Welcome to Big Old Goofy World . . . a place where I can share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams about this rock that we live on and call home.

Sunday, April 6, 2025

Sanctuary: The Barbershop

For many years, as a child, my father gave me haircuts.  At least that is what he called it.  It was more of shearing than an actual haircut.  A “buzz cut”.  I wasn’t a big fan of the buzz cut and would avoid it for as long as I could . . . or for as long as he would tolerate an unkempt son.  That was my standard haircut for many for many years—quick and simple.  Being a pale, skinny kid I always looked like something out of a Russian Gulag.

It was probably around sixth grade that my father tired of his barber duties, my constant whining, and the hassle of trying to shear a wiggly kid that he finally threw in the towel.  Around that time, he agreed to allow me to grow my hair out and have a “real” haircut . . . as long as I got myself to the barber on my own.  Living on the Air Force Academy at that time this meant that I either had to take the base bus or hike a mile up the bluff to the base barbershop.  This was a task I gladly accepted to avoid being a Gulag poster child.  Of course, being a military base, the specialty was buzz and crew cuts.

 

No, I did not hike the two-mile round trip to get a buzz or crew cut.  I got a real haircut to fit my father’s specifications . . . over the ears and off the collar.  That was short-lived because these were the late 1960s and early 1970s.  By junior high school I let my “freak flag” fly much to the disappointment and disapproval of my father.  After that first real haircut, I never again came close to a buzz or crew cut.

 

The irony of the whole haircut journey is that it has almost come full circle.  In my balding state of old age, I am contemplating getting a buzz cut.  Thinking of shearing it all off . . . and I even own my own shears.  So far, I have resisted it but come my final retirement . . . buzz!  It is gone.

 

Haircuts have always been an adventure . . . a hassle.  For a long time, it wasn’t a problem.  I just looked for the red-white-blue barber pole.  Seeing that pole I knew I could get a haircut by a barber.  I felt safe . . . and besides, if the barber screwed it up it would grow back in a couple of weeks, or I could wear a hat.  Then the times changed.  Barbers became a dying breed—at least in the bigger communities where I lived.  They were replaced by cosmetologists, beauticians, and hairstylists . . . and they all proclaimed to cut hair.  But they weren’t the same.  I didn’t need to learn about the cosmos while having my hair cut.  Shoot! When you think of yourself as looking like Brad Pitt . . . who needs to be beautified.  And I certainly didn’t need style for my hair.  I just wanted a haircut!

 

Since moving to Montana over sixteen years ago, my journey has taken me to a variety of places to have my hair cut.  They have run the full gamut.  I’ve had my hair cut by cosmetologists . . . beauticians have attempted to but my hair between the dye jobs and perms in an attempt to keep me beautiful . . . and stylists have attempted to give me style.  Being in a rural community makes getting a haircut tough.

 

There is a shop in our town.  It is a combination of all three . . . cosmetologist, beautician, and hairstylist.  They are whatever you need them to be.  The problem is that they are never open when I need a haircut.  Also, I feel bad that all I want is a simple haircut when they do so much more.  I could get my nails done while having whatever hair I still have left.  My granddaughters would think that was cool and that I actually have style.  I could get a perm, but I really don’t picture Brad Pitt with a perm . . . it would be more like Bob Ross than Brad Pitt.  Plus, they are expensive, and I am cheap.  For their prices they should also remove all the hair that migrated south from my head to other parts of my body—like my chest, back, and ears!  I do know that they do waxing . . . ouch!

 

As I said, it has been an adventure.  I have done it all from the cosmetologist to those franchised haircutting factories like Cost Cutters.  I rarely walked away satisfied.  Then I discovered Bob’s Barbershop down the road in a nearby town.  Bob’s Barbershop even has the red-white-blue pole announcing to the community that it is a bonified barbershop providing haircuts from its humble abode—plus he is open on Saturdays.

 

It is a classic barbershop.  Several chairs in the entrance, the ancient barber chair in front of a mirror, hair clippings on the floor.  Several days of newspapers lying around.  He uses clippers and occasionally scissors.  Wraps your neck with tissue paper.  Shaves your neck when done cutting.  Even has a pool table to kill time while waiting.  A television is cued to hunting and fishing channels.  Music playing that switch between classic country or classic rock—there is no Taylor Swift.  I hate to say it, but his is a “man’s” space.  The testosterone drips and oozes from the place.  And did I say it . . . a real barber pole!

 

Barbershops are disappearing from our landscape.  It’s a shame.  Barbershops have been around since at least 5000 BC.  The first barbering services were performed by Egyptians.  They were respected in their communities.  Barbering can be found throughout history and cultures.  In the Middle Ages barbers did more than just cut hair.  They also performed surgeries, did bloodletting and leeching, fire cupping, enemas, and the extraction of teeth.  It was a “one stop shop” . . . I mean, think about it, who wouldn’t want an enema or tooth pulled while getting a haircut.

 

From the beginning, the barbershop was also a place for social interaction and gathering.  They have always been a place where men could gather, talk, shoot the breeze, tell tall tales, and gossip.  Yes, men gossip. It has always been a place for men to hang out and bullshit.

 

Bob’s Barbershop is such a place.

