Seeing Red . . . Husker Red

Seven point six million reasons why.

That is the reason that the University of Nebraska will not fire head football coach Bo Pelini this year.  That is the amount of money that it would take for the university to buy out Pelini’s remaining contract through the year 2017.  That is a lot of corn!

Like most rabid University of Nebraska Cornhusker football fans—and, I hate to admit this—the loss to the University of Iowa Hawkeyes to drop Big Red to an eight and four season, was cause enough in my corn-addled mind to fire Pelini.  It was bad enough to lose four games this year, but to lose to the Hawkeyes was almost an unpardonable sin.  Granted, the Hawkeyes are a good team . . . but, they’re Iowa!  Another corn growing state (and, for those people out there, they kick Nebraska’s butt at producing corn, too).  No one likes losing to their archrivals from across the river.  I am sure that this sounds like whining—and, it is—but, there are a lot of teams who would have seen an eight and four record as reason to celebrate (especially considering the age of the team and its uncharacteristic track record with injuries) . . . phttt!  Not a true Big Red fan though . . . this is close to blasphemy in Big Red Nation . . . especially to cap off the regular season with a loss to the Hawkeyes!

The gut reaction is to fire Pelini . . . but, 7.6 million dollars is a whole lot of money to spend to scratch an itch that probably won’t go away anytime soon.  Gut reactions are not always the best response to an issue . . . or perceived issue.  When seeing red, one does not always make the best decisions or choices.  Sometimes a person needs to step back, consider what is going on, and then make a decision.  Something the University of Nebraska is not always willing to do . . . shoot they fired Frank Solich when he was a coach after winning nine games and losing three!  They hired the flashy Bill Callahan to replace Solich, and then took a quick trip down the football toilet as he decimated the team and Big Red Nation.  This pattern is not unfamiliar in big time college football . . . but, the University of Nebraska is just not used to this pattern after having such a huge run of success at the top for so many—not years, but generations.  This supposed black spot on the Big Red reputation needs to be removed and removed now!  It hurts too much!  Cut it out now!  Fire Pelini and everything will be okay!  At least that seems to be the sentiment of many within Big Red Nation.

Again, 7.6 million seems like a big price to pay to get rid of a pain that is probably fleeting.  Remember, an eight and four record is a winning season that lots of schools would die for.  True, there is no Big Ten championship . . . there is no BCS bowl game . . . probably no New Year’s Day game . . . but, it is still a darn good record considering the season that the team and Pelini have been through.  We, within the Big Red Nation, need to shut-up and put up with a little pain . . . after all, these are the pains of growth if used right.

There are not a lot of coaches out there who would have wanted to put up with Pelini’s situation.  It seemed that player after player went down each week with injuries . . . the biggest of all was losing four-year starter at quarterback, Taylor Martinez, who set all sorts of school records on the field.  The offensive line, touted as one of the best at the start of the year, replaced almost all of the first and second teamers after racking up the injuries during games . . . I hear that Pelini even converted the ball boy to a left tackle position so that there would be some depth on the playing chart for game days.  Add to that the fact that a lot of players graduated from the team last year, and there were a lot of young, new players getting starting positions . . . and, getting injuries.  This was one of the youngest teams that Pelini has ever put on the field.  It was everything and anything that every coach goes to bed at night praying never materializes . . . Pelini lost the bet!  Lost it big time!  None of these issues are things that Pelini can control . . . poop happens.  Apparently lots of poop happened to the Cornhuskers this year.

In all honesty, this is about where I thought the Cornhuskers would end up this year at the end of the season.  In fact, they actually did better than my real self wants to admit . . . I saw them losing a couple of more games than they did.  But, that is the real me talking . . . the die-hard Big Red fan in me expected an undefeated season, a Big Ten Championship, and at a minimum a BCS bowl game if not the national championship shot.  Expect it every year . . . it is ingrained in Big Red fans.  In the heat of the moment, when I am seeing red, my gut reaction is to fire Pelini.  Fire him now!  It is a heck of a lot easier to fire the coach than to deal with the fact that with everything that was piled on this team . . . everything that this team went up against each week (including disgruntled fans) . . . that they were actually overachievers who had a pretty decent season.  Sure, it hurts not to reach unreachable expectations . . . sure, it hurts to lose to Iowa . . . but, the hurt will go away.

