
. . only one in 4,294,967,296.
I have already informed the family
that I will be willing to share the wealth once I win . . . I think I will be
able to afford to spread a couple of million here and there to help everyone
out. I have also contacted the bank to
see whether or not they can handle the annual deposits of $25 million . . .
they are checking into it as they have never had anyone make a deposit that big
before. That should get a whole bunch of
free toasters! I have not informed the Internal Revenue
Service yet . . . I am sure they will know well before I ever get the first
check for winning . . . they will probably take half of it before it ever hits
the bank. But, the point is, I am
already making the necessary plans to receive my financial windfall when I
win. Heck, it is only one in
4,294,967,296 . . . pretty darn good odds!
Well, maybe they are not the best odds
. . . but, I like them. I imagine that I
would have better odds of bowling a perfect game at 11,500 to one. If I played golf, the odds that I would get a
hole in one is only 5,000 to one. Dating
a super model (these are really lousy odds because the wife has already told
me, NO!) is 88,000 to one. This is would
be a good one if they were offering a billion dollars . . . drowning in a
bathtub is 685,000 to one . . . good thing I only take showers. This one I would have won a long time ago . .
. getting hemorrhoids at 25 to one. At
11,500 to one, I have a better chance of winning an Academy Award. Striking it rich on Antique Roadshow is 60,000 to one . . . getting a ticket to be on Antique Roadshow is like a billion to
one. Yeah, there are things out there
with better odds than picking a perfect bracket in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament;
but, I just have that feeling that this is my year.
Shoot!
I have never won anything . . . it is my turn. I can just feel it. Now, all I have to do is play . . . me and
the first ten million people to submit a bracket when they open up on March 3rd. Plus, I have to be faster than the rest of
the family in the house . . . there is only one bracket per household. I have already threatened my family that I
will cut them out if they submit a bracket from our address . . . just more
money for me! Whatever the case, I want
to make sure that I submit a bracket. I
do not want to be like the guy who kept praying to God to help him win the
lottery . . . finally God had to tell the guy that he had to buy a ticket if he
wanted God’s help in winning. I will get
a bracket in . . . come hell or high water or even knocking off a few of my
children . . . I will be one of the ten million.
Now, you are probably thinking that I
am a fool for even thinking that I could ever pick a perfect bracket . . . that
I would ever win a billion dollars; but, this is a no lose situation. Let me explain. Buffet is a smart business person and he is going
into this knowing his risk. He has
already stated that he would probably strike a deal with potential winners
before they actually get to the final game . . . or, as he stated, “I’ll make
you an offer you can’t refuse.” I have
decided that I would save Mr. Buffet a whole lot of time and effort by striking
a deal with him now . . . I’ll take a cool couple of thousand right now. If he would do that, I won’t enter the
contest. Sounds good to me. We both win!
With a couple of thousand I can take
the wife on a vacation . . . feed the whole family at Red Lobster . . . drop a little in the collection plate at church .
. . and, still have enough left over for lunch a couple of times at work. Either way, how can I lose? I get some cash either way . . . even at 4,294,967,296
to one odds. I kind like my chances . .
. I’m putting all my money on the Cornell Big Red! Go Big Red . . . a billion dollars is riding
on you!
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