Two roads diverged
in a wood, and I--
I took the one less
traveled by,
And that has made
all the difference.
(Robert Frost)
As a minister I have sat with countless
numbers of families when they have received the news that they were hoping
never to hear. Each time--no matter how
shocking the news--I have had to be supportive and understanding. I have had to be the voice of calmness in a
storm of uncertainty. I have had to be
the reality. And . . . it has never been
easy. It has never been easy to hear the
news that a loved one only has a matter of time to live. It has been diagnosed with an incurable
disease. It has never been easy to
discover that a loved one is dead. Each
and every time I have been amazed that I have found the strength to endure such
a difficult moment and able to offer some sort of comfort, support, and even
hope.
As I write this evening I have received
news that our granddaughter--little Emily--may have a serious genetic
disorder. Osteogenesis imperfecta or what is more commonly known as
"brittle bone disease" is the preliminary diagnosis that the
pediatrician has given to Emily after a recent check-up. Kind of shocking news to get out of the blue.
Everyone intimately involved in the
birth of Emily knew that there were certain "risks" involved with the
pregnancy--as there are with any pregnancy--as her mother has Lupus. Recently
little Emily developed a rash which is often a symptom of Neonatal Lupus which is not uncommon when the mother has
Lupus. It is not life-threatening and is
more of an inconvenience than anything.
So it came as quite a shock when the doctor told Emily's mother the
diagnosis. As she related the news to
others in the family the shock wave reverberated down the line.
According to one medical website (http://orthopedics.about.com/cs/pediatricsurgery/a/oi.htm):
Osteogenesis imperfecta, commonly
called brittle bone disease, is a disease that causes a defect in the
production of a protein called collagen. Collagen is an important protein that
helps to support the body -- think of it as the scaffold upon which the body is
built. There are several types of collagen, the most abundant of which is
called type I collagen. Type I collagen
is found in bone, the sclera of the eye, ligaments, and teeth. Osteogenesis
imperfecta occurs when there is a defect in type I collagen production.
There are four types of this genetic
disorder:
Type I: mildest form; seen in preschool
aged children
Type II: lethal at birth
Type III: seen at birth; many
fractures; often unable to walk
Type IV: severity between type I and
type III
There are also eight sub-types of this
disorder.
This is just the sort of news that one
wants to hear on a Monday night. Kind of
puts a damper on the other events of the day.
But that was the news that the wife shared this evening. Where is that minister when you need him or
her?
A funny thing happens when "bad
news" is delivered . . . everyone jumps to the worse conclusion. Basically the doctor offered an educated
guess--which is still a guess--as a diagnosis.
His recommendation is that little Emily be seen by a pediatric
orthopedic doctor in the Denver children's hospital and be tested for this
disorder. The doctor suspects it and
does not yet know for certain. Thus
there will be tests run . . . and then more tests as the medical experts
determine whether the doctor's suspicions are correct. With four types and eight sub-types it is
easy to jump to conclusions . . . we all do it.
In Alcoholic Anonymous one of their
catch phrases is: "Poop happens"!
This is definitely one of those situations in which poop is a key event
dropping on the lives of those intimately involved with Emily. Now begins the "hurry up and wait"
game. This is a game that I know most of
us are lousy at playing . . . I know that I am.
With time on one's hands it is easy to jump all over the board in
guessing what little Emily might have.
There is the tendency to bounce around from the best scenario to the
worse. It is frustrating,
nerve-wracking, and a royal pain in the caboose. This evening that is where we are at. Thus we wait . . .
I have talked to the wife and it
saddens her heart . . . and she cried. I
have talked to my son--Em's father--and it breaks his heart . . . and he has
shed his fair share of tears. I have yet
to have the opportunity to talk to Em's mother, but that may be yet to
come. Other family members have shared
their concern. And here I sit, not sure
what I want to do.
On the one hand I want to cry . . . on
another hand I want to yell and scream at God . . . while on another I am just
too stunned to do anything at all . . . and so I am writing. I have tried to be the sensible and reasoning
voice with those that I love. On the one
hand I want to hope for the best, while on the other I want to prepare for the
worse. I wish I could wrap my arms
around little Emily, her parents, and all those who love her and assure them
that it will be okay no matter what we learn.
In moments it is overwhelming . . . numbing . . . and a downright pain
in the rear end.
What can I say?
All I can say is that we have come to a
fork in the road . . . and a decision must be made. It is a decision at this point that none of
us who love little Emily can make . . . only one that we can accept. Whether it is the more downtrodden path or
the path least travel we have to travel down that path. It does not change the way that we love this
precious child . . . it does not change the way that we love one another . . .
it only changes the direction in which we move.
That is just the way it is. It
does not matter what our emotions and feelings are on the path put before us .
. . whatever the diagnosis becomes, it is the path we must follow.
Whichever path we are sent to
follow--despite the uncertainty of it all, I do know that I cannot stop loving
anyone who is involved. I love little
Emily who has been given a burden that she can only survive with the love an
support of those who love her. It is
becoming apparent that little Emily has chosen a path to test our love for
her. I love each and every individual
involved in this great adventure . . . individuals I have met and those I have
only heard about. And, I know that none
of us is alone . . . we have one another and a God who will not abandon
us. All of us can only grow stronger.
Sometimes in life we are not given a
choice. In those moments all we can do
is to trust in one another . . . trust in God . . . and take the road less
traveled. It will make a difference.
God's traveling mercies upon us all . .
.
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