Husker Nation needs to get real.  Husker Nation needs to deal with its denial to do the one thing that it expects its football team to do . . . man up and own the reality that it was just not a great season to put into the annals of history, but it was not a terrible season.  Husker Nation needs to admit that this season was probably better than most of us expected in our moment of weakness prior to the season when we were being honest with the landscape of college football . . . when we were thinking we would be lucky to five football games.  Husker Nation needs to deal with the fact that unexpected things happen . . . players get hurt . . . balls bounce funny . . . and, young players make mistakes . . . that poop happens.  Husker Nation needs to realize that there are other things that matter more than football, and that the sun rises even the day after a big loss (even though it was pretty cloudy this morning after losing to Iowa).  Husker Nation needs to get real and acknowledge that it is not going to fork over 7.6 million dollars to a coach that it would love to fire . . . admit that even the most rabid Husker football fan is not going to fork over a couple of bucks to help offset the university’s expense if they do fire Pelini and take a 7.6 million dollar hit . . . that they are not going to “put up or shut up”.  Yeah, it hurts right now, but time heals everything including growth pains.

I do not like Pelini, but I also can think of 7.6 million reasons why he shouldn’t be fired.  I also think that when someone has a run of bad luck, that he or she should get a second chance . . . Pelini deserves a second chance (or is this the seventh or eighth chance?).  The fact is, no one from the university comes knocking on my door asking me for advice on how to coach or run a big-time college football program.  Sure, I see red . . . but, it is Husker Red.  I will moan and groan, but I still keep coming back no matter what the record of my beloved Huskers might be.  I imagine somewhere down the line that will become the classic definition of “crazy” . . . doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results . . . yep, that is Cornhusker football at its best!

Oh, Bo!

In Bo Pelini’s tenure as the University of Nebraska Cornhusker football coach it doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to realize that those are not prayers he is screaming on the sidelines.  Any person—including me, with trifocal glasses—can pretty well read his lips.  The man has been known to blow a few gaskets in his time of coaching Big Red . . . easily caught on camera countless times over the years.  Of course, the descriptions used to describe him often mention the word “fiery” and “profane” . . . what can anyone say, he is originally from Ohio . . . a blue collar state.  So, why is there such an uproar being made over an audio tape from two years ago when he was screaming a blue streak to some acquaintances after staging what has been called one of the biggest comeback victories every in Memorial Stadium over Ohio State . . . who had a 21 point lead late in the third quarter?

Was it because he pointed his profanity-filled, f-bomb laced remarks at the Big Red Nation?  The Big Red Nation that has so often been touted as being among college football’s best fans?  The Big Red Nation who claim a sense of loyalty and faithfulness unmatched in college football . . . who stand by their team no matter whether they win or lose?  The same Big Red fans who started streaming out of the stadium—thinking all was lost, while the team was staging one of the greatest comebacks in Cornhusker history?  The faithful leaving the stadium partially filled?  Yep, that is pretty much the foundation of the complaining . .. Bo cussed out the faithful . . . profanely describing them as blankety blank fair weather fans.  That is what he did.

Now, mind you, he also cussed out the sports staff of the Omaha World Herald newspaper, but no one was in disagreement with that part of the rant.  Shoot, you can hear that happening in just about every little town in Nebraska on Monday mornings during the football season.  No one really cared that Bo cursed the Omaha World Herald sports department and writers . . . it was a consensual agreement across the state that they probably deserved it.  No, it was over the fact that Bo swore at the Husker faithful in some mighty fine blue language that made the paint peel.  Big Red Nation got its feelings hurt and cried foul.

Big Red Nation should not have been surprised by Bo’s rant . . . unless they were blind and sitting in the nose-bleed section of section of Memorial Stadium . . . everyone in Big Red Nation knows that Bo is a colorful, feisty, fiery sort of guy who likes to use a lot of profane language during the games.  Ask any Big 12 of Big 10 official.  Just about everyone in Huskerland knows that Bo has a temper that is on a really, really short fuse.  Just about everyone in the land of corn has seen his storming and swearing during a game . . . either in person or on television.  Those are not sweet nothings he is uttering to the officials.  So, why the mock surprise?  Again, because Bo hurt everyone’s feelings.

I don’t agree with Bo’s behavior a lot of the time when he goes off on one of his temper tantrums . . . doesn’t quite fit the image that the legendary coach Tom Osborne spent years building for the University of Nebraska football program.  Yeah, Bo can be a little embarrassing . . . and, to be honest, I have been amazed that he hasn’t had a heart attack while ranting and raving on the sidelines . . . the man does get red!  The man reminds me of Bobby Knight when he used to coach the Hoosiers at Indiana in basketball.  At least Bo hasn’t thrown a bench on the field yet.  Yes, Bo loses it at least once a game, acts like a two-year old throwing a tantrum, and it does get old and embarrassing . . . but . . .

