Where is Agent 86 When We Need Him?

The current president of the United States of America thrives in chaos.  He delights in upsetting the apple cart.  He revels in creating disorder and confusion.  He truly seems to enjoy making life a constant nightmare for the citizens he was elected to serve . . . and, get this, it doesn’t matter if you are with him or against him.  Dare I say this with his ban on DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) . . . he is an equal opportunity disrupter.  He really does not care who he is ticking off as long as the attention is on him.  No one should be surprised.  He did this in his last term.  The “orange one” thrives on chaos.  No one can deny that.  Since taking office a little over a month ago there has been nothing but complete disorder and confusion.  That, my friends, is the definition of chaos.

The United States is in utter chaos!  We are a mess!  Where is Maxell Smart, Agent 86, when we need him?

 

Remember Maxwell Smart?  Oops!  I’m showing my age.  Get Smart was a comedy television series that parodied the secret agent genre made popular by all the James Bonds films.  Created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry it stars Don Adams as a bumbling secret agent who worked for a secret U.S. government counterintelligence agency based in Washington, D.C. called CONTROL.  Its main task was to fight KAOS, the international organization of evil”, whose goal was world domination.  Adams character was named Maxwell Smart.  He was Agent 86.  As in any good show, good always prevails over evil and Maxwell Smart—despite his incompetence and bumbling always succeeded in achieving his mission.

 

As a nation, we sure could use him right about now!

 

Daniel Strand, a professor of ethics at Air University, headquartered at Maxwell Air Force Base, Alabama, writes: “At any and every corner of personal and social life, the primary threat to human flourishing is the disordering of the human soul and social relations into self-centered, individualistic, indulgent, narcissistic, idealistic, prideful, tribal, or sentimental factions. Chaos is a cancer that manifests itself within the soul of the individual and social relations when order disintegrates.”  (Chaos: The Fundamental Problem of Human Society, Providence, February 16, 2016) Chaos creates a real circus, and who among us does not feel lost in a circus beyond our control thanks to the actions of the “orange one” and his cronies.  We are in chaos as a nation and as the citizens of this nation.  Chaos creates feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, uncertainty, stress, a sense of being unmoored, leading to a desire to do something, anything to regain control which often leads to impulsive behaviors, poor decision making, and even physical health issues.  It creates a mess . . . a sense of hopelessness, especially with the onslaught that the president is wielding his Sharpie.

 

I’m concerned.  I am concerned when I see people in my life whom I have always viewed as intelligent, competent, compassionate, justice-minded, peace-seeking, hopeful individuals feeling as if someone has punched them in the gut, knocking them to the ground.  Concerned when so many are telling me that they are scared . . . hopeless . . . lost . . . detached . . . immobilized.  That they are so confused about what is happening.  Wondering where in the world they are living.  This is not the United States of America that they were taught about, that they experienced, that they support and loved.  It is a nightmare as this chaos wreaks its meanness and cruelty upon all that they hold dear with some cock-eyed vision of what will make “America great!”

 

And, sadly, that is their goal.  To create so much chaos that people are paralyzed and fearful of doing anything about it.  The magnitude of the chaos being experienced seems so overwhelming that it seems impassable . . . hopeless . . . that nothing short of divine intervention can save the day.  Not even Maxwell Smart can save the day.  This is the playground of the president and his incompetent administration, and they are exerting it like a bull in a china shop.  This is not the “American way”.  It is not even good Judeo-Christian (or any religion for that matter) practice.  It is chaos.  It is evil.

