I Egg-erate Not!

I am beginning to think that the hottest items on the black market are eggs.  I exaggerate not!  Since the start of February there have been two major heists of eggs.  In Pennsylvania there was a theft of 100,000 organic eggs from Pete & Garry’s Organics.  The estimated value of the eggs was approximately $40,000.  In Seattle at the Luna Park Café thieves absconded with 540 eggs along with bacon, ground beef, and blueberries valued at $780.  Sounds like the Seattle heisters were looking for breakfast!  Also, it is being reported that those states that border Mexico are beginning to see an influx of eggs being smuggled over the border.  Rumor has it that smuggled eggs have replaced the drug traffic as the number one issue for the present administration.

Whatever the case . . . eggs are a hot item, and the prices continue to escalate to new heights every day.  The price of eggs has gotten so high that it actually solved my problem of what to get my love for Valentine’s Day . . . eggs!  Nothing says “I love you” like a couple of dozen eggs.

 

I love my eggs.  I like them fried.  I like them scrambled.  I like them boiled. I like them deviled. I even like them dropped into chicken broth to make egg-drop soup. I like them mixed into my fried rice.  I love my eggs and consider them an essential part of my diet.  This egg crisis has me concerned.

 

So far, the wife has been able to find eggs to buy each week when grocery shopping . . . but she tells me it is getting more difficult.  She tells me that they are getting scarcer to the point that grocery stores are beginning to place a limit on the number of eggs that can be bought at one time.  I won’t be surprised that the locals that own chickens will probably start selling eggs out of the trunk of their cars soon at the grocery stores.  Probably put someone at the door going, “Psst! Looking for eggs?”  It won’t be long before fistfights break out in the egg aisle as folks joust for the last dozen on the shelf.

 

As I said, so far, the egg supply to the Keener homestead hasn’t been hampered by the eggs shortage . . . cost more, but they are still showing up on the menu.  Still . . . I’m concerned.  I have caught myself daydreaming about the lucrative egg market and maybe getting a few chickens for the backyard.  Might be able to pay off my mortgage with a couple of chickens.  Who knows!  All I know right now is that the price of eggs is skyrocketing, and the opportunity is knocking at the door.  As both the wife and I being avian fans, chickens in the backyard is not too appealing.  The dogs would love it and see them more as toys to be chased than something to line our pockets with.

 

Besides . . . I am not a risk taker.  Yes, I understand that there is usually a great reward for taking risks, but I am not a risk taker.  I take the safe way.  Besides, I would make a lousy criminal . . . I’d get caught. I read that if a person gets caught smuggling in eggs into the United States that there could be fines up to $10,000 on a large scale . . . or $300 on a small scale for an individual.  Even if the eggs are declared they will probably get confiscated and destroyed.  It won’t be long before states, counties, and towns start making laws concerning black market eggs . . . people will have to have licenses to sell them.  Right now, in Montana I’ll bet the Hutterites have already cornered all the egg markets above and below the table.  I would hate to have a late-night visitor show up at my door and break all my eggs . . . those Hutterites can be pretty persuasive.

 

People are up in arms right now about eggs . . . they are too expensive, and the price is continuing to rise daily.  Lots of people were counting on the president to come through with lowering the price of groceries, especially eggs.  Something that he hasn’t accomplished yet.  As much as I want to jump on the bandwagon and point a finger at the president . . . I can’t.  The egg crisis isn’t his fault.  Avian flu is the biggest culprit, but of course, out president doesn’t believe in pandemics even if they are avian in nature.  He blames the previous president and administration proclaiming it to be a conspiracy.  Whatever . . . the bottom line is that the price of eggs is skyrocketing, and they are becoming scarcer to find.  And his promise is still on the plate where the eggs should be.  He needs to remember that loose lips sink ships, and he has the loosest lips in the world.

 

I guess I shouldn’t be crying over broken eggs . . . I am certain there will be much more that is important to cry over in the next four years.  It is silly that we are lamenting over the price of eggs when so much of what is held sacred in our nation is being trampled over by a bunch of goons under the direction of the president and his administration.  We should put such effort into stopping the dismantling of our nation and its constitution.  Eggs should be the least of our worries.  I can live without eggs, but I don’t think I can live with the loss of our nation.

 

Doing Whatcha Gotta Do

McMullen Hall is the administrative building on the campus of Montana State University Billings.  It is where all the major and important decisions about the university are made, thus there are a lot of people in and out of the building.  Lots of “human” traffic as it is a busy place.  With the arrival of spring the campus usually picks up some new inhabitants that are not usually here during the regular school year—wood ducks.  The wood ducks replace the wild turkeys that wander around the campus during the school year.  This year was no different, with the warmer weather the turkeys went into hiding and the ducks replaced them.

I am not sure where the turkeys wander off to, but for a while the ducks have the run of the campus.  They like the irrigation canal that runs through the campus, plus they like the water sprinklers.  Either way, I like the wild life that inhabits the campus and I especially like the ducks . . . especially when they have hatched their ducklings.  They are a blast to watch.

Now I do not know the pregnancy cycle of the wood duck and nor do I really want to learn.  What I do know is that they hatch their young in’s from eggs—they lay on top of the eggs until the little boogers are ready to come out and meet the world.  I do not know whether or not the female duck carries the egg around until it is ready to drop—sort of like a woman carries a baby and it is ready to come.  If that is the case, then I imagine that whenever that egg is ready to drop that the mother duck drops it wherever it might be.  For example, like in a flower bed next to the busiest building on campus.  Sort of like the one I have pictured below.

 

There is quite a debate on campus about the mental health of the duck pictured above.  It seems that about two weeks ago it decided that the flower bed in front of McMullen Hall was the place to hatch its brood.  So imagine it was just walking around, felt those “birth” pangs coming on, and looked around for a convenient place to deposit her eggs.  From what I understand there are approximately four eggs that she is incubating among the flowers.  She is pretty oblivious to the world around her as she nestles there among the flowers.  She doesn’t bother anyone, and no bothers her.  I imagine that if anyone did bother her or her nest they deserve everything that they get.

Typically ducks do not lay their eggs right out there in public for the whole world to see.  Why this particular duck chose to do this . . . well, that is the debate.  Some folks believe the duck is losing it—going quackers in a way.  I don’t agree with that theory.  I think this little duck did what it had to do.  I think that those little boogers just showed up, demanded a place in the world, and she did what she had to do . . . she plopped them out . . . right there in the flower garden where she happened to be at the time.  What else could she do?  When Mother Nature calls we all do well to heed her call.

I admire that little duck as she covers her nest.  I admire that she did the only thing that she could do and that was to complete the job that she was given.  Thus she sits there as the world wanders by, gawking, pointing, and laughing at the absurdity (at least in their minds) of this little duck’s situation.  The bottom line, though, is that the duck is doing what she needed to do.  I have yet to hear a complaint escape her bill lamenting her situation.  I have watched as she tirelessly and patiently awaits the hatching of her brood.  And, I have anticipated the day when those little quackers show up.  It won’t be long . . . in the meantime, she does what she has to do.

I guess deep down I admire her because she is doing what most of us never do, and that is to deal with our lives and the cards that we are dealt . . . that we just don’t always do what we have to do.  Instead of complaining and lamenting  . . . she patiently awaits and does her job.  I guess she has a lot to teach us all.