On Facebook there is an activity that subscribers can play called "21 Questions". Basically the idea is that people/friends can answer questions about the people/friends they know on Facebook. Like any of the other multitude of games and activities that Facebook offers to fill wall space on their site, I have blocked this particular activity from appearing on my wall. Despite my blocking of this activity from my wall it has not stopped people from answering question about me--or what they think they know about me. I was shocked the other day when I clicked on that particular app and discovered that there were 57 questions answered about what people thought they knew about me. It was both humbling and embarrassing. And, there was also some misinformation about me. So, I am here today to clear up some of the myths and fallacies about who I am.
First, appearances. I want to thank all of those who answered questions about my cleanliness and how I looked. Yes, I do take daily showers--brush my teeth several times a day--use deodorant--comb my hair (what hair I have left)--put on clean clothes daily--and attempt to dress nicely. I especially appreciate those who say that I dress nicely. I agree with those who stated that I would not look good in a pair of tights or a mini skirt, but I appreciate those who do. For those who thought I would look good in a mini skirt . . . well, you might want to check your eye glasses. For the person who stated that I have eaten a booger I can only say that if I did it was not on purpose--I'm not into green, slimy stuff as a food source. And finally, I do not sing in the shower! If you have ever heard me sing you would know why--there are laws against noise pollution.
Perceptions often can be wrong. Folks need to understand that there is a fine line between intelligence--or the appearance of intelligence--and bull. Apparently there are many of you out there who do not know the difference. It seems that there are those of you out there who seem to think that I am fairly smart . . . remember, perceptions can be deceiving. I do not know what I scored on my SAT test, or even if they had the SAT test when I went to high school in the dark ages, but if you want to think that I scored over 1500 on it . . . well, more power to you. As for the individual who thought that I was smarter than him or her--don't believe it! Don't let all my intellectual razzle and dazzle fool you, it more the baffle of bull that has swayed you. The fifth graders on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader kick my butt--the questions they anser were the ones that I answered on the SAT to score higher than 1500!
Being an introvert I figured people would have a hard defining how well I relate to others. For the most part I try to leave people alone and let them live--it takes me a little time to warm up to people. Yeah, I know, ministers are suppose to be "people" persons, but there is always one who throws the demographics off--I am that one! It's not that I don't like people, it just takes me a while to warm up to them. Once I get to know them things are different. My relationships with the opposite sex are good--I like females and yes I have kissed a girl (though I have never kissed a guy--thanks to whoever answered that one). I get along with females quite well and presently work in an office where all the rest of the 12 employees are female. In my last assignment at work I was the only male in the project dealing with domestic violence. They once sent me to a conference in which I was the only male out of the 250 attendees. Making that situation worse was the fact that the conference was being held in a convention center where there was a breast feeding conference with over 500 women in attendance. Talk about being a boob out of place! Yeah, I like females--it is kind of a matter of life and death when you are the only male in a group of 750!
In all relationships there is tension, stress, and moments of great disagreement--that's what makes it a relationship! I have had those moments in some of the relationships I have had over the years. I was disappointed to learn that there were those of you out there who thought I had never been in a fist fight. The truth is I have been in two fist fights--one out of ignorance and the other out of anger. My fight record, depending on who you ask, is either one win and one split decision--OR--one win, one loss. My first fight was with the school bus bully who tormented me to no end. Billy Zapor was a big, mean kid who loved to pick on little, skinny me. Finally I had had enough and told him to knock it off or else we'd settle the matter once we got off the bus. He just laughed. I knew that my only chance against the brute was to get the first punch in, which I did--right in his mouth full of braces. This only encouraged him even more to pound me into a pulp. I hurt for days after that beating, but surprisingly the bully declared it a draw. Who was I to argue with him. After that no body wanted to mess with me because I was that crazy kid who took on Billy Zapor! The second fight was with a friend who finally had it coming--two quick punches and it was over. Changed our relationship for good. Though I do not condone violence, I have resorted to violence when nothing else was available. For the person who thought I would not hit a girl--WRONG! Girls can be bullies too and a person has to protect him or herself. But, truth be known, I have never hit a girl despite wanting to a time or two!
Though I love sports, I have never thought of myself as an athlete. Through junior high school I participated in football, basketball, wrestling (one season was enough to convince me that looking at the ceiling flat on my back on a mat wasn't for me), and track. I had the most success in track and by the time I got to high school running became my sport. I ran track and cross country all the way through my second year in college. I was never the best, nor was I the worse at any sport I attempted--except miniature golf. That is a game straight out of hell! So, I appreciate those of you who thought of me as being athletic. Yes, most of the time I can throw a football with a spiral--I can catch and throw a baseball--shoot and dribble a basketball--but I do not play anything that is related to golf. Extreme sports like bungee jumping--though I appreciate the person who said I would give it a shot--I doubt it. I do not understand the fascination of jumping off a perfectly good bridge with a rubber band wrapped around my feet.
About my driving skills . . . if speeding is driving five miles over the speed limit, then yes there have been times when I have broken the speed limit, but hey, have you ever driven across Nebraska or eastern Montana and Wyoming? If you have you understand the need for speed! I appreciate those who think that I own nice cars--I love my Volkswagen Jetta and Ford Ranger pick-up. They suit my tastes just fine and get me where I need to go. My temperament while driving varies from situation to situation, but lets just say that I learned to drive from my father and he drove fast with a running commentary about all the other drivers. Which brings me to whether or not I can curse like a sailor--whoever said yes must know me well. I'm also pretty fluent in sign language when I drive. Thankfully we have a forgiving God because there are times when I drive that I need that.
As for everything else people thought they knew about me: Yes, I am funny if not funny looking . . . we all have secrets and I have more than my fair share of them, wouldn't you like to know . . . I am disappointed no one had a crush on me, despite having a face that others besides my mother would love and being better looking than Rosie O'Donnell . . . Yes, I do have good credit but that and two bits will only get you a cup of coffee in Montana . . . I appreciate those who appreciated that I don't lie to them, cheat on them, steal from them, and see me as a reliable, non-greedy person who would make a good friend . . . I'm glad that there are those of you out there who see me as religious, it helps when one makes a living as a minister . . . No, I do not like to dance unless I have had a few beers and the music is not rap . . . I've never skinny dipped . . . I do not sing karaoke--Montana has an ordinance that states I have to stand five feet from any microphone whenever I sing . . . I am nor a pervert nor will I ever be one . . . I have had long nights, but not to the point that I would admit that it was an all nighter! And, yes, I did vote for Obama--one of two votes he garnered in Montana.
So, there you have it--a little bit about me straight from the source. I hope that this helped to displace some of the myths, rumors, and lies about who I am that one might get from reading the answers to "21 Questions" on Facebook that people have answered about me. Again, you may disagreed with what I have said, and you may know me better than I know myself, and that is okay. One of my favorite sayings is "Ignorance is bliss and I am one of the most blissful people I know." Hey! I didn't even know that these opinions about me were even out there until the other day! Now you know me.
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