 

Obviously, Agent 86 isn’t going to ride into the chaos and rescue the day.  So, what can anyone do?  Well, there is much that can be done:

• Contact your legislators.  If it is a Republican member of congress, contact them and tell them to come clean and own their role in the chaos.  They are as much the problem as the “orange one” and his administration.  If it is a Democrat member of congress, contact them to start using their leverage . . . to get some backbone to hold the line.  To stand up, challenge, and be counted.
• Remind all our legislators that executive orders don’t and can’t override federal laws and statutes.  Take them to court.  The Constitution still counts for something.
•  Combat misinformation.  Stay informed.  Do your research.  Don’t take what you see on social media as the “gospel” or the “truth”.  There is a lot of disinformation out there . . . it is built into the chaos.
•  Show up when and where you can.  Let people see that you care.  Know your rights.  You have a right to speak out.
•  Speak out and make public comments . . . attend public hearings to give community input.
•  Find groups within your community for support or to support.
•  Contribute to organizations taking up the legal battle against this chaos.  It takes a lot of funding to wage the battle in court.
•    Call for the freedom of the press . . . support independent journalism. Limiting journalistic access to the president, the administration, and the general government goes against the Constitution.
•  Keep believing . . . this is our country.  We are the people spoken so eloquently in the forming of our nation and constitution.  Have hope.

As nice as it would be to have Maxwell Smart come to our rescue . . . we are on our own with this one.  Chaos is a darkness.  In the spiritual journey the wise ones often speak of sojourning through the darkness to get to the light.  The old hymn tells us that the “darkest hour is just before the dawn.”  We are in the midst of darkness.  Let us keep striving to shatter the darkness and bring back the light.  Let us resist the darkness.  We can do this because we are not alone.  We have each other and together “we are the people”.  That is the only thing that will make a difference.  Agent 86 is coming . . . the show was cancelled years and years ago.  As Maxwell Smart used to say, “Would you believe . . .”  Believe!!  We can do this.

 

Chaos

The clock is ticking . . .

In approximately fifteen hours it begins.  The youngest son and his spouse will be arriving from that community mecca of Mormonism—and, no, they are not Mormons, but exist peacefully in their midst—to kick off the start of the Fourth of July celebration.  Eleven hours later the daughter, her husband, the nearly two-year-old granddaughter, and a little over one week old granddaughter arrive from the nearby big city to join in the festivities of celebrating the nation’s birthday.  Five hours after their arrival will come the son-in-law’s family—mother, father, and two brothers; plus, there will be a good friend of the son’s wife joining us about the same time.  Add into that mix that the oldest son canceled his brief vacation back to the land of Big Red, the number three son looking forward to the big celebration, and the wife and I . . . it beginning to stack up as a natural plan for chaos.  As they say, whenever two or three gather, someone always spills the milk. 

Like the rest of the nation all of us are looking forward to celebrating our independence . . . or at least using that as an excuse for getting together for food, family, and fun.  We are just as patriotic as the next family, but, at the same time, we are also gathering to do some other celebrating.  We are celebrating the youngest son’s birthday while he is here.  We are celebrating the youngest son’s and his lovely spouse’s first wedding anniversary.  Thrown in there will be the celebration of the newest addition to the family—our lovely granddaughter and her presence at the table.  We will also, semi-celebrate the oldest granddaughter’s birthday—which we won’t officially celebrate until later in the month of July.  Plus, we are throwing is a semi-reunion for the daughter-in-law and one of her childhood friends and bridesmaid as she travels up from the Cowboy State to see her best friend.  Are you keeping all of this straight . . . are you beginning to sense ominous clouds of chaos building?

So, there will be fifteen people and three dogs in our house to celebrate the day on the Fourth . . . fifteen people . . . that is eleven more than usual . . . and, they will be in the house for endless hours into the wee hours of the night.  An introvert’s worse nightmare.  Oh, sure, the first few hours will be fine . . . everyone will put on their best faces, exchange pleasantries and small talk, sip beverages, play a few games, and tell the same old stories over and over again.  The pattern is well-established through the generations of all families, everyone knows his or her role . . . it is just how it is.  Yet, somewhere there is a magical nexus that tips towards the dark side . . . and, then things begin to change.

