Flushing It Down

It dawned on me the other day as I was in the family library and spied the roll of toilet paper being down to its last two to three sheets, that something was amiss.  First, it dawned on me that whoever last used the library to take care of business had purposefully left the end of the roll for whoever was next to change.  It seems to be me most often and I am a slow observer at times as I did not see this until it came time to complete the paperwork!  Of course we keep the extra rolls of toilet paper in the closet on the other side of the library and everyone knows three sheets isn't going to cut the job!

But I got over it.  Then I noticed that pretty much there is a reason no one ever uses the last two or three sheets--it is because they are glued down to the cardboard tube.  Any attempt at removing these last two or three sheets results in nesting material for the house's mice.  No, we don't have mice!  Shreds of paper that are pretty worthless for what they are designed to do.  Because most people know this--including the inhabitants in our house--the whole thing is pitched into the trash so the next roll can be put into place for use.  This pretty much happens on each roll as there seems to be some glue-happy person at the toilet paper factory who relishes sticking those last two or three sheets to the cardboard tube so that they are useless.

Now, I am not some sort of tree hugger or really that big into conservation, but I do think that we should do our parts.  Saying that I want everyone to know that I draw the line at using shredded toilet paper to complete my paper work.  So the nearly empty roll goes in the trash.  At the same time, I am cheap and think that saving money here and there is a good thing.  Most folks know that the costliest items bought in a grocery store are the paper items--paper napkins, paper cups, paper towels, and toilet paper.  That is when it dawned on me as I was throwing the end of the line roll into the trash--I was throwing money away!

So, it got me to thinking and I did a little research.  There are 264 sheets of paper on each toilet paper roll.  A roll of toilet paper costs around a dollar a roll for semi-good stuff.  With each roll there is typically an average of three sheets that stick to the tube resulting in it being thrown away.  It would take 88 rolls of toilet paper being used before one would have thrown the equivalent of a whole roll away thanks to those three sheets that are stuck to the tube.  Every 88 rolls one whole roll is thrown away and never used.  Basically that is throwing a dollar down the toilet!  I figure the family is throwing about five bucks down the toilet every year!  And, I figure that we have probably been doing that for at least 30 years--that's $150 down the ol' can!  Here in Montana that can buy a lot of micro brewed beer!

I think that Scots, Charmin, and all the other companies that make toilet paper know this and see it as straight profit for them.  I think that it is a conspiracy to take the consumer to the outhouse!  Think about it . . . you've seen those glue lines on the toilet paper.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I think they are out to get us.  But I'm not going to let them get the best of me . . . nope!  I am going to figure a way to get those last three sheets off without tearing them up--so that they are useable.  Hey, we are talking a dollar here!  A dollar is a dollar!