That’s A Bunch of Turkey!

I don’t want to come across as blasphemous, but Thanksgiving is a bunch of hooey . . . at least in the way that most Americans observe and celebrate it.  Pilgrims, Indians, turkeys, mashed potatoes, great revelry . . . the ultimate party giving “thanks” at the invitation of the colonists.  A real “Hallmark” affair.  But it is just not true.  It is hooey.

Okay . . . I’ve looked.  I have scoured my Bible (all the translations I have) and I still cannot a reference to the holiday we refer to and celebrate as Thanksgiving.  Couldn’t find it in the Old Testament.  Rumor has it that it might have been on the tablet that Moses dropped and broke while coming down off the mountaintop after conferring with God.  This conspiracy theory banks on the idea that there were originally more than ten commandments, but Moses was kind of a klutz . . . he tripped and dropped a tablet.  Whatever the case, Thanksgiving did not come down from the mountain of God.  Couldn’t find any references through the “kingdom” parts of the Old Testament, though there were often decrees calling for days of giving thanks.  There might have been references at some point in the good old part of the Bible, but they have somehow disappeared . . .  probably under the dogmatic supervision of the Moses Seminar.

 

Couldn’t find it in the New Testament either.  You would have thought that at some point in the ministry of Jesus he would have made a reference to it . . . and, maybe he did.  Certainly, we do not have everything that Jesus said and did in our New Testament due to some creative editing here and there throughout the centuries.  You would have thought Jesus would have said something religious like: “A day should be set aside on the fourth Thursday of the eleventh month of the year, a day to offer thanks for the bounty of the earth.  It should be a day of great feasting, partying, and watching football after the Macy’s parade.”  Maybe at the tail end of the Last Supper.  I looked but couldn’t find such a reference.  Maybe that was the “yada, yada, yada” that got dropped.  After all, you know the tenacity of those who call themselves the Jesus Seminar.

 

Same with the Epistles . . . nothing there.  Apparently, it was not “God mandated” as there is nothing in the scriptures . . . the holy word of God straight out of the Holy’s mouth.

 

So . . . what is all of this hullabaloo about Thanksgiving?

 

First, though there are no references to the celebration and holiday we observe as Thanksgiving, the scriptures are filled with admonishments for the people to pause and give thanks.  Sometimes it is for a few minutes and at other times its days if not weeks of observing giving thanks.  God’s people are to be a “thankful” people and should practice the art of gratitude on a regular basis.  Because of this history is filled with days of giving thanks . . . Thanksgiving.  Shoot!  Even observing the Lord’s Supper, more theologically known as the Eucharist, is an act of thanksgiving.  Look it up . . . “eucharist” is a Greek work meaning thanksgiving.

 

Second, observing a day or celebration of giving thanks is not solely the property of us Americans . . . of the good ol’ U.S. of A.!  No, just about all cultures, if not all, have set aside days in which to give thanks for a lot of different reasons.  Other cultures and religions have celebrations of gratitude and giving thanks . . . probably going all the way back to the start of humanity.  The celebration of thanksgiving of we observe it is not original with us, though we might want to think that it is.  Giving thanks probably spans the consciousness of the human race.

 

I probably should tread lightly . . . Thanksgiving in America is the second favorite holiday after Christmas.  What’s not to like? Feasting, family, Macy’s parade, football . . . it’s a wonderful party!  Yet, as the story goes, it all started with the Pilgrims and Indians sitting down for a happy meal together and becoming BFFs.  Even Pocahontas gave it “thumbs up” . . . except for the fact that she wasn’t there that is a pretty good endorsement.  She was a member of a completely different tribe and had died four years prior to the actual event in 1617.  As good as it sounds, this isn’t quite the “real” story behind the story.

 

Settlers, like the Pilgrims, were hardly the kindly, giving group that most of us learned about in our youth.  Far from it.  As the story goes, the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock where they established a colony and began going about existing.  After a year they were pretty happy with the harvest of their crops and decided they should take the time and give thanks with a three-day celebration.  And that is what they did.  The Indians were not invited.

 

What we often forget is that the Pilgrims were not the first to be in this new land.  There were other explorers before them.  With the explorers came illnesses and disease that were foreign to the natives who had been there for centuries.  Such a calamity had happened to the Wampanoag tribe wiping out great numbers of its people and leaving them weak in defending themselves against their enemies.  Because of this, and obviously the weapons of the Pilgrims, the chief of the tribe—Ousamequin—saw this as an opportunity to forge an alliance with them.  A sort of mutual protection order. 