 

I got a haircut yesterday.  I sat in the chair as customers—men of all ages—shot the breeze (there is no limit on the number of breezes that can be shot), gossiped, and debated the world’s current events.  I’ve witnessed some lively debates (actually arguments) take place while getting my hair cut.  I hear it all—politics, weather, sports, the local ski hill, critter sightings . . . it is all there.  It is a safe place where masculinity can exert itself away from the world of females—especially spouses.  It is utter BS at its finest and you better wear boots.

 

It felt good to get a haircut yesterday.  I talked to a young man who had lived in parts of Nebraska where I had lived.  Spoke to an eighteen-year-old who is graduating in about a month and his dreams of becoming a mining engineer.  Another spoke about the weather.  Bob and I spoke about the Orange One’s actions towards Canada and making it the 51st state and how it would affect his business.  Apparently, a lot of Canadian like to get their hair cut during the tourist season.  Just sitting there, the clippers humming, I felt safe.  I felt I belonged.

 

Upon completion, Bob asked what my plans were for the rest of the day.  I explained that the wife had ordered furniture for the deck that she wanted me to assemble—rocking chairs and a table.  It was a “honey do” task.  I shared that assembling furniture was not something I enjoyed doing.  He offered me the opportunity to stay in the shop all day if I wanted.  I have never heard that in a beauty shop or hair salon.  As much as I appreciated the invitation, I knew better.  What hair was still on my head would be scalped if I did.  I declined.

 

As I walked out the door, I turned and wished everyone a “good day!”  The choral response was “you too!”  It was a holy moment . . . sacred.  A benediction of sorts . . . “peace be with you” . . . and in sacred response, “And also with you.”  It is an eternal rite of blessing still occurring today.  You can only find it in a barbershop . . . one with a pole.  A pole that marks sanctuary.

 

Yup, it felt good . . . its been a long journey.


 

Thursday, March 13, 2025

Why’s Everybody Pickin’ on Me?

Charlie Brown . . . not the Charles Schultz character, but the one made famous by 1950s do-wop group the Coasters.  The Coasters version of Charlie Brown was the opposite of Schultz loveable character.  The Coaters’ version of Charlie Brown was closer to a hoodlum.  In the song, Charlie Brown despite his anti-social, rule breaking behavior is constantly lamenting that he is a poor persecuted soul.  The key catch phrase in the song is the classic line: “Why’s everybody pickin’ on me?”

Charlie Brown from the song is always breaking the rules.  Smoking in the auditorium.  Goofing off in the hallways.  Disrupting class.  Flirting with the teacher.  Throwing spitballs.  Writing on the walls.  Through it all he sees himself as the coolest kid in the school.  Everyone knows he’s eventually going to get caught.

 

Sound like anyone you know.

 

I must admit that my postings on social media lean towards what some would say is “picking on” our present president.  My Friends and acquaintances think that I am hard on him.  They are always asking “Why am I always picking on him?”  Because he makes it so easy . . . he’s a political “Charlie Brown”.  As the lyrics go, “He’s a clown, that Charlie Brown”.  Also, just as the lyrics state: “He’s gonna get caught, just wait and see.”

 

The evidence continues to stack up against our current president—he’s a clown.  Plain and simple.  From the circus of a cabinet that he has chosen to his total disregard for the Constitution, this individual has proven time and again what a clown he is.  From the constant flip-flopping on tariffs to the gutting of the government, he’s a clown who obviously has no clue as to what he is doing.  He breaks every law and moral value to do what he wants to do.  Damn the consequences of what he does . . . damn the people he throws under the bus.  Besides it’s not his fault . . . the blame all falls on the previous administration.  The circus rolls on. 

 

Obviously, the question for my MAGA friends and acquaintances is whether or not the president’s blatant disregard for the Constitution and moral edicts should go unchallenged?  The man is running roughshod over all that Americans hold sacred . . . the foundation of what makes and made America great.  There are over a hundred court cases challenging this president’s loose regard to governing recklessly through executive orders.  From the pettiness of renaming landmarks and locations to the blatant disregard of human rights guaranteed under the Constitution, this president doesn’t care about anyone but himself and his wealthy cronies.

 

Please do not tell me that you have to crush a few eggs to make an omelet . . . who can afford the eggs?  Don’t tell me that it will take time as this guy plays with our nation’s economic health.  A person who has a horrific track record as a businessperson . . . his record speaks for itself, and it sucks. The whining complaint that people are picking on him holds no water.  The man willfully breaks his oath to protect our nation and its people.  Hundreds of years have been thrown out the window.  For an individual whose promised goal was to make American great again . . . well, he is falling woefully short.

 

Despite what he thinks of himself . . . he is not cool.  It doesn’t matter what he thinks.  He is not cool . . . and we are paying the price.  He is breaking all the rules.  Ignoring all the laws.  Throwing out the Constitution. Bullying.  Threatening.  Lying.  Everyone knows it.  He’s our “Charlie Brown”.  No one is picking on him . . . he’s making his bed, so let him sleep in it.  Plain and simple.  Someone must speak up.

 

Yup . . . Donald Trump is our “Charlie Brown”.  And he keeps getting caught—over a hundred times and rising daily.  Just think, we haven’t even gotten through his first hundred days!  Oh, Charlie Brown . . . he’s a clown, that Charlie Brown . . . he’s gonna get caught . . . just you wait and see.  Oh, Donald . . . what goes around comes around.  At least that is what we hope for.