Facial expressions change . . . suddenly there is more rolling of the eyes and other musculature manipulations of the face that express boredom and beyond.  The pleasantries and small talk turn to sarcasm and heated debates . . . especially if politics or the president are mentioned.  Beverages move from the sipping stage to the gulping stage creating less inhibition and the ability to be more mouthy escalates.  The games being played go from the backyard to the places where two or three are gathered together . . . from the realm of physical games to psychological games.  And, the same old stories are told over and over with editorial comments and corrections being added by other players involved in the story.  Feeling get hurt.  Moping begins.  The mood shifts . . . but, everyone attempts to ignore it.  Someone will suggest that a few fireworks be lit . . . nothing like a metaphorical image to express what everyone is feeling.

Chaos?

I am not quite sure, but it feels like it.

Even as an introvert . . . and, since this is actually a gathering of people I love and know well . . . I am looking forward to the gathering.  I am looking forward to seeing my youngest son and his wife as they are two of my favorite people in the whole world . . . even their dog, our granddog, Zoey.  I haven’t seen them for what seems like a long, long time since they live in the Mormon Mecca.  I am looking forward to seeing the daughter and her family . . . I really like my son-in-law . . . and, I especially like my two granddaughters.  It is good to have the other two sons at home for the celebration even though I see them all of the time.  The son-in-law’s family are good people and I enjoy their company whenever we get together . . . after all, we all survived the wedding that we planned together and no one was killed or hurt . . . they are a lot of fun.  And, the daughter-in-law’s friend . . . well, she is a ginger like the daughter-in-law and she is the daughter-in-law’s best friend . . . has a great sense of humor and a beautiful smile.  She is a good person, and despite the fact that she lives in Wyoming we won’t hold that against her; after all, the daughter-in-law does too.  I like and love the people who are gathering at the homestead to celebrate all of these wonderful occasions . . . yet, those storm clouds of chaos are building.

It is impossible not to gather that many people in one small house without air conditioning on what is supposed to be the hottest day of the summer without a few strands of the rope fraying somewhere.  The dynamics of putting fifteen independent people in the same room and expecting them to get along peacefully for the whole time . . . well, it is a Spanish pipe dream.  It just cannot happen as expectations bite the dust as the day grows longer.  Chaos.

First of all, there is the attention factor . . . who gets the attention?  Does the youngest son get the attention since it is his birthday we are throwing into the mix?  Is it the youngest son and his wife since we have not seen them in so long and we are celebrating their anniversary of being married one year?  Is it the daughter and her family with the newest (a little over a week) addition to the family?  Is the youngest granddaughter going to be the center of attention . . . will she become the family Cracker Jack box that gets passed around to everyone for their five minutes of holding time?  Is it going to be the nearly two-year-old granddaughter who is still attempting to figure out this little invader to her family . . . her sister . . . and all the attention she is taking away from her . . . dealing with all the uncles, aunts, and grandparents?  Is it going to be the visitor from the Cowboy State?  The wife with all of her hostess skills?  Maybe even our nation as it grows another year older?  What will be the attention factor . . . and, will everyone get enough attention to satisfy the lust for attention?  Sounds like chaos to me.

Second, there is the noise factor that kind of goes with the attention factor.  There will be a lot of noise.  One of the things I have learned over the years is that whenever people gather—family, friends, or whatever—they like to be heard.  To be heard you have to be loud.  Thus, noise . . . lots of noise as people raise their voices to be heard over all the other voices.  Then there are the heated debates as topics and issues are discussed . . . everything from politics to religion to one’s favorite sports teams. Add to that the sound of laughter . . . loud laughter . . . rambunctious laughter . . . fake laughter . . . belly aching laughter . . . and, you get noise.  Not an introvert’s comfort zone. 

And, lastly, throw in the heat.  As I stated, the homestead is a small place without air conditioning.  Most of the time it is not a problem as we control it through manipulating the shades and windows in the house, using the ceiling fans, and retreating to the coolness of the basement when it gets too hot . . . but, we are throwing in an extra eleven people into the mix, plus one extra dog.  They all put off body heat.  Add that heat to the heat of the day . . . and, you get more heat.  Unbearable heat.  Research shows that high temperatures in the weather change people . . . they get grumpy . . . they get irritable . . . they get impatient . . . their fuses get shorter.  It does not make for a good time . . . we all may end up running through the sprinkler with the granddaughter later in the afternoon.

