Bobblehead Phobia

Phobia: A persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

Bobblehead: A bobblehead doll, also known as a bobbing head doll, nodder, or wobbler, is a type of collectible toy. Its head is often oversized compared to its body. Instead of a solid connection, its head is connected to the body by a spring or hook in such a way that a light tap will cause the head to bobble, hence the name.

Bobblehead Phobia: A persistent, irrational fear of a bobblehead doll that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

Growing up as a kid I remember seeing them in the back windows of cars as they sped by on the road--fuzzy little dogs with their heads bobbing up and down, left and right.  These were the images of bobbleheads that I remember as a kid, but as I got to be an adult I learned that there was a whole world of bobbleheads out there in the world!  There are bobbleheads of actors, cartoon characters, historical figures, animals other than dogs, and sports stars.  There are bobbleheads even of Jesus!

When we moved to Montana we started attending the big city's rookie baseball team's games--we are on our third year now.  Besides loving baseball I also love the promotional give-a-ways that the sponsors give away at the games.  Each season the team gives away two bobbleheads of players who used to play for the team.  After I got my first one I was hooked.  There are two games I never miss each season and those are the two in which bobbleheads are the prize.    This upcoming Saturday night I will have my sixth bobblehead. Actually, I have eight bobbleheads on display right now.  My daughter's father-in-law gave me two of the bobbleheads that they sponsored when they had a business in the big city.  The other bobblehead is one that I picked up from a local yard sale.   

These little dolls are nice collectibles.  They stand about seven inches tall and have heads that are mounted to springs to make them bobble.  I have my collection on my office wall unit in the basement of the house.  Unless there is an earthquake the bobbleheads rarely bobble.  As collectibles there are people out there in the world who are willing to pay ridiculous prices to own them--especially if they are ones that they do not have.  I was surprised to learn how much the bobbleheads are worth that I have in my office.

  Jay Bruce-2009

$49.95

Chris Dickerson-2009

$44.95

Drew Stubbs-2010

$44.95

Jason LaRue-2010

$39.95

Paul Janish-2011

????

Aaron Boone-2003

$39.95

George Brett-2002

$100 range

Ichiro Suzuki-262 Hits-2005

Bought for a quarter now worth

$49.95

I have developed a nice display since moving to Montana and have a minor investment in these bobbleheads (average price for a ticket to the games was $5.00).  I really like the way that they make my office look . . . except late at night.  Late at night they begin to freak me out a little--especially when I am tired.  It is like Their eyes follow me around the room.  It feels like they are bobbling their heads at one another in some sort of a conspiracy to do something--something to me.  As soon as I turn my head they are as still as statues--it matters not how quickly I turn my head they are never bobbing.  Good muscle control I figure!  But late at night I know that they are up to something.  I think that is why the dogs won't come into the room except when I am in there.  The dogs know that something is up.

The bobbleheads and the gnomes--yes, gnomes--are teaming up and are out to get me.  I have three sports garden gnomes in my office too.  The first one I got was of my favorite baseball team--the Baltimore Orioles, thanks to my daughter.  The second one I purchased of my favorite college football team--the Nebraska Cornhuskers.  The third one was a promotional give-a-way at the big city's baseball team's game.  Though their heads do not bob, their eyes follow me around the room.  It is a conspiracy.

The Gang of Gnomes

I know that something is up--the bobbleheads and gnomes are up to something . . . something bad.  Maybe I have watched too many Chucky or Toy Story movies in which the toys come to life and do all sorts of things unbeknownest to any of us.  It is spooky!  As a kid I imagined that my toys came to life while I was sleeping in the dark, but I thought I grew out of that a long time ago . . . but, maybe I am wrong and they really do come to life when the lights go out.  Maybe the bobbleheads are just waiting for me to get the new bobblehead on Saturday (Corky Miller, by the way) so that they can have a full team--sort of Field of Dreams sort of thing.  Then I imagine the gnomes will want me to hurry up and get six more of them so that they can have a team.  The bobbleheads and gnomes will then start playing games--my office will be a mess and the dogs will be nervous wrecks.  I don't know . . . 

. . . something is up.  I can feel it.  Call it a phobia if you want, but I know that something is up.  I think Ichiro is the gang leader egg it all on.  I can't prove it but he looks suspicious as he is the only one not from the big city's team!  Whatever the case, if I disappear one day--CHECK THE BOBBLEHEADS and GNOMES--they'll know something.  In the meantime maybe I should invest in a Jesus bobblehead--surely he could keep the peace and insure my safety.  This is the one I'm saving up for now:

I think I would feel safer with a Jesus bobblehead in my collection.  In fact, I know that I would.  A Jesus bobblehead is as good as any plastic Jesus that my Catholic friends have on the dashboard of their cars.  If it works for them, it will work for me.  As the song goes:

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

Yeah, that is what I will do!  I'm feeling better already!  Who says I have a bobblehead phobia?