Nomophobia

The wife says we spend too much time on our cell phones.  When visiting our grandchildren we are placed on a strict “no cell phones” diet.  By the time I retired from the ministry with its weekly worship service, I had grown tired of the cell phone interruptions in the middle of the sermon.  During my commute to my job at the university I am amazed at the number of drivers on their cell phones--I would say close to fifty percent of the drivers.  I should know because I got off my cell phone and counted them while driving.

 

Cell phones are everywhere, and they are becoming a bane to humanity.  If that sounds too brash of a statement, then I will claim it for myself and leave the rest of humanity out of it.  But I think there are a lot who would agree with me—it is a crisis boiling.

 

Looking on my cell phone, I discovered that the average American spends five hours and 24 minutes on their phones every day.  Fifty-seven percent of Americans consider themselves as “phone addicts”.  Another word for that is nomophobia.  Half of the Internet traffic (50.55%) comes from mobile phones.  An average American checks their phone around 96 times a day.

 

Nearly five-and-a-half hours!  That is a big chunk of the day . . . a big chunk of life when added up over a lifetime.  Consider that we humans need at least eight hours of sleep, work an average of eight hours, spend at least an hour eating, have numerous hours dedicated to exercising, relaxing, doing chores, and whatever else we can get done—all in a 24-hour period.  There are not enough hours in a day—yet we find time for 5.5 cell time.

 

Something has got to give.  Thus, the conversation on our cell phone usage between the wife and me.  Of course, being 100% male, I went on the defense when there is a perceived criticism.  There is no way I wallow for five-and-a-half hours on my phone a day.  I am better than that.  Shoot!  At the most I might only be on the phone for an hour or two (Wink!  Wink!)  In fact, I can prove it.

 

All cell phones have built-in applications (apps) that can do just about anything but feed the pets.  On cell phones there is an app that congregates usage.  The app measures how much time the user is spending on the cell.  It even breaks it down into categories according to the apps used and viewed.  All one must do is turn it on and the truth will be revealed.  Knowing that, I will stick to my façade and leave it at that.  I am not ready for the truth.

 

The problem is not just for my wife and me.  The problem is everywhere.  It is now becoming the reason for the downfall of civility and civilization according to many.  It affects everyone.  Sit in a public space and see for yourself . . . count the people with their faces planting squarely in their cell phones.  The problem is real . . . and the wife wanted a serious conversation about it.

 

One of the suggestions floating around is that folks schedule themselves a holiday away from their cell phones.  A recess.  A sabbatical.  A vacation.  Just put the cell phone away.  Take a break.  The wife thought this was a great idea and was raring to jump on the bandwagon.

 

I cringed at the idea.

 

Even though I do not see myself as having a problem with screen time, the suggestion of turning off my cell phone for any length of time makes me anxious.  It is a big challenge.  Going cold turkey.  I shudder and shake just thinking about it.  My wife got that look on her face as she stared me down—addiction!  Nomophobia!

 

Okay, I admit . . . I see my cell phone as a useful tool.  It is a sort of technological Swiss Army knife—it does everything!  It does so much for me on a daily basis:

·        Mail . . . or in this case, email.  I have both my personal and work email accounts connected to my phone.  I check both on a regular basis—morning, noon, and night each and every day.  I never know when I might receive something important.  How else am I going to know when that widow of a British officer sends me a million-dollar gift if I just work with the Ethiopian lawyer to make all the arrangements.  Or the countless offers and announcements that I have won the Loser’s Lottery.  Or the many invoices for products that I never ordered.  Countless newsletters that I have no idea how I signed up for them.  Even proposals for marriage.  Even, on occasion, real emails needing my attention.  Heavens knows what life would be like without my two hundred plus emails a day.

·        Text messages . . . though few and far between, I do get them.  Typically, they are from family . . . children sending a joke or vague message, the wife sending silly video clips and links to products she thinks “we” need.  Without my cell phone how would I keep in touch?

·        Facebook and Instagram.  Where else am I going to learn about the fantastic, alluring, and excitement infused adventures of the hand-full of friends I have?  Where else can I read their political rants, their “Jesus saves” messages, and see cute puppy dog postings?  Or pictures of children and grandchildren—all above average?  To see how much better everyone else’s lives are better than mine.  Plus, all those memes and video clips called “reels”!  All the false news!  My life is incomplete without Facebook, Instagram, and whatever is the hottest social media.

