Deranged! Delusional! You Tell Me

Crap!  I had hoped to get through the winter without getting sick, and outside of my recent surgery I thought I was doing great.  Then some stranger pointed out that I was suffering from T.D.S.  It sounded serious.  Kind of icky.  The person sounded certain that I had T.D.S. and was “probably an unbearable person.” Sounds bad, doesn’t it?  Something no one would ever want to come down with . . . but this individual was certain I had T.D.S. 

Once I got over the shock of learning I was inflicted with T.D.S., I decided I should probably know what the heck T.D.S. is in the first place.

 

T.D.S.—uh oh!  Gotta a problem.  There’s two!  Which one afflicts me?

 

Trump Derangement Syndrome.  “This is a term describing an alleged, extreme, and irrational emotional or cognitive reaction to Donald Trump’s actions, policies, or public presence often characterized by intense hostility, paranoia, or instability to distinguish policy differences from personality.”  It is primarily used as a put down or insult to describe severe opposition to Trump.  It is not a medical condition but those who throw the term around like to imply a mental illness . . . yet it is not a legitimate mental illness that can be found in the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s (A.P.A.) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM5).

 

Trump Delusional Syndrome.  “In this disorder the victim has lost the ability to perceive the factual information related to Donald Trump, instead believing the lies and distortions presented by Trump and his supporters about his behavior.”  Again, it is not a medical condition.  Those who like to throw it around like to imply that it is a mental illness though it, too, is not listed in the DSM5.

 

Deranged or delusional?  I am certain, from the individual’s statement that the diagnosis leans towards the “deranged” side of the syndrome.  Let me explain.

 

It all started when I responded to a clergy friend’s post on Facebook.  This friend re-posted Tyson Durfey’s original post about an evening that he had the opportunity to spend a couple of hours with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem and her husband after a Trump rally.  They spoke about faith, family, and some politics which left him impressed to the point that he thanked God for her leadership.  In his opinion she was a person of faith . . . a lover of God . . . and that she put family first.  According to Durfey she is the sort of leader America needs.

 

Durfey admits that he is just an “old cowboy” . . . and he is.  He is also a world champion cowboy having made his living competing in rodeos in the U.S. and Canada.  Now he is retired from the rodeo circuit and a successful entrepreneur.  Look him up on Facebook.  Like most of us he obviously has opinions.

 

Because my friend is a ministerial colleague I questioned Durfey’s Facebook post and endorsement of Kristi Noem based on “faith and family”.  My question was about how we (clergy) endorse and support a person who has come out to the public and admitted that she is married and dating another married man.  Isn’t that cheating?  Doesn’t this (adultery) go against God and God’s will?  How is this good family values?  I wrote: “I think Durfey needs to clean his glasses off and take a close look at what he admires.  What do you think?”  Mind you, I was posting this to my clergy friend to in an attempt to understand.

 

Hoping to hear from my friend and have a conversation, the response to my statement came from another person . . . a stranger . . . A.W.  His post stated that my inquiry was a load of B.S., that I have T.D.S., and are probably an “unbearable person”.  Because of this I determined that he thinks my syndrome leans into the “deranged” realm.

 

I appreciate A.W.’s response even though my inquiry was addressed directly to my friend—no one else.  Of course, because of my syndrome, I couldn’t resist responding to A.W.’s post.  I responded: “Adultery is unacceptable in the Christian faith . . . that is B.S.?”  Still waiting for a snappy response.  He might want to check out his T.D.S.—on the delusional side.

 

That, my friends, is how I came about my condition . . . my illness . . . my supposed mental illness.  Yes, mental illness.  A bill was introduced in Congress by Republican House Representative Warren Davidson (R-OH) seeking the National Institutes of Health to study T.D.S. (derangement side only).  Look it up.  In the Minnesota legislature five Republican state representatives introduced a bill to have T.D.S. (again, only on the deranged side) defined as a form of mental illness.  I thought I was just pissed off . . . pissed off with tRump . . . pissed off with his handling of our nation . . . pissed off with his cruelty . . . pissed off with his revenge tour.  Pissed off.  Angry . . . but mentally ill . . . I don’t think so!  Whatever the case, what I have has a name, I have T.D.S.

I will live.  It is not a life-threatening curse unless some other person with T.D.S. (the delusional kind) goes off the deep end and takes me out of my misery.  There is no known cure except for losing one’s mind and jumping over to the delusional side. That would be deemed a glorious day . . . a miraculous day . . . by my MAGA associates.  Yet, there are some long-shot solutions to the syndrome:

·        With the president’s self-proclaimed “excellent health” he could suddenly die.

·        The Senate and House could flip in the mid-term elections and they impeach the president.

·        And there are some more gruesome scenarios of which I would not endorse despite how pissed off I am.

 

No matter what, I have T.D.S.  I am deranged.  Of course, those who have diagnosed me with the syndrome are probably suffering from the delusional form.  They might want to check the mirror.  Almost feels as if the whole nation is afflicted with some form of T.D.S. right now.  We are all suffering.  This individual is killing our nation, our Constitution, and us as citizens of what was once a great nation.  Because of it we are all suffering from some form of this syndrome. 