 

During the celebration among the Pilgrims weapons were fired off.  The Wampanoags hear this noise.  The chief gathered up some warriors (90 to be exact) and headed off towards the noise to offer protection to their neighbors. Turns out it was just drunken boys being boys shooting off their guns.  Ousamequin used this as an opportunity to form an alliance.  It was not because he was friendly, but because it was to the tribe’s advantage against their enemies.  It was great while it lasted, but it did not last long.  The relationship deteriorates and eventually leads to one of the most horrific colonial Indian wars on record, King Philip’s War.  The big losers in all of this were the Indians.

 

So, the Wampanoags stumbled into the party uninvited and took advantage of the situation to create an alliance.  A meal was shared.  It just wasn’t the meal we associate with Thanksgiving.  Warriors were sent out to get meat—mostly deer when their numbers overwhelmed the Pilgrims.  So, there was venison, and some sort of cooked fowl (though it was not turkey).  There were no mashed potatoes, not even baked because that was not a crop in the area and wouldn’t be for years.  It is true that there were cranberries, but they did not come out of a can in jelly form.  There was also pumpkin, but no pie.  It was not a potluck affair.

 

Also, there were few women at the celebration.  The warriors came as a war party minus any women from the village.  Nor were there many women on the Pilgrim side as very few survived the trip to the “new world”.  It was largely a male thing and far from what we were taught as children.  Nor was it a “stately” affair with the best china being used.  Far from it . . . there were few buildings, little furniture, and most people ate outside while sitting on the ground or on a barrel with plates on their laps.  The men fired guns, ran races, and drank liquor, while struggling to speak in broken English and Wampanoag.  A fairly disorderly affair that resembles nothing of the pious picture we have in our minds of sitting at long tables, quietly passing plates and bowls of food between the Pilgrims and Indians.  None the less, it served its purpose of creating a treaty between the two groups.

 

For the next 50 years, the alliance was tested as the colonials kept expanding their land acquisitions, spread diseases, and basically exploited the Wampanoag land.  Such a relationship dissolves into tension between the two groups.  The tensions eventually ignited into war.  This war was known as King Philip’s War or the Great Narragansett War.  This war devastated the Wampanoags and forever shifted the balance of power in favor of the invading colonists.  The Wampanoags of today remember the Pilgrims’ entry to their homeland as a day of deep mourning, rather than a moment of giving thanks.

 

That’s a story we should lift a few for!  Not!  That is not the story we celebrate.  Instead, we celebrate the mythic . . .

 

The myth is that friendly Indians, unidentified by tribe, welcome the Pilgrims to America, teach them how to live in this new land, sit down to dinner with them and then disappear.  It is a handoff . . . the Indians are handing off America to the white people so they can create a great nation dedicated to liberty, opportunity, and Christianity for the rest of the world to profit.  At least that is how it is remembered.  The great Manifest Destiny conspiracy. 

 

And unfortunately, too many of us buy into the myth and not the reality.  Too many of us accept without questioning.  Lock, stock, and barrel.  And it is hooey!

 

For a long time, the days of giving thanks were sporadic.  Our history shows that they were called here and there by communities, states, and even the nation as a need was felt. Nothing was really organized for a long time, but the idea was planted . . . and, surprise . . . it involved a lot of politics as it ran its course towards acceptance and becoming acknowledged.  So, the seeds were planted and throughout history it gained steam.

 

One of the biggest advocates for declaring a National Day of Thanksgiving was Sarah Josepha Hale.  Though the name is not recognizable, all of us know Sarah.  Sarah was a magazine editor who had a number one children’s hit . . . Mary Had a Little Lamb.  Yea, that was Sarah.  She was really hooked on the idea of Thanksgiving as a national day of observance and she lobbied hard through five different presidencies to make it a federal holiday.  She finally struck gold when President Abraham Lincoln declared it a holiday in 1863.  He thought it would be a good idea and a step towards reuniting the fractured country after the Civil War.  He put it on the calendar for the last Thursday of November.  Had nothing to do with pilgrims, Indians, or turkey.  In fact, Lincoln declared in his proclamation that it would be a day to ask God to “commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife” and to “heal the wounds of the nation.”

 

Our nation celebrated this day of thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November until 1939.  That year the President Franklin D. Roosevelt moved the holiday up a week in an attempt to spur retail sales during the Great Depression.  Of course, with change there comes opposition . . . in this case, passionate opposition.  Caving to this opposition Roosevelt eventually signed a bill making Thanksgiving the fourth Thursday in November.  Again, had nothing to do with that first Thanksgiving.