·        Games.  Though most of the games on my phone are there for the grandchildren, I do have a few games that are just for me.  They are there for my intellectual development and wellness of the mind.  At least that is what the advertisements for the games tell me.  If I play these games, I will live longer.  Who doesn’t want to live longer?  Without my cell phone and its games . . . well, I see the end coming sooner than later.

·        Apps.  These little boogers have made my life easier.  I have an app that: tells time, weather, road conditions, what my heart rate is, how many steps I have taken, how many calories I have eaten and burned, how to get places (complete with maps and verbal directions), provide entertainment like shows and movies, plays music, finds out information, dictionaries, critter identification . . . shoot!  My phone is practically a library.  I’d have to rent a truck to haul all this information around.  And it’s all on my little old phone.

·        Camera.  I’m Johnny on the spot with the camera on my phone.  I can take pictures and make videos.  I can capture the moment.  Provide live-up-to-the-minute visual proof.  Besides I can also share with everyone what I have eaten morning, noon, and night.  Who am I to deprive anyone of that pleasure?

·        Internet.  My cell phone is a computer hooked up to the Worldwide Web.  It is my source of all knowledge and information known and unknown to humanity.  It is my fact-checker.  It is my resource for all those inquiring questions . . . like, how many hours does the average American spend on their cell phone?  What is nomophobia?  Without my cell phone I’d be an idiot and could run for political office.

·        Calls.  Plus, I can actually make phone calls with my cell.  It lets me reach out and touch someone.  I can do it like a regular phone call or like Dick Tracy or the Jetson through video.  How cool is that!  Let’s me call all ten of the ones I love.  Imagine that . . . a cell phone that is actually a phone!

And it lets me do so much more.  Plus, it fits in the palm of my hand, and I can carry it in my pants pocket.  How could I ever live without this useful, resourceful, life improving tool?  How did I ever manage before there were cell phones?

 

I don’t know.  I can’t imagine my life without it.  Well, yes, I can . . . bleak.  Now do you understand my anxiousness in surrendering my phone for any length of time.  How would I ever validate myself as a contributing member of society . . . or at least to the cell phone companies.

 

True, five-and-a-half hours is a huge chunk of my day.  Surely, I can give something up.  I could sleep less . . . maybe four hours instead of eight.  What’s a little sleep deprivation?  I could throw away that hour I spend eating.  Besides, I need to lose a little weight.  I could quit or retire completely from work.  That would free up a whole bunch of hours.  Who needs things—food, shelter?  Surely, there is some way I could free up my life to incorporate five-and-a-half hours on a daily basis.

 

Oh no!

 

Look at me!

 

I am nomophobic . . . I am addicted!  The signs are all there.  First, there was the denial.  Then came the rationalization.  Next was bargaining.  There were physical signs . . . shuddering and shaking . . . anxiousness.

 

Oh my God!  I am addicted!

It is true.  Intervention might be my only hope.  Rehab might be needed.  Send me to the Elon Musk Nomophobia Treatment Center on the moon.  Oh, the shame!  Oh, the guilt!

 

Wait a minute . . . my phone is ringing.  There I go again.  I’m a backslider.  Is there any hope for me?  Give me a minute and I will see what my phone says . . . oops!  Maybe it is not that big of an issue, after all . . . everyone is doing it.  Also, my phone tells me that denial is the number one pastime of Americans.  My phone never lies to me.  It is my friend.  Just ask Seri, she will tell you.

 

Maybe say a prayer for me . . . for everyone.  I am sure you can find one on your phone.

 

Even an App for That

The guys who do technology workshops for me at the university assure me that they make apps for everything.  I always took that with a grain of salt . . . but, it looks like they are telling the truth.  They really do make apps for just about everything under the sun . . . including medical care.  According to the most recent issue of Time magazine, you can now get medical care wherever you happen to have your cell phone. 

