Again, I begin the countdown to retirement. This time it is for real. My contract as interim director at the university ends on December 31st. As that date approaches, I have been doing all the necessary paperwork . . . HR forms, Social Security, state retirement paperwork, and lining up my Part B for Medicare. I have been doing all the healthcare stuff before my university insurance expires . . . dentist, optometrist, medical doctor that resulted in a colonoscopy. Retiring is no simple task . . . too much paperwork, hoop-jumping, and running around. You would think that once you said you were “done” that that would be it. Hand you a gold watch and push you out the door.
This time I am ready for retirement. The hardest part of retirement (besides all the hoop-jumping) is having to deal with the bombardment of questions about my plans once I am retired. Seems like everyone wants to know . . . after the congratulations comes the barrage of inquiries of what I am going to do once I am out to pasture.
I have a friend who retired from the ministry several years ago. He was meticulous in planning his retirement. He did it for years. He wanted to be prepared. One of the things that he talked about in planning his retirement was the “seasons of life”. Like many, he saw life as four seasons . . . spring, summer, autumn, and winter. He viewed retirement as the doorway into the final season of life . . . winter. He wanted to be ready for his last hooray.
Spring is the first season of life. Spring represents new beginnings, youth, and renewal. Summer is the peak of life, filled with passion and growth. Autumn reflects change, maturity, and harvest. Winter brings rest, reflection, and endings. In this pattern of life, one moves through each season until the journey is complete. I guess in a sense I can see this, though I can also see that there are no distinct and definitive boundaries between the seasons. I believe there is a blurring between the seasons where they mix and mingle.
I can attest that I can see these seasons in my life adventure. I’ve experienced each of these seasons as I prepare to enter my “final season”. Yet, at the same time, there are bits and pieces of the seasons showing up unseasonably throughout. Spring may represent the start of my life journey with all that it represents, but through all of the seasons I have had new beginnings . . . new starts. Isn’t that what I’m doing as I enter the season of winter? Starting over, yet again?
Even as I enter the season of winter, the passion found in summer is lurking around. Now I will be able to jump in with both feet and broadly explore those “passions” I never had enough time to do during the other seasons of my life. Winter may represent the “end”, but there is still plenty of growth yet to come.
Autumn . . . change, maturity, and harvest. The transition between seasons is “change”. Maturity . . . no one ever said I was mature. Quite the opposite. I imagine it probably should be something I strive for before it is all over. The harvest has been and will continue to be bountiful. Life is not stagnated and neither should one’s embracing it.
The final season—winter. A time for rest. Finally, I will have time to actually rest. Naps abound! Reflection is a toll for all seasons. If not, I doubt I would be here now. Winter would have come a lot sooner. It is true that there will be endings, but endings can be new beginnings.
The four seasons is a nice model, but I have looked as life that way.
Someone else said that the four seasons of life are: single, married, children, and empty nest. I guess this model is a little more practical. Though an acceptable model, not everyone follows this model. Now everyone will get married. Not everyone will have children. Even though it is not perfect for everyone, I cam jam my life into this seasonal description, yes, I was single . . . it was an adventure . . . it was fun. Marriage kind of threw a wrench into it. Yup, I got married and I am still married. For some marriage is a good argument for staying single. I can’t complain. Marriage has been good. I’ve got children—still do and it has been amplified with grandchildren. Tumultuous at times, but they have and continue to be worth it. Empty nest is a fallacy . . .once you have children, you always have children. They never really leave even though they leave the house. They are always my children, and they need me less and less, but they still need me. We are connected.
This model explains things on paper and in theory, but it is not a neat and clean model for me.
Of course, none of these answers the question about what I plan on doing when I retire. Inquiring minds want to know. People are curious. My wife wants to know . . . I think she believes I am going to be a stick in the mud messing up her retirement routine that she has had for over a year. She shouldn’t worry. She’s an extrovert. I’m an introvert. Her routine involves too much going with too many people. That is not me. I don’t need lots of people. I have my dogs and I am happy.
The children want to know. I think they are scared that I am going to camp out on their front porches or down in the basements. It could happen because they hold the keys to the grandchildren. But it won’t. They need to go through whatever seasons of life are a part of their journeys. They have no need to build a grandparent’s suite to their houses. When the opportunities arise, I will be there loving and supporting them.
For everyone else, asking the question is a curtesy. Most people are just being nice and really don’t care what I am going to be doing once I retire. They really don’t care. And that is okay. As I said, I am an introvert. I don’t need a lot of people in my life. At the same time, there are those who ask because they are fearful that I am going to disappear. They think that I have too much to offer to retire. Again, I appreciate the trust and belief they have in me, but someone always steps in to fill the shoes. If I kept doing what I am doing I wouldn’t be retiring—right?
So . . . what am I going to do when I retire?
Time will tell. I will read. I have lots of books stacked up on my nightstand and throughout the house. I will write. I like to write and now I will have more time to write. I will walk . . . especially my dogs. Working at a desk has made my presence bigger and waling will slim that presence down. I will photograph . . . I love to play with my cameras. Now I will have more time to do so . . . especially critter creeping. I will finally get around to emptying the basement and garage of all those boxes of stuff that have been hanging around for 17 years! I will make trips with my wife especially to see the kids and grandchildren. I will explore the area I live in and the rest of Montana . . . my list is long. I will sit on the deck and enjoy the small chunk of paradise I call home. I will continue to put mini-stories and profane thoughts on social media. I will surely be approached with a “honey do” list that will have to be done. And I will take each day as it comes. That should be enough adventure as this is Montana . . . the sky is the limit. Montana is the “big sky” state.
As the countdown ebbs towards that final day, I am not worried about what I will do once I am retired. It will be what it is and if it is anything like what precluded it . . . well, it will be an adventure! It won’t be the end . . . the journey can continue and you can find me on the deck watching the sun set, enjoying a cool beverage, and being thankful that I actually made it.
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