 

There are a lot of traditions related to the holiday.  For example, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  There was no parade at the first Thanksgiving (they forgot to unpack the floats off the Mayflower, and they ended back in England) . . . the Macy Parade grew out of a parade that Macy put on as a promotion to kick off the holiday shopping season in 1924. Of course, Santa has been a part of it from its start and was declared the “king of the kiddies”.  Such is the tradition of Thanksgiving.

 

We need to understand that a lot of what we think of as “Thanksgiving” are myths of a grand illusion we celebrate.  Those myths are not true, and we need quite perpetuating them.  The Pilgrims and Native Americans were not friends who worked together . . . nope it was a political and survival necessity.  Their relationship, at best, was tense.  The Pilgrims did not teach the “uncivilized” Indians about Thanksgiving.  Native Americans were not “uncivilized” having large and complex societies long before the settlers arrived.  They already had their own harvest celebrations, feast traditions and holidays of their own.  Giving thanks was a big part of their religious practices.  There are a lot of myths that surround this holiday that are detrimental to Native Americans that are just wrong and perpetuate the colonial view and treatment of this population.  Don’t believe me, well then, I suggest that you do a little homework.  Take the time to research the origins of Thanksgiving . . . take a Google adventure. Learn for yourself what it is that you are actually celebrating.

 

I do not think that most people want to observe and celebrate something that is harmful to another.  Thanksgiving is such an observance as we understand it.  Setting aside days of giving thanks are not relegated to the fourth Thursday of November.  Throughout history people, communities, states, and nations have declared days to be thankful.  On those days the people were asked to “give thanks” . . . to “give thanks” for bountiful harvests, blessings, family, community . . . for another day, another opportunity. 

 

As we gather around tables for Thanksgiving with family and friends, let us focus on the reasons we need to “give thanks” and not rely upon some mythic understanding of why we are gathered.  The reality and facts point to a completely different story and outcome.  I believe that we should all be thankful because there is much to be thankful for.  We should pause more often in our lives . . . even on a daily basis . . . to “give thanks”.  Someone once said that simplest prayer that anyone could ever utter is to say, “thank you.”  I certain you can find that in the Bible.  That is a Thanksgiving I believe we can all support and get behind.  May yours be a joyful celebration of life and all the blessings it brings.  Besides, who needs turkey to be thankful?    

 

Let the Madness Begin

No one wants to be a Grinch no matter what the holiday season is that is being celebrated . . . but, I am confused.  I am not sure exactly which holiday season we are supposed to be celebrating . . . is it Thanksgiving or is it Christmas?  Or, is it some sort of combination like “Thanksmas”?  I really don’t know anymore.

It was only a couple of days ago that there were knocks on the doors and costumed people wanting our attention . . . not to mention kids out trick-or-treating as it was Halloween.  It happens every year that there is an election.  Weren’t we just celebrating Halloween?  Now everywhere I go there is a mingling of Christmas in the midst of Thanksgiving.  Starbucks already has its holiday drink and red cup out heralding the start of some sort of holiday . . . it used to be Christmas, but Christmas is nearly seven weeks away.  I guess it is never too early to get into the holiday spirit . . . whichever holiday it might be . . . or to make a quick buck.  The stores are pushing this Thanksmas theme . . . the malls are decorated for a mingling of the seasons . . . and, the Halloween candy and costumes are marked down 75 percent!  The madness has begun!

I belong to a family in which the female side LOVE holidays.  The wife decorates the house in holiday themes throughout the year . . . ghosts and spookies during Halloween . . . turkeys and pilgrims during Thanksgiving . . . all things Christmassy during Christmas . . . bunny rabbits, birds, eggs, and a cross or two for Easter . . . springy stuff in the Spring . . . red, white, and blue for the national holidays . . . fall leaves and birds in the Autumn.  It seems as the themes change faster than the holidays appear.  The daughter marks her internal calendar by the holidays . . . of which her birthday is one of the biggest.  No sooner has one holiday exited out the door she is already celebrating the next.  So, you can imagine, holiday madness is not uncommon at the Keener Homestead . . . it is a part of life.

