Walking in My Sleep

A couple of times as a child I walked in my sleep.  At least that was the family myth.  I don’t remember it.  I was sleeping.  I have taken a few free falls in my sleep falling off the top bunk.  I remember these because they came with some extreme pain.  Now that I am older, I make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  Those are “calls of nature”.  I have never ignored “calls of nature”.  I prefer sleeping in a dry bed and so does the wife.

I tell you this because there is a lot of nocturnal activity in my life.  At least that is what the wife tells me.  She is quick to mention my snoring when it occurs . . . usually after a stressful day.  She will tell me when I toss and turn a lot . . . again, usually after a stressful day or anxiety about the next day.  She loves to tell me about conversations I have throughout the night with unknown entities.  Apparently, they are quite revealing.  She’ll question me about my dreams.  Several nights a week she will tell me I am a whirlwind of nighttime activity.

 

I guess I “go walking in my sleep” as Billy Joel sang several years ago in his song, River of Dreams.  My nocturnal wandering and nighttime activities is way older than his song.  I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.  Billy Joel just gave me a name for it.  It is ridiculous to say I have always dreamed because we all dream.  Some are us are just more aware of it than others . . . but, I have always dreamed.  Apparently, it keeps me entertained while I sleep.  I know that it entertains my wife.

 

Not all the night activities are for entertainment.  I will admit that there probably is a portion that is pure silliness and has entertainment value.  I will let you decide for yourself.  At the same time, I believe that there is a purpose to all these nocturnal gymnastics.  We are being spoken to.  You ask who is speaking to us?  Well, there can be a variety of potential conversation mates.  It could be our bodies giving us messages concerning our bodies and health . . . for example, the “call of nature” in the middle of the night.  Always seems that those dreams deal with flowing water and dams breaking!  It could be our minds attempting to sort out the details of our day or week or life.  How often have we stated that could not go to sleep because our minds were too active?  It could be our psyche—the “three stooges” (Id, Ego, and Super Ego) can be active.  For those of spiritual leanings it could be the soul.  I’m sure the soul has a few things it would like to tell us.  For people of faith, it could be the Spirit getting active and mouthy.  Even on a deeper level it might be what one terms as God . . . the Creator . . . the Holy . . . the Higher Power.  Whatever is speaking is for you to decide.

 

Whatever the case, come night, there is a regular party taking place where all the activities are vying for our attention.  Nighttime is the perfect time to come knocking on our doors . . . we are still.  We are asleep.  We are a captive audience.  We cannot escape.  It is then that we “go walking in our sleep”.  It is there that we are confronted, cajoled, jarred, shaken, and called into conversation with the “other”.

 

Maybe we should listen.  Listen to what is being said and shared.  I believe it will make a difference in our journeys.  After all, we are all looking for something.  The rock group, U2, tells us that we are continually searching for something: “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”  Searching for what we have not yet found.  Isn’t that the journey we call “life”?  So, we “go walking in the middle of the night.”

 

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

From the mountain of faith

To the river so deep

I must be looking for something

Something sacred I lost

But the river is wide

And it’s too hard to cross

 

There was a time when it was proclaimed that God was dead . . . that God no longer spoke to the people.  That conversation ebbs and flows throughout all generations.  It seems that we are in that space once again.  The truth is that God or whatever you want to call that Higher Power has never stopped talking to creation . . . to humanity . . . to us.  John Sanford, a Jungian analyst and Episcopalian priest, tells us that God has always spoken to us from the very beginning.  We just are not good listeners.  This premise is the basis of his two most popular books, The Kingdom Within and Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language.  Both books that I would highly recommend.  The author says we aren’t any different than the biblical characters God spoke to . . . Mary, Joseph, Peter, and even the reluctant Paul.  We just need to listen and claim our space.

 

It begins with “walking in our sleep in the middle of the night”.  I would recommend it.  That you give it a try.  I think you will be surprised at what you discover.  We are being spoken to all the time . . . even in our sleep.  We just need to learn to listen.  Think about it.  Sleep on it.  What do any of us have to lose . . . a little sleep?

