Isn’t It Ironic

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought

"Well isn't this nice..."

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right

And life has a funny way of helping you out when

You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up

In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

It's meeting the man of my dreams

And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic...don't you think

A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

(Ironic by Alanis Morissette)

I couldn’t help but to notice this little tidbit in the news . . . a guy in New York was released from prison after serving 23 years for a crime that he did not commit . . . and then, two days after being released he had a heart-attack.  Kind of ironic . . . don’t you think?

Sounds like the guy has my luck.  On the old television show Hee Haw there was a skit in which a bunch of so-called hillbillies are lounging around the front porch of a run-down shack.  They break out in what I have considered to be my theme song when it comes to luck: “Gloom, despair, excessive misery . . . if it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”  Irony and I have been friends for a long time . . . only sort of luck I know.

As a kid if anything could go wrong for me, it did.  One winter day, while playing in the woods, several of us decided to cross the frozen pond in the creek.  The ice looked firm enough . . . especially after three of my friends traipsed across without even a crack . . . so, off I started.  Half way across the pond there was a loud crack, the ice beneath my feet disappeared, and I was up to my chin in ice cold water . . . much to the delight of my three friends.  Kind of ironic wouldn’t you say?

Another time we were playing a soccer game in our neighborhood.   One off the neighbors had two dogs chained in their yard.  They looked pretty harmless as they laid there ignoring all of us noisy kids playing.  Over and over again the ball would get kicked up into the yard with the two dogs . . . and the dogs never moved as one of us ran up to retrieve the ball.  We probably did that five or six times before it was my turn to retrieve the ball.  Buoyed by the fact that no one before me had even gotten one of the dogs to open its eyes or even flinch, I strolled right up there, picked up the ball, turned around, and was immediately bit right in the calf.  Ironic . . . maybe, but what was more ironic is that two nights later someone poisoned those two dogs while they were quarantined.  Yeah, I’d say ironic.

Irony fills my life . . . probably was not the first person from my graduating high school class that people imagined would be a minister . . . now I have been one for 30 years . . . ironic.  Watch as car after car goes speeding by, finally get the courage to put the pedal to the metal, and immediately get pulled over as everyone else goes speeding by.  Have to go to the bathroom at church, the men’s room is occupied and really have to go, so I hop into the women’s room . . . open the door after taking care of business and I am greeted by the one woman in the whole church you wouldn’t want to run into coming out of the women’s room.  Avoid hitting one deer on the road, two miles down . . . hit a deer.  If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all . . . ironic.

I understand the lyrics to Alanis Morissette’s song quite well . . . I have lived them.  I imagine that the guy, David Ranta, understands them too.  From the very beginning he claimed he was innocent . . . even had someone come forward and confess that someone else did the crime . . . but, he still ended up in prison.  His daughter was two years old when he went into prison and she was there when the judge set him free.  Asked what he wanted to do now that he was free, he smiles and said, “Yeah.  Get the hell out of here, maybe.”  Now, he is in the hospital recovering from a heart attack.  Ironic.

Mother Teresa once said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”  I know what she means!  At least I have some sort of luck!