Despite the familiarity of holiday madness, it is becoming more and more confusing.  I do not like or appreciate the mingling of holidays . . . like Christmas overwhelming Thanksgiving.  I am a holiday purist who believes in celebrating one holiday before beginning the festivities of another holiday.  I want to have time to mourn the passing of one before embracing another . . . it almost seems adulterous hopping into the next holiday before the symbols and wrappings of the previous one are even packed away.  I especially do not want to mixed and mingle the holidays. 

I do not want to see my pilgrims wearing Santa hats, or my Santa Claus dragging a turkey to slaughter . . . I want them to remain separate and individual celebrations.  I do not want to walk into any store at the start of November and hear Christmas carols being played.  I do not want to see any Christmas tree raised before its time . . . especially before the Thanksgiving turkey has been carved.  I do not want to receive any Christmas cards before December . . . even if it the one my cousin—four-times removed—meant to send last year.  I do not want to see an ugly Christmas sweater before I have put away my ugly Thanksgiving sweater.  I don’t want to hear the ringing bells of the Salvation Army before my check for the homeless shelter’s annual Thanksgiving Dinner has cleared the bank.  Nor do I want to see people wearing reindeer antlers, flashing red noses, mistletoe, or poinsettias before their time.

No!  Let me stuff my face with left-over Halloween candy before the madness overtakes my life.  Let me count my blessings, search for the perfect turkey, and get ready for the post-Thanksgiving nap.  Let me relish the day-after-Thanksgiving football games.  Let me enjoy my family as we focus on giving thanks.  Don’t make me confused with some new sort of holiday known as Thanksmas!

We need to go back to simpler times . . . when holidays were simple.  Remember how, as a kid, a holiday meant no school, more time to play, opportunities to visit family and friends, and more time to have fun?  A simpler time when there was no confusion about which holiday we were actually in and celebrating.  A simpler time when we just relaxed and enjoyed the moment and the people for what they were and not what we wanted them to be . . . another thing to check off of the holiday list. 

No, I do not want to be a Grinch . . . but, something happens to me at this time of year . . . between Halloween and Christmas.  A darkness envelopes me and I can feel the madness creeping in.  I get so confused.  Is it Thanksgiving?  Is it Christmas?  Or, is it Thanksmas?  Who knows any more.  If that makes me a Grinch . . . well, so be it.  I doubt if there is anything that will ever make my heart grow four sizes bigger to embrace this holiday madness.  Bah humbug to Thanksmas!

Giving Thanks?

In a couple of days there will be a gathering in our home to celebrate a day of giving thanks . . . Thanksgiving.  Around the table will be most of the family . . . the granddaughter . . . some of the children’s in-laws and their family . . . and, the two Dachshunds.  The table will be spread with the full compliment of food befitting a Thanksgiving dinner.  There will be a turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberries and cranberry sauce, gravy, rolls, cornbread casserole . . . the whole nine-yards.  Plus it will be almost one hundred percent organic because it is good for our health, though my wallet would say that it isn’t help it much.  We will pause, join hands, and give thanks . . . and, with the “Amen” all hell will break loose.

As an introvert, crowds bother me . . . especially crowds that gather in my domain.  I like people, but not all at once.  But, this is an annual expectation from the female side of the family, and one that I must endure.  Now, do not get me wrong.  I love my family.  I love my children’s in-laws, they are practically full-fledged family—they are good people.  I love the feast.  I even love the two Dachshunds who will be hanging out by the granddaughter who hasn’t quite mastered the art of keeping her food on the plate yet.  It is just that I do not always want them all in my life at one time.  Because of that, the wife has given me ample time to prepare myself for the big day.

Part of that preparation has to do with what happens after the “Amen”.  Of course there will be the usual mauling of the turkey and all of the trimmings.  It will be the usual feast of stuffing the participants.  I can handle that . . . it is all of the stuff around the feast that I need to get a handle on . . . stuff like having to talk to one another . . . having a conversation.  I am not always great at conversation . . .

A couple of years ago, the big Thanksgiving feast took place at our daughter’s in-laws.  There were the two families, including the grandparents on her husband’s side of the family.  Our son-in-law’s grandfather is a graduate of the University of Montana in Missoula.  This makes him a great big Griz fan.  Me, well, I never grew up in Montana and thus I have no allegiance to either of the football powers in Montana . . . I don’t care to be a Griz or a Bobcat fan when it comes to football . . . I am a diehard Cornhusker fan.  Little did I realize how seriously they take their Grizzly football among the alumni. 