At first the diagnosis scared me, but not anymore.  If people want to describe my anger as a syndrome . . . then fine.  Bottom line is that I am pissed.  Pissed that the president is a despicable, immoral, vengeful, cruel human being who only seeks power and control for himself and his cronies.  Pissed that he has gutted our government, destroyed years of equality and justice, destroyed sacred institutions and values, and fed us a line that this is a “bigger and better” America than we have ever had before.  Pissed that inflation is quickly rising, affordability is a joke, and that our national debt is skyrocketing, nothing is affordable or livable.  Pissed that he has brought back every “ism” . . . white nationalism, racism . . . if it isn’t in his image we are to hate it.  I’m pissed and if you want to call it T.D.S.—fine, just make sure you classify it as the “derangement” version”.  I can justify that.  I could never justify T.D.S.—the “delusional” version—because of the overwhelming evidence that is available showing how far gone this president has gone.  That would be unacceptable and immoral.  I am not delusional, I am pissed . . . I mean, deranged!  This is a big part of why we are where we are today . . . Trump Derangement/Delusional Syndrome.

So . . . I have T.D.S.  Now I have a label and a name for being pissed off at tRump.  Who would have thought?  Be careful it is starting to become contagious.

 

Dancing in the Shadows

So if you're walking down the street sometime

And spot some hollow ancient eyes,

Please don't just pass 'em by and stare

As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello."

(John Prine, Hello in There)

If you look closely, they always seem to be there . . . in the peripheral vision . . . in the shadows.  One moment you see, the next you don’t . . . but they are there . . . dancing in the dark . . . always in the shadows.  They are the people that don’t fit in . . . those with mental illness, disabilities . . . those who are different from the rest of us . . . those who talk too much, laugh too loud, look funny . . . those who are who are not in the groups we run around with . . . those who are too old . . . different races, genders . . . the poor, the illiterate . . . those who don’t speak our language . . . they are there in the shadows, dancing and longing to be invited into the light of the dance floor.

This past weekend, at the wedding I attended, I accidently saw them at the wedding dance . . . in the shadows.  There they were . . . swaying to the music . . . nodding their heads to the rhythm of the beat . . . longing, always longing to be included.  In the pulsing music and lights, I stared . . . they were faces I recognized, people I knew . . . and, then, like a deer caught in headlights, they were gone.  Lost in the darkness that surrounds the shadows . . . only to appear again, in the shadows, on the other side of the dance floor.  Despite the joy of the celebration, my heart was sad . . .

One, lost in the throes of a battle with depression, was someone I knew well . . . often spoke to . . . a nice, talented guy having a tough time with his life . . . dancing and darting around in the shadows.  The other, has one of those disabilities that effect his ability to understand the mores of social behavior . . . the sort of guy who tells way too many stories, laughs too loud, and never knows when to be quiet . . . kind of goofy . . . going through difficult times in his own life . . . a pretty nice guy . . . dancing and darting around in the shadows.  And, they were not the only ones . . . there were others . . . male and female . . . the wallflowers . . . the dreamers . . .the ostracized . . . those on the outside looking in.  There they stood . . . longing, longing to be including in the dance of life that the rest of us were enjoying.

Those who dance in the shadows are all around us in our daily lives. They are in the places where we work . . . you can see them . . . they stand on the edge of the group . . . hang back of the group, never quite walking with everyone else, always a few steps behind . . . always laughing a second too late.  They are in the places where we play . . . the places where we worship even.  Always on the outside, always looking in, always longing to belong . . . to be a part of the group . . . dancing in the shadows.

My sadness did not come from the fact that there were those at the wedding dance who were dancing in the shadows, but because I knew these people . . . they were friends, they were family . . . and, until that moment I was not even aware of their presence.  They were in the shadows . . . dancing . . . people I love.  I was so wrapped up in my world I couldn’t even see those who longed to be included . . . who wanted to come and be a part of the dance . . . the dance of life.  In that moment that I caught them in the shadows dancing . . . caught them in my vision . . . my heart was broken.  I should have stopped . . . and said, “Hello in there” . . . but, I didn’t.

Most of us probably never would.  We would avert our eyes . . . cross to the other side of the street . . . ignore and deny.  I think that I know what I am talking about because we all do it . . . every day, we do it.  We pass the hitchhiker on the side of the road . . . we walk pass the person with the sign begging for money . . . we ignore the person limping . . . we those lonely eyes . . . because we do not want to get involved.  We don’t want the hassle.  We don’t want to ruin a good thing that we have going on.  We all do it, even the best of us who try real hard to be inclusive of everyone . . . our talk is usually better than our walk.  We ignore the dancing that is going on in the shadows of our lives . . . we never stop to say, “Hello in there.”

We should all be sad . . . our hearts should be broken . . . there are those who are not being included for whatever reasons we want to name.  There are those not being allowed to gather at the table . . . those who are not being allowed to dance . . . those who are never, ever, invited in.  Intentionally or not, we are all a part of the problem.

This is a sin.  Plain and simple, known or unknown to us, it is a sin to exclude anyone from life . . . from the table . . . from the dance.  Each and every person is created in the image of God the scriptures tell us . . . in the image of God we were all created.  In others is the image of God . . . to separate ourselves from God is a sin.  When we allow those to dance in the shadows, we ignore the presence of God. 

Jesus taught that we are to love God—completely with our whole being.  Jesus also taught us that we are to love our neighbors . . . and, surprisingly, everyone is our neighbor.  What does that say about us when we do not invite those who are in the shadows dancing to the dance?  That is where the sadness in my heart comes . . .

I need to learn to say, “Hello in there” more often . . . to invite those who are in the shadows to come and join the dance . . . pull up a chair at the table . . . to lift the cup and break the bread . . . to truly welcome everyone in.  I have been in the shadows and it sucks . . . God wants us to all be a part of the dance.  It doesn’t matter how poorly you dance, God wants you to dance.  God wants us all to be family.