. . . who among us has not blown our caps, cursed, stomped, called names, turned red, and bitten the hand that feeds us?  Who among us has not gone off on some profanity-laced tirade when we have been hurt?  Who among us has not lost it and flipped someone off while driving?  Who among us has not lost it, said things that we regretted as soon as they left our lips, and knew that it was wrong?  Who among us has not pulled a “Bo”—of some degree—in all the years of our lives?  Who among us has been super human . . . walks on water . . . and, is, well . . . perfect?  Been without sin?

I’ll wait while you consider your answer . . . but, I might be waiting a long, long time.  The point is, as human beings, we have all blown it at some point in our lives . . . that we will blow it again . . . that we will pull a “Bo”.  We all do it.  Sometimes it is witnessed by those we wish didn’t see it, other times it is in the privacy of our own little world.  But, the bottom line is that we have all acted just as Bo acted.  And, we have been on both sides of it when it happens.  We have been the perpetrator and the victim.  We have done the hurting, and we have been hurt.  Unfortunately, we just don’t want to admit that we are like Bo . . . that we are frail humans that are prone to get frustrated, angry, and blow up.

The incident happened two years ago . . . it didn’t happen after the whooping UCLA put on the Huskers this past Saturday . . . which it very easily could have.  Bo apologized.  He publicly apologized . . . said he was sorry.  The president and athletic director of the university said that he was sincere in his apology.  God . . . I mean, Tom Osborne . . . said that he believed that he was sincere.  Bo said he was sincere . . . and, that he loved Big Red Nation . . . best gig he has ever had.  But the lament is still going on . . . wah, wah, wah, cry a portion of the faithful.  I think it was the third of the stadium that left early in the third quarter. 

It is done, but there are those cry out for justice . . . who cry out for acts of penitence . . . who want to see Bo pay for hurting their feelings.  I don’t know what else the man can do.  He is already paying a heavy price as the coach of Big Red.  I wouldn’t want his job . . . I would be blowing up every ten minutes.  Think about it . . . in is job he has to please several million fans of Big Red Nation who are among the best armchair quarterbacks in the world who question his every move . . . in his job he has to babysit over a hundred young men—ages 18 to 25ish, who think they know everything there is to know . . . plus, remember, they are all males—ever try to a male anything?  He constantly hears that he is not a good coach despite the fact that he has averaged at least nine victories a year since taking over the Cornhuskers . . . only one of six coaches in the nation to do so in that time period.  I wouldn’t want his job . . . would you?

The man apologized . . . it is over.  It is time to move on.  It is time that the faithful of the Big Red Nation start living up to their reputation . . . a reputation that is demonstrated when the fans stand at the end of a game and cheer for the visiting team—win or lose.  It is time that the faithful start living up to what it is that they project as an image of the Cornhusker faithful.  The history of Big Red football is filled with the faithful giving the fallen a second . . . and, even more . . . chance.  Bo stumbled, admitted his mistake, apologized, and now it is time to move on.  There is still a lot of football left to play.  Oh, Bo . . .

. . . I feel for you.  I know what you feel.  I am a minister . . . but more importantly, I am a human being prone to making mistakes.  Even God, a huge Notre Dame fan I am told, understands.  It is tough being the coach of the beloved Huskers . . .    

Seeing Red . . .

Seeing Red . . . 

 

. . . as in BIG RED.  Taking advantage of having some comp time at the university I took last Friday off.  Unbeknownst to me, while I a day off, my co-workers did a little redecorating of my office.  My co-workers proceeded to turn my office into a shrine to all things related to the University of Nebraska Husker football team . . . and a few things Nebraskan.  I must admit that they did a great job as they decorated my office with pictures, red tissue paper, and jokes taped all over the place.  Nothing was left untouched.  It was quite a sight!

To say the least I must admit that I admire their creativity and fortitude in achieving the task of creating all things “Husker”.  Though it took a little time to re-arrange my office back to its original configuration, I had to laugh.  I had to laugh because they found some pretty darn good jokes—some of which I had never heard.  It is hard to be mad at people who respect you enough to trash your office with your favorite team and make you laugh.  I imagine it took them quite some time.