Years ago . . . and, I mean years ago . . . when I first started in the ministry I went to visit one of the members of the congregation I was serving out in the country.  While I was visiting she told me that she had an appointment to get her heart pacemaker checked out to see if it was operating properly.  She picked up her phone, dialed a number, spoke a few words to a person on the other end of the line, and then she placed the phone against her chest . . . after a couple of minutes, she again spoke to a person on the other end, and then hung up.  “Everything is fine!” she exclaimed.  The pacemaker was working like a charm.  She then explained that the doctor could check the pacemaker over the phone, saving her several hours of making the round trip to the doctor’s office about a hundred miles down the road.  I was amazed at the technology involved in that . . . that was over thirty years ago!

Telemedicine has changed a lot since then.

According to the article in Time magazine there are now numerous apps for the cell phone to get doctoring.  Of course, these apps run the gamut of what a person can actually get . . . from a sort of “ask the nurse” app to an actual doctor talking to you.  And, of course, these apps range in price from being free to up to $40 per use if you actually see a doctor.  According to the article, everyone who is using the apps are pleased.  It is a cheap alternative for those seeking care when compared to what a regular visit would cost in money and time . . . usually costing less and not having to mess with insurance.  For doctors the apps are a means of building a public profile, attracting new patients, and making a little extra money on the side when they are not busy.  And, for hospitals . . . well, it is a means of streamlining care for existing patients . . . medical staff is not wasting time with minor health care issues and spending more time with those patients who need it.  It is a win/win situation for everyone involved.  Even Doctor Phil endorses medical care apps . . . he is a spokesperson for Doctor on Demand.

The executive director of the health care consultancy, IMS Institute, states, “We are going to see a major shift in how medicine is practiced and where.”  But . . . are we ready?  I am not too sure that I am ready for this shift in medical care.

I remember seeing a cartoon once in which a man was watching a tele-evangelist pleading for people watching him on television to put the part of the body that was ailing them up to the television screen for healing.  In the next frame of the cartoon strip the man has dropped his pants, pressed his cheeks (of the buttocks-type) against the glass of his television screen . . . he wanted his hemorrhoids healed.  Even in this age of “selfies”, I cannot imagine myself sitting on my cell phone to give the doctor a good picture of my hemorrhoids.  I also cannot imagine using the app, getting a doctor to look at my “owie”, and having the doctor kiss it through the screen on the cell phone.

Yet, in the article, that is just about what one guy did.  He grabbed his phone, opened his medical app, and had a video chat with a doctor in real time.  After the doctor examined the pictures that this guy sent him, he diagnosed a sprain knee . . . set up a real appointment . . . and, charged him for his services.  The guy never left the comfort or the confines of his couch . . . saving time and money.  Look out, Doc, I’m sending a few Instagrams of those hemorrhoids!

Of course, this new telemedicine has its shortcoming . . . hemorrhoids, being one.  Primarily, these new apps are good for diagnosing routine illnesses like the flu and assessing minor injuries; they are not good for more serious illnesses and ailments.  They are not good for heart attacks, strokes, and cancer treatment . . . they are also not good for getting prescriptions since the doctor doesn’t really know the individual nor his or her medical history.  Apparently this has already led to some malpractice suits . . . there is probably app for that too!

I presently have two health issues that I am dealing with in my life . . . both involve taking periodical blood tests.  There is not an app for blood tests that I could find . . . and, I don’t think smearing a little of my blood onto the screen of my cell phone is going to get me the results that the doctor needs.  Nope, I still have to do my doctoring the old fashion way . . . thirty minutes waits, tons of paperwork, stripping down and wearing one of those hospital gowns that expose the southern extremities and freezes the cheeks when sitting on the vinyl, and having a five minute chat with the actual doctor.  Then there is paying the bill, haggling with the insurance company, and thanking God that I didn’t drop anything in the examination room that I would need to bend over and pick up while the nurse was there.

As Bob Dylan sings, “The times they are a’changing.”  As much as I like technology, I do not think that an app is going to replace my doctor . . . or my dentist . . . or my car mechanic . . . or my chiropractor . . . or pharmacist . . . at least not yet.  I am sure that they are working on creating apps that do all of those things, but I am not sold . . . yet.  When they can create an app for the dentist that is painless and cheap . . . I might consider downloading one.  In the meantime, I am thinking about going back to a regular cell phone . . . not a smart phone.  That would solve a lot of the problems for me . . .