Plastic Jesus . . . Obsolete?

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through all trials and tribulations,

We will travel every nation,

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

(Ed Rush and George Cromarty, 1957)

Another cornerstone of my faith has fallen to the wayside . . . the plastic Jesus.  Seems that the plastic Jesus as a symbol of faith has bitten the dust and been replaced . . . heaven forbid . . . with the gun.  Yes, the gun.  It is no longer good enough to have faith in Jesus to arm oneself through the perils of the journey of life and faith; now one must armed one’s self with a Glock.

With the recent school shooting in Connecticut and mass shootings elsewhere there has been a lot of debate about guns and gun control.  Lots of proponents on both sides of the issue are drawing lines in the sand and arming themselves for the debate.  This is not a new debate . . . it has been going on for as long as I can remember.  There is a lot of silliness on both sides of the issue . . . some downright craziness on the extreme edges . . . and, it seems that the issue is no closer to being settled than it was thirty or forty years ago.  And, of course, the church is going to stick its nose in to put its two-cents worth in . . .

The Christian Century had a little blurb about this issue in its most recent edition (January 23, 2013) in the section called Century Marks.  The magazine shared a brief story about a congregation in Oklahoma--Pryor Creek Community Church—that is one of a number of congregations that sponsor classes on using concealed weapons.  The thinking behind offering these classes is as a form of evangelism . . . as a means of reaching out to new people and gaining members.  Apparently it works.  Despite criticism the church continues to offer the class.  I guess having faith in Jesus is not enough, pack a Glock and be certain!  Who needs a plastic Jesus, I have a .38 snub nose right next to my Bible!

I really do not want to get into the debate . . . I just want the debate to be civil, discerning, and filled with common sense.  I also want it to be filled with faith.  It is scary to think—especially with concealed weapon laws in a lot of states, including Montana—that there are folks sitting out there in the pews armed with guns.  This makes a preacher more than a little nervous.  What if the guy armed with the gun doesn’t like what I have to say in the sermon some Sunday morning . . . BANG!  End of discussion.  Makes one chose his or her words carefully from the pulpit.  I know that I exaggerate, but there have been more shootings in churches over the years than any of us would like to mention. 

The world seems to have gotten more violent and unpredictable (crazy, if you want).  There is a cry for people to protect themselves . . . to arm themselves against danger.  Apparently the church, at least in Oklahoma, sees this as an evangelism tool.  I do not think that this is the mainstream view, but it does make me uncomfortable . . . and, I imagine that there are more congregations doing this than most of us are aware of.  But what does this say about faith?  What does this say about trusting God and Jesus with our lives?  Does Jesus want us to arm ourselves?  Aren’t we missing the mark as the followers of Jesus when we offer such classes?

I believe that guns do not belong in the church.  If you want to have a gun, fine . . . keep the gun at home when you come to worship.  God will take care of us.  I believe that.  That is called faith.  I’ll stick with my plastic Jesus . . . it has gotten me this far . . . I am sure it can get me the rest of the way home.  In these times I think that we need Jesus more than guns.  Bring back the plastic Jesus!

 

Where’s the Inch?

Do you remember Jared Fogle?  The “Subway Guy”?  Jared Fogle was the guy who stated that he lost nearly 200 pounds by eating healthier and munching on Subway sandwiches.  His claim got him a spokesperson job hawking the sandwiches through Subway advertising media.  Now the truth comes out . . . the sandwiches were an inch short!  He was never eating foot-long subs to begin with . . . they were only eleven inches long!  Now we know.

Recently Subway regular, Matt Corby, posted a picture on Facebook of the sub he had bought from the eatery . . . he posted it next to a tape measure.  The sub sandwich came up short . . . an inch to be exact.  He captioned the picture: “subway pls respond.”

The posting pretty much went viral with over 40,000 “likes, shares, or comments”.  People were not happy that they were getting ripped off, paying for twelve inches and only getting eleven.  People demanded everything from a congressional hearing to free sandwiches for a year to a one inch refund.  Subway got caught a little short.

Of course this is not the first time a fast-food chain has been caught fudging on their claims.  All the hamburger places got called to the carpet years ago for claiming that they were serving quarter pound burgers.  Eventually someone weighed one and it came up lighter than a quarter pound.  The cry went out, “Where’s the beef!”  With Subway it is “Where’s the inch!”  Remember when McDonalds—Mickey’s Golden Rainbow—couldn’t prove that there was actual ice cream in their ice cream?

Needless to say these fast-food places are not “mom and pop” operations—they are huge multi-national corporations.  As multi-national corporations they have great lawyers and advertisers working for them.  The burger dilemma was solved when they started putting on their menu that the weight of the burgers was the “pre-cooked weight” and that it would diminish once cooked.  Subway’s response?  Those fixing the baking their fresh baked bread we baking it wrong—thus the length of their bread would vary slightly when not baked correctly.  From here on out they would make sure that their employees would do it right . . . they’d get that inch back come hell or high water or those employees would soon find themselves at the fryer at McDonalds!