It is only ten days before the Huskers start their season against Southern Mississippi . . . a real powerhouse of the type that Big Red usually has difficulty.  Big Red Nation has been counting down the days until that kickoff since they checked in the last piece of equipment after the bowl season in January.  This is a big deal . . . nothing happens on the days that Big Red Nation gathers for the “big game” (they are all big games in Nebraska).  Ask the wife . . . she could tell you some stories.

This year my kickoff tribute to all things Big Red is not going to be the poetic hyperbole of the past . . . nope, I’m taking the humorous route this year.  I am going to share some of the new jokes I learned from having my office trashed.  I hope that you enjoy them . . .

A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams.  They were perfect for each other, except for one minor flaw: She was a Hawkeye and he was a Cyclone.  He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Hawkeye fan.  He went to the doctor and asked if there were an easy way to do this.  The doctor replied, “Yes, it’s a very simple procedure.  What we do is go in and remove half your brain.  When you wake up, you will be a Hawkeye fan.”

The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery.  After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned.  “Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel, instead of removing half of your brain we removed ¾ of it.  How do you feel?”

The man sat up, looked around, and said, “GO HUSKERS!”

A female ISU graduate is on an airplane.  A male passenger sits next to her, and immediately begins to shamelessly hit on her.  This goes on for half the flight.  Finally, during a lull in the conversation, the girl says, “So, you graduated from Nebraska, huh/”

The man replies in a surprised voice, “Yes, yes I did!  How did you know?  Was it my wit?  My sophistication? My savior faire?”

“Nope,” the girl says, “I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.”

A Texas fan, a Nebraska fan, and an Iowa State fan were out riding horses one day.  At one point, the Texas fan pulled out a bottle of expensive bourbon, took a long swig, threw the bottle to the ground, pulled out a pistol and shot it.

“What are you doing?” asked the Nebraska fan.  “That was perfectly good whiskey.”

“In Texas, we have more whiskey than we need,” said the Longhorn fan, “And bottles are cheap.”

They rode along for a while, and the Nebraska fan was thinking.  Then he pulled out a bottle of champagne, opened it, took a swig, threw down the bottle, pulled out his pistol and shot the bottle.  “What are you doing?” asked the Cyclone fan.  “That was perfectly good champagne.”

“In Nebraska,” said the Husker fan, “We have more champagne than we need, and the bottles are cheap.”

They rode along for a while, and then the Cyclone fan pulled out a bottle of beer, drank the whole thing, put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his pistol and shot the Nebraska fan.  “What are you doing?” asked the Texas fan.

“In Iowa,” replied the Cyclone fan, “We have more Husker fans than we need, but bottles are worth a nickel a piece.”

Breaking News!!!

Nebraska football coach Bo Pelini will only dress ten players for the ISU/NU game.  The rest can actually dress themselves!

During the Battle of Little Big Horn, Custer asked his Indian scout for an assessment.

Scout: Well, General, I’ve got good news and bad news.

Custer: Give me the bad news first.

Scout: There are thousands of Indians here who are well armed.  We are virtually surrounded and almost out of ammo.  It looks very, very bleak.

Custer: Oh, that does sound bad, but what is the good news?

Scout: Well, it looks like we won’t have to go back across Nebraska . . .

And, finally, a blow against Colorado: Colorado and Nebraska have decided to merge into one state.  Nebraskans gain the mountains, and Colorado gets a football team.

In ten days the season kicks off . . . For the next couple of months I will be dressed in red on Saturdays . . . living and dying as the Huskers play.  The noise you hear from the house will be either the joy of victory or the lament of defeat.  But, no matter what, no matter how you cut me, I will be bleeding red . . . just like a true Husker fan.  I can laugh now, the season is still only ten days away . . . but after September first . . . well, I don’t laugh as easily at Husker jokes.  GO BIG RED!!

Oh yeah, before I go, my favorite University of Montana Grizzlies joke:

Two big University of Montana Grizzly football players come hooting and hollering as they enter a local drinking establishment.  They yell out to the bartender, “Drinks for everyone . . . we’re celebrating!”  Then they continue to hoot and holler with all the patrons in the bar.  This goes on for about thirty minutes with the two players buying everyone drinks.

“So, what’s the big deal?  You guys win a big game?” asks the bartender.

“Nope,” they reply.

“Well, then, what is the big deal?”

“We are celebrating putting together a jigsaw puzzle . . . and it only took us six months to complete the thing!”

“What’s the big deal about that . . . that is nothing special . . . six months . . . anyone can do it!”

“No way,” says one of the players, “the box said two to four years and we did it in six months!”

Remember . . . it is better to laugh now than later . . . the season hasn’t started!