I am nearly overwhelmed and it is still t-minus fifteen hours until it is all set into motion . . . those clouds of chaos are looming on the horizon and the National Weather Service has not even put out a storm watch or warning yet.  The chaos is coming!

Even though the chaos is coming . . . I am prepared.  After fifty-some plus years, I am prepared.  I have ordered up the beverages.  I have set the lawn chairs in the shade where the breeze blows through in the yard.  The wife has gotten a really cool sprinkler to run through.  I have turned all the fans on.  I even ordered up a Speedo swimsuit to wear all day . . . okay, I exaggerate, there are laws against indecent exposure, and me wearing a Speedo would definitely fall into that category.  The thing is . . . I am prepared.  I am ready for anything.  Bring it on!

In the midst of the looming chaos is family . . . my family.  There will be sons and daughters, grandchildren, and friends . . . all people I love.  In the midst of that chaos will be a whole lot of tumult as everyone is making themselves presence and known to everyone else . . . it will be loud and rambunctious, but aren’t all family gatherings?  In the midst of that chaos there will come a sense of being overwhelmed, but I am ready for that too . . . I will step back and observe.  I will observe how such a diverse group of people can love one another despite all of the odds against such an arrangement . . . observe the kindness that overtakes the moments of hurt and forgetfulness . . . observe the family that is gathered.  In the stillness of that respite a different sort of overwhelmness will probably flood my heart as I realize that this is as good as it gets, and it is great to be a part of such a crazy, loving family. 

What are we celebrating in the midst of this chaos?  Well, I am celebrating presence . . . love . . . grace . . . I am celebrating family.  I am ready.  Bring it on . . . it is only fifteen short hours away!  I can’t wait.  Out of chaos comes peace.

Birth of a Dancing Star

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

I have never taken a formal poll of clergy concerning weddings, but in casual conversation with most the clergy I know, the majority would rather do a funeral than wedding.  Weddings are tough . . . especially when it involves a family member.  Weddings are unpredictable because you are dealing with live, breathing people . . . funerals deal with dead people.  Dead people are pretty predictable . . . they are not going to show up at the rehearsal drunk . . . they are not going to get cold feet at the last minute . . . they are not going to faint during the service . . . they are just going to lay there.  It is easier to deal with funerals than it is with weddings . . . weddings are a little on the chaotic side.  No, let me take that back . . . they are just plain old chaotic . . . especially when it involves family or future family.  I should know.

I will admit that one of the reasons that I became a minister is because I wanted to be in control . . . but, the joke was on me, ministers have no control or power . . . especially when it comes to weddings.  I am not good at anticipation.  I am pretty lousy at it because I am not good with surprises . . . weddings seem to have lots of surprises.  This past weekend I got to officiate at the wedding of the youngest son to a wonderful young lady.  It was an event that created a lot of anxiety in me . . . a lot of anticipation . . . because I did not know what I would be dealing with . . . I had very little control.  My role in the weeks leading up to the wedding centered on the phrase, “Yes, dear” . . . to both the wife and mother of the bride.  In the last week of wedding preparations I felt as if I had stepped out of the frying pan into the fire.  Everything felt out of control . . . chaotic.

It was like trying to mix water and oil.  Ministers are not always great at mixing water and oil . . . well, at least not me.  Imagine trying to bring together very different families (which all families are) in a matter of two days and whipping them into a wedding machine.  A lot can happen when you bring together a lot of different families, lots of different people, and a whole bunch of strangers (at least to me) to celebrate a marriage.  People came from as far as New York City, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Wyoming, North and South Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah, Arizona, Nebraska, and all parts of Montana to attend the wedding of our son and newly ordained daughter-in-law.  Water and oil . . . it didn’t mix very well without a whole lot of shaking up.  In fact, it was chaotic, to say the least.