 

The Bucket Drips

I hear people talk about “bucket lists” all of the time.  A “bucket list” is a list of things that people want to do before they die . . . things to do before one “kicks the bucket.”  Never really thought about it much . . . then I read an article about twelve things a person must do before he or she dies.  I was flabbergasted at the list . . . explore the Far East (by private jet, no less), eat a living thing, gamble more than you can afford, float the Grand Canyon, sleep in a tropical rain forest, drive a Ferrari (in Italy), see a sunset from Key West, record a record, climb an active volcano, hug a tree, make front page news, make my children’s life list my own, learn to sail, and many more.  I must be living in a different reality.  These “bucket list” items are out of my realm . . . at least most of them.

Explore the Far East in a private jet . . . shoot, I haven’t explored the town I have lived in for nearly six years yet.  I haven’t seen even an iota of the area of Montana I live in . . . not even in my car.  If they mean “far east” as being Miles City . . . well, I have that covered, though not in a private jet. 

Eat a living thing . . . do a few bugs flying into my mouth while walking, running, or driving with the windows open in the car count?  I like my food cooked . . . not crawling on my plate.

Gamble more than I can afford . . . isn’t that called life?  If you are living, the odds are you are probably gambling more than you can afford.  That is the American Dream.

Float the Grand Canyon . . . I can’t even float the bathtub!

Sleep in a tropical rain forest.  I have lived in Panama for a couple of months, been to Gaum . . . tropical life is not for me.  Too humid, lots of lizards crawling around in the house to kill the bugs.  Besides, I would just like to get a good night’s sleep in my own bed.

Drive a Ferrari in Italy . . . I would be happy to drive one in Montana.  The bigger task is finding one.

A sunset in Key West . . . probably couldn’t beat a sunset in Big Sky Country . . . especially when the sun is setting behind a herd of bull elk in July.

Record a record.  That one made me laugh.  There are laws against noise pollution . . . ask any member of a church I have served as a minister and they will tell you . . .

Climb an active volcano.  Well, I guess I am as close to doing that as I can be without leaving home.  Those of us on the edges of the Yellowstone ecosystem know that we are basically living on top of a huge volcano . . . a huge volcano that if it were to erupt would send us all to the great beyond. 

Hug a tree.  I have probably hugged more than my fair share of trees growing up . . . probably not for reasons I would want people to know.  Usually had something to do with the “spirit” moving through me . . . liquid spirit that is.

Make front page news . . . not really something that one wants to do as a minister.  Most the front page news I read usually has to do with things that none of us would ever want anyone else to know.

Learn to sail . . . naw, I will stay on dry land.  I have no inkling to go sailing or to learn to sail.  Sounds expensive . . . besides, I do not look good dress in white.  I am more of a grayish sort of guy.

Making my children’s life list my list.  Yeah, get real.  I want to live, not die.

I never really gave much thought about things I wanted to do before I died.  Oh sure, there are a few dreams that I had.  I wanted to hike the Appalachian Trial.  The Appalachian Trail always fascinated me . . . the great outdoors fascinated me . . . but, I live in Montana.  Montana’s beauty rivals that of the Appalachian Trail and I haven’t even scratched the surface of what is around me.  But I would be lying if I did not admit that the Appalachian Trail still hangs out in my rock garden.  I’d love to go to Ireland, but I am happy in any Irish pub no matter where it might be.  Always wanted to run the Boston Marathon, but now I am satisfied if I can walk around the block.  I never considered any of these things as being a part of a “bucket list” that I needed to accomplished before I died . . . probably because most of them would kill me in the first place.  I have never really developed a “bucket list” . . . and, if I used these suggestions in the article I read . . . well, my bucket would probably have more than a few leaks!

As I have gotten older I have to admit that there are things I think about that I hope I accomplish before I die.  Not so much a “bucket list”, but a few things I hope happen before I “kick the bucket”.  They are nothing spectacular, but important to me none the less.

I hope to see my grandchildren grow up and start their own families.  That is probably my greatest desire . . . to grow with my grandchildren.  Right now there is the one granddaughter . . . coolest little person I know; but, she will soon be joined with a sister in a couple of weeks.  If this new grandchild is half as cool as the first . . . well, I will be tickled to death.  I cannot wait to meet the future grandchildren . . . it just seems that some of my children need to get down to business.  But, I am a fairly patient person . . . I can wait.  I just want them to know . . . the clock is ticking!  That is my greatest desire to accomplish before I die . . . that I have the opportunity to love my grandchildren . . . and, that they love me.

