Facebook Hell

Several years ago my children convinced me to use Facebook.  They said that I needed to get with the "times" and that it was an easy way to keep up with them--they later told me that that was "creeping", but that they didn't mind since I was their father.  Primarily I use Facebook as a place to post my pictures, keep in touch with my children and friends, and as a means of keeping the local church abreast of things happening in the church.  For the most part I do not post too often because I like keeping my private life private--a quirk of being an introvert. 

 For the most part, Facebook is no big deal--a tool to be used and used carefully.  As we all know, there are no free things in life--everything has a price whether it is written or unwritten there is going to be a cost.  That is true with Facebook . . . though no one pays anything to belong to and use Facebook, there is a cost that comes with it.  This cost, as I have discovered, is what I call "Facebook Hell."  It is what I have to pay for posting my pictures and creeping on my children.  Once you enter it you cannot escape it no matter how much you attempt to block, delete, and ignore it--it is always there!  Always!

One part of Facebook Hell is those constant quizzes that keep showing up on my wall.  Primarily quizzes that my so-called friends have taken.  Quizzes to know what sort of fruit one is, what movie or cartoon character one is, when one is going to die, and so on and so forth.  All these quizzes come with invitations to "take their quiz and find out."  Well, I never did like taking quizzes when I was in school and several decades later I still don't.  I do not care what kind of fruit I am, nor do I care which cartoon character I resemble.  I do not care when I am going to die.  I just don't care and I really don't care for all of the silly Facebook quizzes that keep popping up on my walls inviting me to discover something about myself.  Which brings me to my least favorite quiz . . . "Your friend answered a question about you--do you want to know what they said?"  Really?  No, I do not care.  If they were my friend they would have already told me without publicizing it to the whole world.  Besides, I check and most of them were wrong.

Another part of Facebook Hell are the seemingly millions of games people are playing.  These addictive, time consuming games are everywhere on Facebook and appearing on my wall inviting me to join in.  Now, I am a competitive individual--I like to win, especially when it comes to human created games for the computer or some sort of gaming station.  I figure that if a human created it, a human should be able to break it.  Ha!  Silly me.  I have found these "games" to be frustrating and unbeatable because I am not willing to invest enough time to win--I'd rather be outside enjoying God's creation and interacting with real people.  Besides, I get enough game playing just walking through life every day with the rest of the human race.  So, please do not invite me to be a part of your hit team in Mafia Wars or to ship you a herd of sheep for your farm.  Because, frankly:

Add to Facebook Hell the constant bombardment I receive on my wall from well-intentioned friends and family members wanting me to "re-post" something that they have put upon their wall.  Typically these requests for re-posting have to do with one's patriotism, faith, love of family and children, or some specific cause, organization, or ideology.  These always come with such statistics such as "97% of those on Facebook won't have the guts to re-post this" as some sort of challenge to one's pride--a negative means that I do not care for.  If I want to be shamed into re-posting something I'll just look in the mirror--I don't need anyone's help in the shame department.  For those of you wanting to know, I rarely--if ever, re-post.  I love my country and consider myself a patriot whether I re-post or not.  I am a person of deep faith and do not need to re-post something on my wall to prove it to anyone else--God knows.  I love my family, appreciate my siblings, worship the group my children walk on, and believe in certain causes, support certain organizations, and even make donations--BUT, if you want to know, ask me.  Don't try to shame me into re-posting something--it won't work.

Lastly, the worse part of Facebook Hell is the advertisements.  Apparently Facebook has the means to track the sites I visit and armed with this knowledge they like to put up all sorts of advertisements on my wall.  So far I have been flooded with advertisements for cartoon strips, newspapers, micro brews, and ointments for hemorrhoids.  The AARP is another one that I get bombarded with . . . guess I am getting older.  I guess I can't fault Facebook for doing this, but using my private browsing habits is really intrusive especially since I am such an introvert.  I really did not care for anyone to know about that hemorrhoid problem.  I imagine they have to make some money somehow, but from what I understand they are raking it in faster than they can deposit it in the bank.  Maybe, if they would send me a chunk of those profits I might actually read the advertisements . . . might even be able to afford a little Preparation H!

Well, that is my rant about Facebook Hell.  It does exist.  You know it does.  I have heard countless others moan and groan, whine and complain about all of these things after they got onto Facebook.  It is lamenting of biblical proportions.  But, hey!  That is the cost of getting a "free"social networking site in one's life.  There is hell to be paid.  And, so, I leave you with this . . .

You can't escape Facebook or its Hell.  It is everywhere!