If you have ever been a part of a wedding, you know what I am talking about.  There is so much to do . . . from the rehearsal and dinner to the actual wedding service, dinner, and dance . . . from arranging flowers and decorations . . . from getting hair done and learning to tie bow ties . . . keeping the wedding party sober . . . to feeding the masses who have gathered and are waiting for the real deal to take place . . . greeting guests . . .looking for boutonnieres . . . leaking pipes . . . entertaining the babies and bored adults . . . more food . . . changing weather conditions . . . and, well, a hundred people who think that their way is the best!  It was chaos . . . plain and simple chaos.  Like herding a herd of cats.

Thus the big wedding began with hopes, dreams, and aspirations . . . wanting the best for the bride and groom . . . after all, it is their wedding that everyone wants them to remember.  I don’t know how well most of the couples remember the weddings I officiated at, but I can tell you that I have had many nightmares over the years remembering the weddings I have officiated at . . . chaos.  Dead people . . . well, they are dead.  Dead people don’t give you grief.

But, weddings always surprise me in the end.  As time progressed, people began working together . . . they set aside differences for the common good of the bride and groom . . . they began focusing on the two individuals that they loved . . . they started talking and telling stories . . . there was laughter, there were tears . . . they broke bread together at the table . . . bridges were being built . . . relationships were forming.  The oil was slowly, but surely mixing with the water.  Things were coming together . . . coming together . . . the chaos was subsiding ever so slowly.

In the end, it all came together.  The couple was married in a beautiful ceremony by the Stillwater River in Montana . . . their vows of love and devotion were affirmed by those who had gathered . . . there was applause as they were proclaimed “Mister and Missus” . . . and, the celebration began.  Oh sure, there were glitches . . . the preacher was a little long winded (wonder what that Bozo’s problem was) . . . the bride nailed the groom with a hammer . . . the wind and rain made a brief appearance about the time the wedding dinner was in full swing.  Despite it all, everything actually went well.  There was joy . . . dancing . . . laughter . . . storytelling with toasts . . . hugs . . . more laughter . . . silliness . . . and, a whole lot of love emanating from everyone gathered there.  Love for the bride and groom . . . and, one another.  There was even a remembrance for those whose lives were way too short and whose presence was deeply missed.  It was a good celebration . . . out of the chaos a dancing star was born.  The bride and groom became a family and our families grew by one.

It is out of the whirlwind that God often spoke and appeared.  It was out of the rainbow, after the flood that God covenanted with the people.  It was also out of the fire that God appeared and spoke to Moses.  Out of the whirlwind that God lead the people through the wilderness.  It was out of the wind that the Holy Spirit made its appearance and blessed those gathered.  It was out of the chaos that God made life on earth, created animals, and all of us.  Out of the chaos comes dancing starts . . .

God was presence in it all this past weekend of the wedding . . . weaving and moving . . . touching and prodding . . . whispering . . . assuring and reassuring.  God was present in the chaos.  Author Jeanette Winterson writes, “In the space between the chaos and shape there was another chance.”  Isn’t that what God is all about . . . another chance?  Isn’t that what weddings are about . . . reminding those of who are gathered, maybe even more than those getting married . . . that there is another chance . . . always another chance when God is involved.  Another chance to be a dancing star.

I think that we all forget that.  It is good to be reminded of that every once in a while . . . I want to thank my youngest son and our newest daughter (in-law) for allowing us to be a part of this special day . . . I am not sure who received the bigger blessing, the couple or those gathered.  Yeah, we clergy have poor memories and keep doing weddings over and over again . . . but we never get bored watching the birth of a new family . . . a dancing star was born out of the chaos . . . may it have a long, beautiful life.  There are more stars to be born . . . the chaos is just beginning, but that is another blog for another time.  Congratulations guys . . . we love you both!