Another thing that I think about accomplishing before I die is to write a book.  Over the years I have been encouraged by others to write a book, but I haven’t written one yet.  Actually, I have.  After more than thirty years of ministry with a weekly sermon . . . I have written a book.  After more than thirty years of writing a weekly newsletter column . . . I have written a book.  After nearly three years of writing a blog ten times a month . . . I have written a book.  Throw in there countless  dapples at short stories, letters to the editor, and just musings . . . I have written a book.  The problem is that I need just need to sit down, organize all the stuff I have written, and make it into a book.  I could do it, but the problem I have with that is that I would need to rewrite, rewrite, and rewrite again to please some editor before it would ever get published.  Sounds like a lot of work . . . so, in the meantime, I contemplate the idea.  Hopefully I have a few more years!

Probably the last thing I want to do . . . well, it is simple.  I want to live . . . I want to live for as long as I can.  Plain and simple.  Both my parents died younger than they should have and I want to live longer.  Don’t we all?

I guess it is okay to have a “bucket list” . . . a list of things we all hope to accomplish before we die; but, I have never given it much thought.  I often think of how blessed I am to live the life I live.  I have a wonderful family that I enjoy for the most part . . . I live in a beautiful place that constantly gives me opportunities to stand in awe at God’s magnificence tough . . . I have a wife that loves me . . . a granddaughter that adores me . . . dogs that welcome me . . . a computer that allows me to write . . . a church I enjoy serving . . . and, each day an opportunity for blessing.  Taking care of that is more than fulfilling . . . so, who needs a “bucket list”.  It is in the moment that the blessing is held.  Why would I need more than I already have?

Walking in My Sleep

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

From the mountains of faith

To the river so deep

I must be lookin' for something

Something sacred i lost

(Billy Joel, River of Dreams)

God spoke to Jacob in dreams . . . God spoke to Joseph in dreams . . . two stories any good, devote follower of God should know--at least the Christian God.  The Bible is filled with stories about God speaking to the faithful through dreams and visions.  And, despite all of the biblical proof, we followers of Jesus today do not give much credence to dreams as a means of communication . . . as a means of communicating with God today.  Well, I content that it is time that the followers of Jesus wake up and consider their dreams . . . God is speaking . . . are you listening?

I have always thought that Billy Joel--knowingly or unknowingly--hit the nail on the head when he wrote and recorded his song, River of Dreams.  It is in our dreams that we go walking in our sleep, and God talks to us.  Joel's song is so full of spiritual symbolism that it is almost enough to make a mystic choke to death!  If you have never heard the song, go to this link:                                                      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hSq4B_zHqPM.

In a wonderful book, and one that I would consider to be a spiritual classic--Dreams, God's Forgotten Language--John Sanford writes a discourse that challenges the followers of Jesus . . . that challenges the spiritual, but not religious . . . to consider the power of communication between  people and God that occurs in dreams.  Hey!  God is still speaking . . . but, we are sleeping through the conversations.

Oh, I know what you are saying, "I don't dream!"  Sorry . . . everyone dreams.  Some of us are better at remembering our dreams than others.  Some of us take medication that effects how well we remember our dreams.  Some of us are so exhausted that we sleep so deep that we don't remember our dreams.  But the fact is, we all dream.  Science has proven it over and over again . . . we all dream.  And, with each dream, if we allow ourselves the privilege of remembering, discerning, and praying about our dreams will find that God speaks to us through the Spirit.

The wife is a vivid dreamer . . . she dreams all of the time.  Me, I dream all of the time, but over the years, due to medications I take, I do not remember my dreams as easily as she does.  I have to play tricks on my body if I want to remember my dreams.  One of the best tricks, though my bladder would not agree, is to drink a lot of water before going to bed.  Thanks to my TB syndrome (Tiny Bladder), I usually wake up in the middle of the night--during prime REM sleep, and have to take a leak.  That usually means I wake up while I am dreaming.  Then I have to wake up the wife--which she loves, tell her what I am dreaming, go take a leak, and hope that in the morning that between the two of us we can remember the dream.  Since she is such a proponent of dreams in her spiritual direction, she usually remembers and quizzes me about the nocturnal ramblings.