This news destroys the Jared myth of weight loss.  They were duping us.  Jared never ate any foot-long sub!  Eating subs twice a day for a week, Jared was coming up a sub short for all of his efforts.  No wonder he lost that weight!  If I was to give up a sub a week I’d lose weight too!  It is sad when another national trust bites the dust for lies and false advertising . . . why, Subway, why?  Where’s the inch!

 

When Is Enough, Enough?

I might be a simpleton . . . but when is enough, enough?

I know a guy who is contemplating making major changes in his living situation because of the lifestyle he is accustomed to.  The problem is that he just isn’t making enough money to live the way that he and his wife are accustomed to.  Economic times have cramped their lives and lifestyles.   Basically the two of them have tumbled down into the middle ground of being middle class—basically where a lot of us are living our lives.  Neither one of them likes living in the middle class and misses the days when money was everything.

From my perch they live a lot better than the wife and I do.  They have a nicer house, bigger yard, drive more expensive cars, take monthly vacations, and live in a fancier and richer neighborhood than we do.  They like to hob-nob with the rich and famous, drop names of important people they know, and see shopping at the local Wal-Mart as one of the penalties they must pay for being among the middle class.  They don’t like it.  They want more.

Financially the wife and I are in the best shape that we have ever been in our lives.  We have what we both consider a nice life.  We have a home that is our own for the first time ever.  It is not extravagant, but comfortable and our home.  We driver older vehicles which get us wherever we need to go—they ain’t pretty but they function.  Our neighborhood is nothing to write home about—nothing fancy, but we have good neighbors who like us and we all would do anything to help each other out.  We have the toys we want—we have a stereo, flat screen television, computers, and even iPads.  We shop at Wal-Mart, clip coupons, and look for bargains.  We feel blessed—as blessed as we have ever been.  We are happy for the most part.

In fact, we are living better than a lot of the rest of the people in the world.  In the eyes of a lot of folks around the world, the wife and I would be considered rich . . . really rich.  But the truth of the matter, I guess, is that it is a matter of perspective.  Some think that we are rich, others think that we are poor, and we see ourselves as happy and blessed.  Whenever I am around this guy I feel uncomfortable . . . uncomfortable because I encounter people like him all of the time . . . people who always want more and never seem to have enough to make them happy.  They are never happy.

As I said, maybe I am too simple.  Maybe I do not understand economics . . . or business . . . or even money.  I cannot understand how a product like a loaf of bread now costs more (much, much more) than it did nearly forty years ago.  What used to cost fifty cents now costs close to five dollars.  It is cheaper and quicker to make the bread today—less people are involved in the process than forty years ago, and the cost has gone way, way up.  I have been told it is inflation . . . that it is the cost of running a business . . . but, the bottom line is greed.

When I was actively collecting sports cards with my children they would always ask me what a card was worth.  Of course, we would look the price up in periodicals that published the market prices based on demand.  The kids (and I, too) would get all excited when we would see that our little piece of cardboard was worth big bucks.  The kids dreamed of new cars, I dreamed of retiring.  The truth is that a sports card is only worth what someone will pay a person for it—typically, not much more than what the cardboard was worth . . . maybe a nickel.  Of course, we wanted more.  I now have my retirement plan sitting in boxes in the basement of our house.  I was greedy.

So when is enough, enough?  I want the oil manufacturers of gasoline to tell me.  I want those who are in the entertainment business to tell me.  I want those who push wealth on Wall Street to tell me.  I want those who go around hawking get-rich schemes to tell me.  When do we draw a line in the sand and say that we have enough . . . more than enough to live our lives comfortably.  Is having the most the only way any of us can find value in ourselves?

It is a matter of perspective and maybe most of us have too small of a perspective.  As I said earlier, in the eyes of the rest of the world ours is a very, very rich nation.  Most of us would be seen as wealthy in other countries.  I met another guy once who said that he grew up poor, but never realized he was poor until one day someone pointed it out to him.  Suddenly the wonderful world and family he had grown up in was inadequate and embarrassing . . . he was told that he needed more.  He stated that he had always thought of himself as being rich . . . rich in relationships, family, faith, friends, and especially laughter . . . he had always he had plenty to get him through life, but once it was pointed out that he didn’t have enough . . . well, he wanted more.  Then he said to me, “I was the one who lost in the end . . . I lost my family, friends, relationships, faith, and laughter chasing after more.  I was already rich.”

Oh well, this is a rambling piece that probably has no real answers.  I will be told that accepting that enough is enough is not a good answer to all the ills of our economic woes and system of business.  It is too simple.  To the guy who doesn’t like his slide into the world of being middle class, there is not much I can say.  I never really thought of myself as being middle class, poor, or rich when it came to my financial well-being.  All I know is that—for now—I have more than enough of the material wealth and things to keep me more than happy.   I don’t worry about them.  This gives me more time to appreciate the greater riches that come from family and friends.  Considering this I am rich.  I think that we all are if we take the time to see it from a different perspective.