Taking advantage in the lull of conversation at the table I ask the son-in-law’s grandfather—the Griz fan, if he had seen the prediction for the Grizzly football season in the newspaper.  He replied no.  I said, “Nine and two . . . nine acquittals and two convictions.”  Of course that was the year that the Grizzly football team was getting into a lot of trouble with the law in Missoula.  Needless to say, Grandpa did not appreciate the joke.  Haven’t seen him at a family Thanksgiving since.  Do you see what I am trying to say?  Do you understand why I need time to prepare for these big gatherings?

I found an article about eight things that you should never say at a Thanksgiving dinner.  Those eight things are:

--“Well somebody likes the stuffing.”  I am not a stuffing person.  The wife is making the stuffing this year.  I live with the wife.  I will cram the stuffing down no matter how much I dislike it.  Thank goodness for gravy . . . gravy makes anything edible.  But, I will not be the one saying anything about any of the food on the table.  I like sleeping in my bed.

--“Do you know what they do to the turkey before it’s slaughtered?”  Well, since our turkey is organic, I imagine that it died of old age.  Most folks do not care where their food comes from . . . they just want to eat it.  As far as I know, there are no PETA carrying card members gathering around our table . . . it just has to be organic.  Our turkey is full of peace, love, and harmony.

--“Can you pass the yams, and I’m dropping out of law school.”  Yams . . . sweet potatoes . . . not coming from my lips.  I don’t like either of them.  Nor will I announce that I am dropping out of law school.  I don’t think that is the actual point behind this statement . . . the point is that one should not announce earth-moving announcements at the Thanksgiving table.  It kind of puts a damper on the festivities . . . besides, we would never allow a lawyer to the table.  Yeah, I know, we claim to be Christians, but we do have to draw the line somewhere.

--“Are you sure you need another glass of wine?”  Don’t even ask.  Yes, I need another glass of wine . . . I am an introvert and self-medicating might be the only way I make it. 

--“I’m thankful that after Tom’s affair, he and I were able to work through our issues and move forward.”  Well, good for her and Tom . . . more power to them . . . whoever they are.  Again, another bombshell dropped on the table.  Apparently bombshells are not acceptable at the Thanksgiving table . . . even acquittals and convictions.    The past is the past and it is best to leave those moans and groans there.  Besides, there will be plenty of wine to go around from the bottle.

--“And I’m thankful that most of my kids were able to take time out of their busy schedules to spend Thanksgiving with their mother (father).  Even if you can only stay for one night.”  Hey, as an introvert . . . one night is good for me.  Actually, I am quite sad that not all of my children and their spouses could make it to the big deal.  I really miss the two of them.  I also am thankful for whoever can gather around the table . . . and, if that is only for a day or two, so be it.  We will make the most of it, but I won’t complain if they have to go home early.

--“Do you have any salt?”  Hey!  This is fair game at our table.  Ever since the wife went on a health kick to keep herself and me healthy, salt has disappeared in her cooking.  Asking for salt is not a statement about the food sucking.  Far from it . . . especially for those of us who grew up salting first and asking second.  The wife keeps a shaker by my plate . . . she is a good wife.

--“I really miss Grandma’s pumpkin pie.”  Well, I miss Grandma, but she can keep the pumpkin pie.  I don’t like pumpkin pie . . . in fact, I am not even a big dessert person.  Trust me, I won’t be saying anything about the pumpkin pie other than, “Ewwww!”  Besides, I can handle the scorn of being un-American and passing on the pumpkin pie.

As good as those were, I have a few more I would add:

--Politics.  I think you understand this one. 

--Religion.  Yes, the wife and I are ordained clergy, but we just want to enjoy the food, family, and fellowship without having a debate about whether Jesus walked on water or knew where all the rocks were in the lake.

--Future plans of the adult children.  This one usually pits the children against the parents . . . expectations never mesh up with reality.

--Work.  That is something I left at the office at 5:00PM on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and there is a reason I left it there.

--Jokes about Grizzly football . . . or Nebraska football . . . or any football.

I think I will survive.  I usually do.  As I stated earlier, we will all gather at the table, join hands and give thanks . . . and, there is much to be thankful for.  For each individual gathered around our table, I am thankful that they are a part of my life.  For the food placed upon the table for the big feast, I am thankful that I have food to eat because there are many who cannot.  For the fellowship of the moment, there will be laughter, teasing, and great fun . . . I am thankful that I am not alone.  For the opportunity . . . even as an introvert . . . I am thankful.  Though I probably do not say it enough, I am thankful.  The little girl in the cartoon is right, we need to be thankful more than one day a year.  Hopefully we remember that as we give thanks.