We have had a bird problem around the Keener homestead for awhile . . . namely Pinyon Jays. Pinyon Jays are a beautiful gray-blue bird that are the Piranha of the avian family . . . they are the Hell’s Angels of the bird family. Alone, they are a joy to witness . . . in the forty to fifty number packs that they travel in . . . well, they are the Hell’s Angels. They bully the other birds away from the feeders . . . they act as if they haven’t eaten in weeks . . . and, they clean out ever bird feeder in the yard in minutes. They have been a problem for awhile . . . and, the wife decided it was time to take matters into her own hands.
We have a wonderful collection of birds that visit the Keener Buffet for Aves. We have a wide array all year round, but right now we are into the hardy birds . . . black-capped Chickadees, House Finches, Nuthatch, Cassin’s Finches, Juncos, Magpies, Mourning Doves, Hairy Woodpeckers, Downy Woodpeckers, Northern Flickers, and . . . Pinyon Jays. The Pinyon Jays ruin it all as they flock down en masse like the plague scaring all the other birds away through their mere numbers and frantic feeding. They are the feathered Piranhas of the air! And, as I said, the wife had had enough! She went out and bought new bird feeders.
These new feeders are Pinyon Jay proof as they are too bird to get through the wire cage surrounding the actual feeder . . . only the small birds get through. For the woodpeckers the suet is placed in such a way that, again, the Pinyon Jays cannot get to the actual suet . . . but the woodpeckers seem to know the way to the buffet. Surprisingly, the new feeders work . . . the Pinyon Jays have been held at bay in the front yard . . . but, the other birds have not been too thrilled with the changes . . . they haven’t quite figured out the new feeders. The result . . . we now have fewer birds checking in at the Keener buffet . . . and, I miss the birds.
The wife is happy though . . . she no longer has to go out into the yard in freezing weather to yell at the marauders to leave . . . she no longer has to wear the mantle of being the neighborhood weirdo (the “Bird Lady of Joliet”). She is happy that the Pinyon Jays have transferred their efforts from the front yard to the back yard . . . in the backyard she can wear her bathrobe and yell all she wants . . . no one sees her! But, I miss the birds. They have been slow in figuring out the new feeding system. They flock down . . . sit in the branches . . . staring . . . wondering . . . how in the world are we supposed to eat?
Now, I know that we humans do not handle change well . . . and, I suppose that the critters of God’s kingdom do not handle it much better than we humans do. I imagine that flying into the front yard and encountering new bird feeders probably threw them off of their usual game. And, like people, they show their discontent with change by not showing up. They give the new buffet a one star rating! One star ratings do not bring the crowds that a free-for-all five star buffer bring. But, I have to keep reminding myself . . . the wife is happy! There is a saying that any male who is married understands . . . if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! That is what I keep telling myself.
It has now been a little over a week since the change has taken place. The wife reports that the Pinyon Jays have given up on the feeders in the front yard . . . and, she tells me that the other birds are beginning to figure it out. She tells me that they will return . . . to be patient. And, she has been right . . . the birds are returning minus the avian Hell’s Angels . . . but not in the numbers I was accustomed to. I guess that they will eventually return, but I miss what we once had.
The wife tells me to “suck it up.” But, like the birds . . . I do not care too much for change. Get rid of one problem and create another . . . the Bird Lady of Joliet is happy . . . I have to keep reminding myself of this. If Mama is happy . . . everyone is happy. Even the birds are beginning to figure that one out.