The Annual Christmas Dilemma

Every once in a while I get a wild hair and think that I want to do something romantic for the wife at Christmas-time.  I think it happened yesterday, shortly after lunch, when I felt a nap coming on and had no place private to catch a few Zs at work.  I was in a sort of dream -like trance fading in and out of reality but then again it could have been the fried pork chop sandwich I had for lunch.  Either way I let my romantic fantasies take over and I thought--the "twelve days of Christmas"!  How much more romantic can a guy than giving his beloved the gifts from the Twelve Days of Christmas?

That romantic feeling didn't last too long . . . it sort of deflated after I found out the cost of purchasing all of those gifts listed in the Twelve Days of Christmas--it weren't cheap!  Now this is what you have to understand about the song, each day (each verse) those items are adding up and keep adding up until there is a total of 364 gifts.  Yeah, 364 gifts!  That's for a complete set from the first day of Christmas to the twelfth day of Christmas doing exactly what each verse says and repeats.  According to annual Christmas Price Index compiled by PNC Wealth Management that would come out to a nifty sum of $101,119 or approximately $277.80 per item.  The average cost per day to purchase these wonderfully romantic gifts over the twelve days of Christmas would only set me back $8,426.58.  Talk about sticker shock!  I love my wife, but . . . a $101,119 worth!

I had to think about this one . . . and, I did.  My solution?  I'd take the cheaper road to her heart--I'd buy her only one set of the gifts.  Symbolic and all that stuff, you know?  So, I went to searching about how much this little romantic fling would set me back.  Much to my surprise--jaw-dropping surprise--the price was only $24,263 for buying just one set of each verse in the song according to the annual Christmas Price Index compiled by PNC Wealth Management.  The romance balloon was popped!  Again, I love my wife, but I was thinking of a much lower price range--one where I wouldn't have to take out a second mortgage on the house.

So, it's back to the drawing board much as it is every year when it comes to getting the wife a Christmas present.  I am not very good at this romantic Christmas present stuff.  Over the years I have learned that pots and pans don't qualify as romantic no matter how much they are needed.  I have learned that computer programs to simplify her life are not appreciated.  I also know that a snow shovel or winter gear for the truck are not wanted.  I have also learned not to buy the wife clothes--we have different styles of clothing that we think are nice.  Wine is nice, but that is considered a stocking stuffer, and besides that is more of a gift for both of us.  I don't think she wants a beer brewing kit . . . the wife is one tough cookie to get a Christmas present for, much less a romantic Christmas present.

Thus, to not break with my annual Christmas tradition that began 30 years ago when the wife and I got married, I will strike up the romantic notion as some sort of passing gastronomical condition and do what I normally do--procrastinate!  I will stew and sweat over that "perfect" gift for the wife that allows her to know how much I love her (without busting the bank), appreciate her, and want to make her happy.  I'm thinking in the hundred dollar range--anyone know of any romantic gifts in that price range?  And, no, a new set of tires doesn't count!  I have plenty of time as it is only 25 more shopping days until Christmas!  I don't want to rush into things, you know!