Of course, we then do the exercise.  We record the dream on paper . . . write it just as we remember it and do not change any of the wording that we use (again, the Spirit at work . . . plus, God has a great sense of humor and loves word play) . . . ask a lot of questions about what is going on in our lives, etc. . . . and, we ask questions about what the images represent to us (because images in the dreams are symbols of deeper meanings . . . people are not who they are in dreams, but what they represent).  Then we discuss what we think the dream means . . . what is God saying to us.  And, we also remind one another that no one can interpret our dreams for us . . . only we can do that for ourselves even though others might have some great insight for us.

If you are really interested in dreams . . . in God talking to us through dreams . . . I would recommend that you begin to explore this topic.  Read books like John Sandford's Dreams: God's Forgotten Language and others. Google the topic . . . I imagine that there would be at least three or four entries on the topic.  Check out the website Dream Moods (http://www.dreammoods.com).  There is actually a ton of stuff out there to get you started.  But, the fact is, God does speak to us . . . in the middle of the night when we go walking in our sleep.

I had a dream once . . . I was riding a train . . . as I looked out the window of the train I saw a teepee and a big old tent.  For several days this image bugged me . . . I wasn't sure what the message was.  So, I talked to a friend . . . shared the dream . . . and, answered the questions she asked. Primarily she asked what was going on in my life.  Oh, my goodness!  Anything and everything was going on in my life . . . I was under a lot of pressure . . . the stress was unbelievable.  Then she said, "You're two tents . . . you're too tense."  BOOM!  She was right . . . God was telling me I was too tense . . . too stressed out.

Apparently sleep is not as restful as we are led to believe . . . some of us are doing a whole lot of exercising.  It is in the middle of the night that many of us go walking in our sleep . . . go walking in our dreams.  We go down to the river . . . the river--such a strong and powerful biblical symbol of life and hope and dreams . . . searching, searching for something we have lost.  Dreams really are not simple night time entertainment . . . there is something sacred about dreams . . . if we take the time to consider them as communication from God.

I miss that I cannot remember my dreams as well as I used to . . . but, I still walk in my sleep . . . the wife will vouch for that!

Not Far From the Tree

They say that the acorn doesn’t fall from the tree . . . they must be right.  Much to my surprise I read one of the dreams of my youngest son on his blog (Towards the Sun) . . . to hike the Appalachian Trail.  Talk about déjà vu . . . as a young adult, about the same age he is now, I, too, dreamed of hiking the Appalachian Trail.  In fact, the desire was so great I bought the bible of the Appalachian Trail . . . a book that had the journals of those hikers from the first fifty or so years.  In fact, I bought every book I could find much to the chagrin of the wife.  The chagrin came from the fact that I wanted her to hike it with me . . . the wife’s idea of camping is staying at a Holiday Inn with a pool.

Thus it was that I was quite surprised that my youngest son wanted to hike the trail . . . the long trail . . . long, long trail—2,180 miles.  But such is the enthusiasm and idealism of youth . . . it makes one want to do the things that seem impossible . . . it makes one want to dream.  His words struck a heart string . . . the dreams came flooding back . . . I, too, still want to hike the Appalachian Trail.

I have hiked parts of the trail while growing up in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., but that is not the same thing.  It only whets the appetite for doing more.  True, twenty-five years or more have passed since I have carried that dream . . . but, it still lurks in the recesses of my rock garden of a mind.  The spirit is willing . . . and, the body wenches at the prospect.  It is a long, hard hike.  Lately, I have found going from the bed to the bathroom to be an exercise in exhaustion!

I commend my youngest son and his partner (soon to be his wife) for their enthusiasm . . . for the dreams they hold.  It is good to have dreams . . . and, as he stated in his blog, I hope that he doesn’t let his dreams just be dreams . . . I hope that he accomplishes them.  Dreams carry us to the next level of the journey.

I might not ever hike the whole Appalachian Trail . . . but, I once dreamed that I would.  The dream isn’t dead . . . it just needed a spark from the acorn to be remembered.  Now, only time will tell.