Canned

According to the swan song commercial of the E*Trade baby he is quitting his lucrative run as the image of the online digital discount broker because he cannot work with a talking cat as a sidekick.  You can watch the diminutive spokesperson’s tirade on YouTube here.  That is the official story that the company is going with . . . but rumor has it that the little guy was canned . . . fired . . . put out to pasture as being a thing of the past.  According to an article on MSN News website, the company wants to update its image and believes that the iconic baby has served its purpose . . . the company wants to grow up . . . at least make it into the wonder years of being a teenager!

Babies have a certain way that they tug at the heartstrings of people.  Babies are cute . . . babies are cuddly . . . and, babies that give stock tips and speak in a baritone voice; well, they grab the attention of people.  E*Trade got exactly what it wanted from the little guy for seven years . . . lots of attention . . . lots of business.  The reality, though, is that babies and puppies grow up and they are not so cute and cuddly as they get older . . . even if they have baritone voices and know their stock markets.  The truth is that the kid got too big for his diapers.  The advertisements ran for a little over seven years before this reported break between the company and actor.

That’s right . . . actor.  The baby was an actor . . . an actor that acted and spoke whatever the script said.  An actor . . . nothing more, nothing less.  The kid did what the kid was supposed to do.  The kid was not a financial genius or stock wizard at two-foot tall; nope, just an actor reading lines.  Though the commercials were clever, witty, and cute, I had a difficult time taking serious the idea that I was going to invest my lifetime savings with some company that used a baby for a spokesperson.  I don’t think that I was the only person who had this problem; and, because I wasn’t the only one with this problem, the company took notice . . . it was time to can the kid and grow up.

Now, I know that all of us should be upset and sad that the tike got canned, but I am sure that the kid was well compensated for the seven-some years that he was the spokesperson for E*Trade.  At least I hope so.  I also hope that he hasn’t fallen into the misfortunates of other child actors who made it big in their infancy.  I hope that he has taken his own advice and invested his earnings well so that he lives a free and easy life from here on out.  I really do hope that I don’t see stories and news reports of the kid acting like a brat creating all sorts of terrible scenarios like some people we know . . . I don’t want to mention names, Justin . . . but, you know what I mean.  The bottom line is that I cannot be upset and sad for the little guy . . . the rich little guy.  True, it is hard to fall from the top, but he is young and there is a whole lot of life in front of him . . . plus, he is rich.  Being rich often helps ease the pain of disappointment.

It is a changing of the guard.  Like many, I will miss the little guy hawking the benefits of E*Trade . . . it was amusing entertainment while it lasted.  The little guy will laugh all the way to the bank . . . the company will attempt to create another iconic image . . . and, we, the people, will still be bewildered in what any of these silly commercials have to do with investing our hard-earned money with these companies.  Like the dancing baby from that gained fame and fortune on Ally McBeal, all babies grow up . . . life goes on.  The kid had more than his fifteen minutes of fame . . . and, was well paid for it.

Sad and upset?  No.  The kid was lucky.  We were all cute and smart when we were babies . . . after all, we are all the children of Lake Wobegon . . . we just weren’t in the right place at the right time when opportunity came knocking.  Now, if E*Trade is willing to take a risk on an older middle-aged guy, balding with a spare tire around the middle he has nick-named “Dunlop”, who lives in rural Montana . . . well, I am that guy!  I can read and act as well as any baby.  All I ask for is a chance . . . isn’t that what we all ask for in the end?   For that, I applaud the kid’s demise . . . E*Trade knows where they can find me.