Welcome to Big Old Goofy World . . . a place where I can share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams about this rock that we live on and call home.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Kind of Like My Odds

One in 4,294,967,296 of winning . . . I kind of like my odds at winning this year’s March Madness basketball brackets.  The payout . . . a cool one billion dollars.  Yeah, you read that correctly . . . one billion dollars.  Billionaire Warren Buffet  and Quicken Loans are offering a billion dollars to anyone who can pick a perfect bracket . . . that means picking the winners of all 63 games in this year’s NCAA men’s college basketball tournament.  They will pay any person who picks a perfect bracket one billion dollars . . . either in 40 annual installments of $25 million or a lump sum payment of $500 million . . . I will take my winnings in the annual installment plan.  That is how much I like my odds of winning . . . only one in 4,294,967,296.

I have already informed the family that I will be willing to share the wealth once I win . . . I think I will be able to afford to spread a couple of million here and there to help everyone out.  I have also contacted the bank to see whether or not they can handle the annual deposits of $25 million . . . they are checking into it as they have never had anyone make a deposit that big before.  That should get a whole bunch of free toasters!  I have not informed the Internal Revenue Service yet . . . I am sure they will know well before I ever get the first check for winning . . . they will probably take half of it before it ever hits the bank.  But, the point is, I am already making the necessary plans to receive my financial windfall when I win.  Heck, it is only one in 4,294,967,296 . . . pretty darn good odds!

Well, maybe they are not the best odds . . . but, I like them.  I imagine that I would have better odds of bowling a perfect game at 11,500 to one.  If I played golf, the odds that I would get a hole in one is only 5,000 to one.  Dating a super model (these are really lousy odds because the wife has already told me, NO!) is 88,000 to one.  This is would be a good one if they were offering a billion dollars . . . drowning in a bathtub is 685,000 to one . . . good thing I only take showers.  This one I would have won a long time ago . . . getting hemorrhoids at 25 to one.  At 11,500 to one, I have a better chance of winning an Academy Award.  Striking it rich on Antique Roadshow is 60,000 to one . . . getting a ticket to be on Antique Roadshow is like a billion to one.  Yeah, there are things out there with better odds than picking a perfect bracket in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament; but, I just have that feeling that this is my year.

Shoot!  I have never won anything . . . it is my turn.  I can just feel it.  Now, all I have to do is play . . . me and the first ten million people to submit a bracket when they open up on March 3rd.  Plus, I have to be faster than the rest of the family in the house . . . there is only one bracket per household.  I have already threatened my family that I will cut them out if they submit a bracket from our address . . . just more money for me!  Whatever the case, I want to make sure that I submit a bracket.  I do not want to be like the guy who kept praying to God to help him win the lottery . . . finally God had to tell the guy that he had to buy a ticket if he wanted God’s help in winning.  I will get a bracket in . . . come hell or high water or even knocking off a few of my children . . . I will be one of the ten million.

Now, you are probably thinking that I am a fool for even thinking that I could ever pick a perfect bracket . . . that I would ever win a billion dollars; but, this is a no lose situation.  Let me explain.  Buffet is a smart business person and he is going into this knowing his risk.  He has already stated that he would probably strike a deal with potential winners before they actually get to the final game . . . or, as he stated, “I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.”  I have decided that I would save Mr. Buffet a whole lot of time and effort by striking a deal with him now . . . I’ll take a cool couple of thousand right now.  If he would do that, I won’t enter the contest.  Sounds good to me.  We both win! 

With a couple of thousand I can take the wife on a vacation . . . feed the whole family at Red Lobster . . . drop a little in the collection plate at church . . . and, still have enough left over for lunch a couple of times at work.  Either way, how can I lose?  I get some cash either way . . . even at 4,294,967,296 to one odds.  I kind like my chances . . . I’m putting all my money on the Cornell Big Red!  Go Big Red . . . a billion dollars is riding on you!

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